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• Modi • Season 8 • Episode 127

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Episode 127: From the chaos of flying to Australia and back to Tel Aviv, to Modi's unforgettable induction into the Anu Museum, this episode tackles the etiquette of airplane luggage, weddings in Monaco, and even what to do with leftover peanut butter at vacation rentals. Be sure to follow the podcast on Instagram @ahm_podcast.

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Modi:

Welcome to, and here's Modi yesterday yeah, yesterday, yeah, ashton and brand like a brand of, like a merchandise brand, ashton brand.

Periel:

Okay, there's no gucci, there's, no brand there's no t, there's no t.

Modi:

And then, uh, and leo vega, um, we are here. What I said, what's up, what's up? So we're here and, uh, I hope everybody's doing well. This is probably catching you guys after the holidays or in between all the holidays. I hope you have had an unbelievable time with your families, friends and just creating mashiach energy and preparing for the new year. The rosh hashanah it's still like, still it's. You still feel rosh hashanah weeks after rosh hashanah, you know how long like would they say?

Periel:

like with January 1st, you're not allowed to wish people like a happy new year until, like, after January 4th.

Leo:

Oh, I'm fully wishing people happy new year for Rosh Hashanah, well into Yom Kippur.

Modi:

Oh, deep, deep into it. I always do it. Also into Sukkot, which is afterwards.

Periel:

Really, when's Sukkot?

Modi:

Four days after. It's all. They're just back to back, to back to back. It's so insane. And then Shemichaz Torah, and then Shemini Yetzaret, and then the who, yeah, all of them, they're all the holidays.

Periel:

What was the last one?

Modi:

Shemini Yetzaret.

Periel:

What? That's not a thing.

Modi:

That's the holiday where we take out our sofas.

Periel:

Stop it right now.

Modi:

No no, we take out our sofas and we put them out in the street, and then we air them and we put them back in the house. That's Shemini Tzeret.

Leo:

Okay, he's fucking with you. He is fucking with me, you are.

Modi:

Do you need to make the curses here? Did you just make that, of course?

Leo:

I made that up. I'm not sitting here explaining Shemitah to you.

Modi:

We have a lot to cover. Can we not go down the rabbit hole of Jewish holidays?

Leo:

Okay, I'm on like two hours of sleep and half a cold brew, so let's go.

Modi:

Okay, let's go. You said you had plans for this episode.

Leo:

No, no, no. I have like backup questions that I've jotted down in my notes app on our travels.

Periel:

Maybe we should start with our travels. You should, starting with Monica.

Leo:

Well, starting with Australia.

Periel:

Did we discuss?

Leo:

Australia.

Modi:

I think we did. Yeah, I discussed it with L11. I had an L11 session. I didn't tell you.

Leo:

Well, I wasn't there, so it doesn't count.

Modi:

It doesn't count. Yeah, we were in Australia and it was unbelievable. Thank you, Australia.

Leo:

Thank you, melbourne, and thank you. Sydney, that was great. Then we came home briefly.

Periel:

Wait, that's Australia. Thank you Melbourne, thank you Sydney. We're just recapping.

Leo:

I'm trying to.

Modi:

Tell you, guys flew to the other side of planet Earth. Everybody that lives in Australia invited us for Shabbat or to their homes or to restaurants or to. They all Very welcoming, very nice, very welcoming the shows were amazing.

Leo:

They were very appreciative that we had made the schlep. It is a schlep. If you've never done it, brace yourself. But now the good news is, once we have done that, We'll never do it again.

Modi:

No, no. But now the good news is, once we have done that, um, we'll never do it again. No, no, that's not true we'll do it again.

Leo:

No, but then the flight to tel aviv the next week was like nothing. You're like new york to tel aviv?

Modi:

you're like, okay, what, bring it on like it was everyone in australia is like you americans with your long trip. Oh, it's three hour long, are you guys crazy? They, when they get on a plane, it's at least least nine hours anywhere near them.

Modi:

So for them to like when we say I'm going to go to Florida, but it's only two and a half. Is it two and a half hour? I don't feel like shopping in two and a half hours. They don't. They look at us like we're crazy. They get on planes like it's nothing. Some of them come back and forth to America four times a year. But you four times a year. But if you do, you do it right. You go to la. You take a few days there. It was whatever who.

Leo:

There's a million conversations on how to get to australia, but you can get there and it's so I thought we were going to kill the downtime between australia and tel aviv and the maldives. But then the maldives banned israeli passports, so we came home for like five business days from australia, just enough time to like maybe not be jet lagged anymore. And then we boomeranged on over to Tel Aviv.

Modi:

When you did 2,600 people at the Echal HaTarbut, the Brafman Center, also known as the Israeli Philharmonic.

Periel:

Period, period.

Modi:

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. It was so amazing Weren't you inducted into a museum. I was inducted into the museum named Anu. It's a museum.

Leo:

Of the Jewish people yeah.

Periel:

I love that so much.

Modi:

It was so, so cute, it was beautiful. It is a gorgeous museum on the campus of Tel Aviv University and it's really funny because on the campus of Tel Aviv University and it's really funny because on the on tel aviv, on the campus of tel aviv university, you have buildings and like vibes of like 1960 and then you have a brand new, gorgeous building. And this museum is brand new, gorgeous and before I was inducted there they we had a whole day of just you know, pictures and ceremony and pr and all. And then there's this guy who is a doctor of MD, phd, everything of humor.

Leo:

No, he's like a psycho, a brain. He studies the brain, neurology, specifically the humor. Yes, specifically the humor Neurological study.

Modi:

He was at Columbia University and he's especially with jewish humor and he has this podcast called um comedians on campus and um the studio that they that they film in, that they their little, their podcast studio yeah is a studio that was built in 1960 on tel aviv campus. It's like where I guess they had little their podcast studio. Yeah, is a studio that was built in 1960 on tel aviv campus. It's like where I guess they had their their campus radio station yeah, the campus radio station, wow, and you feel it.

Modi:

Yeah, and they had albums hanging on the wall from 1960s. And it's so funny because I don't know if you saw the, the video of us with the house in connecticut where I bought the albums for my mother's house, of course, yeah, yeah. Two of those albums are hanging on the Eurovision 72. And then this festival, shirei El-Adim, this festival of Israeli Jewish kids songs, and they were hanging there right after we opened up the albums in the House in Connecticut, yeah, so you're inducted into the exhibition on Jewish humor.

Leo:

You're officially featured in two sections of the museum on two different floors. One is the permanent exhibition on Jewish humor, where they're playing a clip of your special on a loop.

Modi:

Yeah.

Leo:

And then also downstairs there's like a bigger exhibition that I think they said they're also going to keep now that's become so popular. And you have another clip of your special.

Periel:

I need to go to this museum immediately. That sounds so amazing. Can I put something in this podcast out in the world? I have been meaning to tell you this for like a year. There is an Israeli comedian that we have to get on this show. His name is uddy kagan you know who he is. No okay, he's, he has a show yeah you will be on the floor.

Periel:

Crying guy has to sit next to me and like, explain a little bit, and you know what it's called? What mashiach. Oh really, I just want whoever is listening to this podcast, please, maybe ben ben a little bit and you know what it's called, what Moshiach.

Modi:

Oh really, I just want whoever is listening to this podcast please.

Leo:

Maybe Ben Ben Make your magic.

Modi:

We did a podcast with this Israeli comedian called Ben Ben Baruch. Okay, and he's like the most Sephardi guy in the world, he's like the Joe Rogan of Israel and he was so cute. He sent the car for us and this beautiful mercedes sent sent like you know, and brought us into this part of yafel that was like, oh, we're gonna be killed, we are good, no, I was like oh, we're the new hostages.

Modi:

We're the new hostages. It looked like you, the scariest thing I ever saw in israel, like like a garage type of a thing. But like then we walked in. Obviously he was a gorgeous studio he made and he's and he was amazing. He's a huge fan and he was so so far. And first of all, I spoke to him in hebrew and he told me afterwards he's like I, I was so scared, I didn't know. You spoke Hebrew.

Leo:

Yeah, all the comments were like shook that you were fluent in Hebrew.

Periel:

Yeah, I have to tell you something. I watched that video and it's not that I didn't know that you were so fluent in Hebrew, but I was really impressed at how good your Hebrew is.

Modi:

For the record, I didn't speak English until like very later and like even in high school and even school we and even now, sometimes now right no, we, we spoke Hebrew in the house.

Periel:

It's not like it was it our house, but it's been a long time and no, my parents are still alive. My parents, we.

Modi:

I do not speak English with my parents. We don't speak English my parents.

Periel:

Your sisters speak Hebrew as well as you?

Modi:

Yes, yes, my sister went to university in Israel. I mean, we speak Hebrew, that's our language. English happens to me just because we live here. Anyway, we did this thing with Ben Ben baruch and it was so funny and he was, he was a great podcaster and he's um, and it's adorable, adorable. My mom listened to the podcast and uh and uh and to his podcast and of course, she comes with her opinions like it's very funny, because how does he make money? He doesn't, he doesn't have sponsors. He said like yeah, he said like I have to plug my shows now because I don't have an A and H provisions, which provides the top quality kosher meats, especially hot dogs, seth, our friend. You can reach them at kosherdogsnet promo code MOTI for 30% off and they really are amazing.

Periel:

Glot kosher.

Modi:

Glot kosher foods period, glot kosher provisions. So he said to me I don't have an A&H, I also don't have a Weitz and Luxembourg, the law firm that not only does well, they do good philanthropically. And uh, our friend of the podcast, arthur, and of course randy, his wife, who listens to it and reports to him what we talk about.

Modi:

um, he said to me, you know, I don't. I don't have because, lian, I don't have a sponsor. I gotta tell them when my shows are. And he was just, he was so cute. And leo came in and like, and poor leo's, it was a two-hour podcast and leo was just sitting there, you know, and how much can you be on twitter? So we brought leo in and it was very cute.

Periel:

It was very, very cute, um and how was the vibe in israel? Was it um?

Modi:

how was the vibe for you in israel?

Leo:

um I, you had 2,600 people come out to your show and we did the thing and it was amazing and beautiful. And then we left and then the next day it was like the airport was closed, there's bombs, there's the Iron Dome being deployed again, so it's just like we literally got in and out to do the show just in time.

Modi:

We came in for four days. We had a few things to do and the show, just in time. We came in for four days, we had a few things to do and, um, we did them all and we saw family and then we did the show. You know, they, they, they send an email to everybody the day of the show that the show is not canceled. Then, before the show begins, they make an announcement. If a siren does go off during the show and bombs are, so stay in your seats. The building is protected under certain concrete, whatever walls. And here's Modi. Yeah, literally, wow, literally Like if Tel Aviv is being bombed. Just sit in your seat, don't panic and run.

Periel:

And that is so insane. It's so insane.

Leo:

And Modi's on stage like ta-da.

Modi:

Get to be here. It was so much fun. It was a show that I was able to. I was dropping Hebrew everywhere.

Periel:

That's what I was going to ask you.

Modi:

Everybody knew what I was talking about, and I talked about being in Chetz V'keshet, which is this Like the Boy Scouts. It's like is it the Boy?

Periel:

Scouts. It's like the Tzofim, it's like the. Is it the Boy Scouts, is it? It's like?

Modi:

the Tsofim. It's the army. The army has a division called Hagadna, which is the. You were in the army. I wasn't not in the army.

Periel:

Wait a second. You served in the army? No, he did not.

Leo:

No, let him finish the story he did not, that's a very quick no.

Modi:

you just gave.

Leo:

He was basically an Eagle Scout. Let's keep it moving.

Modi:

Let's not belittle my contribution to the Israeli IDF. All right, there was a program for kids like you literally like you and me whose parents are Israeli, that were here and they went back to for the summer. I'm trying to make this so people understand without belittling it. It's like a teen tour in. Israel for kids of Israeli parents. Okay, and it's in an army frame.

Periel:

Okay.

Modi:

So we stayed on army bases, we slept on army bases and we Slept with army frame. So we stayed on army bases, we slept on army bases and we.

Periel:

Slept with army men.

Modi:

So that was one of the jokes. And then we went all over Israel and saw Israel Within the frame of the military.

Periel:

Okay.

Modi:

So my joke, they know what this is here I am explaining to you. They know what it is so I didn't to you. Right, right, right. They know what it is so I didn't have to the whole bill up of explaining, so I said. So basically, here I am, 16 years old, undiagnosed homosexual, and my mom says to me hey, do you want to go for the summer and live in the barracks with Israeli soldiers? I'm like sounds good to me. I'm like sounds good to me. And that was the kind of humor that we were doing in that show, because they got it on like another level. You know, it was so good, it must be so fun to be able.

Modi:

Definitely a highlight show of my career.

Periel:

Definitely a highlight show of my career. That's incredible really.

Modi:

Yeah, and then we flew to Monaco. It was a hard cut. It was a hard cut. I have to talk about the monaco show too. Wait. So here we are in israel. We're leaving in the afternoon. The country is now it's end of august, so it has that whole film of desert and dust on everything. The cars are all dirty. No one's even bothered. That's not just because the end of August, that's year round.

Modi:

No, no, no, no, at the end of the summer the country's extra desert-y. You know what I'm saying. So it's like that, and the end of the summer and the weight of the war.

Periel:

Yeah.

Modi:

And the weight of the war. And even though the restaurants are packed, packed, people are talking about the war. Yeah, so it's hard. It's not the vibe, it's a different vibe and the looming war that's about to happen up north and all of that stuff. And then we get on a plane, we land to happen in up north and all of that stuff. And then we get on a plane, we land in Nice and are driven in this Maybach into Monaco.

Periel:

I literally cannot.

Leo:

It's so out there and I was thinking the last time I did the Tel Aviv Charles de Gaulle leg on an airplane was on October 7th, that's right, so it was a little triggering. Airplane was on october 7th, that's right, so it was a little triggering.

Periel:

So was it softened by the fact that you moved into a veritable fucking chateau?

Modi:

it softened the blow a little bit f, where that means it's something we cannot use in a clip no, we can bleep it out do you understand the way that clips work.

Leo:

Yeah, do you understand how any of this works?

Periel:

Wait, wait, wait. Okay, sorry, so you went to.

Leo:

So we go to Monaco was a private event.

Modi:

Monaco was a private event and I'm going to tell you what it was and a big fat yeshukayach. Good for the bride. The bride, I'm going to give her a big yeshukayach. This bride said what am I going to make my wedding? It's that whole circuit of people that do weddings, like where it's a destination wedding, In Capri, in Saint-Tropez, in, like, you know, Bucks, Anyway. So she's like my husband is my future husband. My groom is a big Modi fan. So, yeah, he's a big Modi fan, so I'm going to bring Modi to the wedding.

Periel:

That is so amazingly cool, amazingly cool.

Modi:

She passes the whole thing on to the party planner. Banana split party planning out of London. Amazing, they're great Professionals, professional. Great name Period, banana split. And we Shout out to sasha yeah, um, leo, of course, leo, of course falls in love with the party planner. Um, besties, uh, we, we get to. Uh. So I said to her, besides me emceeing the, the wedding, which is all they brought me, and they didn't bring me to do comedy.

Periel:

He didn't do any comedy he was just there, you knew you were coming.

Leo:

No, no, stop it. And he surprised him in the chuppah no yeah.

Modi:

Bodhi walked into the chuppah while they were doing to do the seventh blessing. Oh my god. So I said okay, so this was a surprise. So here I am, we were, here I am, we were staying, and then Leo's in the back of the room.

Periel:

Yeah, Eating like canape.

Modi:

No, leo's making sure everything's happening right. He's communicating with everybody. The hotel that all the guests were staying at was Hotel de Paris, from, like the James Bond movie. We were on the other side, this gorgeous hotel, the Metropole, and facing it. It was beautiful, but no one saw us from the party because otherwise it had blown the surprise. Anyway, the next we have the wedding. They pick us up and they hold us in the car a few, a few meters down from where everybody was entering into the synagogue, right. And now I'm in there and I have to pee. So I asked the driver can I go pee in the corner? He goes. No, there's cameras everywhere in Monaco. The police will come right away. Monaco is watched. Every inch is being watched, at every moment, period. Okay, anyway, I said I want to hear the ceremony before I go on.

Periel:

Wait, where did you pee?

Modi:

I went into the synagogue before I go on. Where did you pee? I went into the synagogue before I went on. We go into the synagogue and I want to hear the whole ceremony. I want to hear what the rabbi says, I want to hear the whole thing. And who else is doing the blessings. And the rabbi, when I give you know, your audience did not know your audience. He didn't get it. No, I'm not going to, he just didn't. Your audience, you didn't do anything yet. No, I'm gonna, I'm not gonna. He just didn't. He didn't look at this room. They're not religious, they're not get to the point. Okay, my khuppahs are only 18 minutes gag to the. If I'm doing a khuppah from the masada kedusha and the khuppah 18 minutes max no, how much longer.

Periel:

You don't go on, for he did a whole thing for the ketub.

Modi:

For he did a whole thing for the Ketubah reading. He did a whole thing. He gave a Devar Torah that no one followed. Period. Nobody followed this.

Periel:

Do you love this critique of the rabbi's sermon?

Modi:

Awful, awful. And then he brings me on, so he goes. And now for the seventh blessing. I don't even know who this is. This is a surprise guest and I walk in with the yearly coat, do you understand? The room is dying because they all know who I am and the groom he didn't set them up with. The groom and bride are facing the audience, which is what I do. They're back to us and he was on top of that. I don't know what minhag, what tradition he has, that they hold the talus over their head. So all you're seeing is a sheet. Awful way to do a chuppah Awful and bad for pictures.

Leo:

Awful. Oh yeah, that's what the party planner said they were like the whole video is just the back of their heads heads.

Modi:

It's so stupid, terrible, he didn't know how to do it. He he's probably probably doesn't do a lot of of weddings it doesn't know how to do like as good as I do a wedding. Okay, anyway, I walk in there. My opening line was can I say the names? Probably not, okay, I'll just say um say periel, periel and Guy.

Modi:

Periel Guy, I wish that your love, your marriage and your lives last as long as this ceremony. I was like this is a whole. And then the rabbi whispers in my ear because you're not allowed to speak between the blessings, and he says in the dub you can't speak. He's giving me the and I said to him I don't need your help.

Leo:

Well, that was just the ceremony. And then we went to the reception and I thought well, I didn't think I knew beforehand, but like when we booked this, I thought they were going to have you do like a whole comedy thing at the reception. They just wanted you to vibe with them. They just you introduced like some speeches, but you didn't do any.

Modi:

They asked, they asked me. In the thing it said that it ends like they paid a nice price. So they said just to invite people into the invite people, great gig for you again. And then there's a reason my, there's a mashiach energy story in this too.

Periel:

Um, there is also a curb your enthusiasm episode. There's a lot. There's a Mashiach energy story. In this, too, there is also a Curb your Enthusiasm episode. There's a lot. There's a lot happening.

Modi:

There's a lot. A lot was going on. First of all, it was just fun to have me there. There were fans there, yeah, no, it's fantastic. It put an element into the wedding. But also the father of the bride before the wedding didn't feel well and couldn't make the the wedding.

Leo:

oh so having he did not feel well.

Modi:

He collapsed like two days before the wedding and was in the hospital right before this like multi-million dollar wedding of his daughter so I just, I was just trying to make it a little more less, uh, you know, because it is somebody's wedding we're talking about, um, we, haven't named names, though. Yeah, uh, and like me being there was kind of a distraction.

Periel:

You're like it's like very beyonce for you guys. I don't know if this is beyond.

Modi:

I was not beyonce, I didn't sing a song and there was no fan at my hair um I'll get you one if you want but, like one of the things that they're asking to do, would you mind inviting everybody from the, the, the garden that there's a patio, into the wedding, into?

Leo:

the dinner.

Modi:

I didn't care I went out there and I go, ladies and gentlemen and this is obviously in monaco, where they speak french you go, ladies and gentlemen, please now enter into the ballroom where we'll begin the ceremony, and then I just go, I just tried to make up french, and that's when everybody just talks to what is he saying? And um, and it was a great night and they're they're such a cute couple and she's such a great vibe and she's a huge fan of leo from the podcast. They all loved leo and it was, uh, it was really funny because the groom was Bukharian, like Victoria, and so you have these Bukharian women and then you have these Monaco England women. It was really, really, it was an amazing, amazing event.

Periel:

And how long did you guys stay in Monaco? Like two and a half days and did you at some point start to imagine like I can live here?

Leo:

True to form. I did. It was mostly on the yachts. I was like I could live on that, I could live there, but it was beautiful. I mean, at one point I sat on a bench on the street like a bus stop bench, just to get my bearings and I sat on it and just even with my clothes on I could tell how clean it was. I was like, oh, someone just put did they just put polish on this. Like it's you could eat off of the sidewalk, you could. It's like there's not a speck of anything anywhere, not even a piece of gum on the sidewalk. It's like it looks like a sound stage. It's unbelievable.

Periel:

You've been there yeah, I have been there, wow, but I I mean, like you know, like a sound stage.

Leo:

It's unbelievable.

Periel:

You've been there? Yeah, I have been there wow but I I mean, like you know, like 20 years ago, but I was looking at your pictures from monaco and I was like what is going on here?

Modi:

it's so, and god amalek uh, uh, sent us to a restaurant. He took care of us like his friends, brought us to their restaurant and it was really, really we had was an amazing it's beautiful?

Leo:

yeah, it was very, very, very fun so, um, okay, instagram has released a feature where we can insert a poll, like ask people questions in the caption and people can like interactively vote. So I thought it would be cute if we made some questions or posed some topics that people could weigh in on on the comments. Now that we've built out a separate instagram page for the podcast, which we're working on expanding, and I'm also trying to build out a website, um, the instagram page, just so everyone has the reference, is AHM underscore podcast AHM as in and here's Modi. So I wrote down some random thoughts I had as we were, like in these airport lounges, on these planes going to and from shows that I wanted to talk about.

Periel:

Well, let's hear them, let's hear them.

Leo:

So here's one of them. Yes, am I supposed to offer help to women on airplanes with their luggage, putting it in the overhead bin? 100% no Interesting, because I have been offering and I have gotten shot down and with like some dirty looks as well.

Periel:

Like I can do this myself. No, no, no, no. It's nice Folks at home weigh in.

Leo:

Should me an able-bodied, strapping young man be helping any one of the female persuasion with their bags in the overhead bin? Obviously, if they're like elderly, I'm going to do it without hesitation, but I mean like anyone else besides that. So you need to have a Keep in mind. I have five sisters and I'm used to doing that and helping Keep in mind.

Modi:

I'm on the other side of you and sometimes I tell you, Leo, help her out because she's a mess. You're already in your chair and I see an elderly woman coming in with the bag.

Leo:

Which I'm happy to do For the record.

Modi:

Leo pops out of the chair and picks it up for them.

Periel:

That's very sweet.

Modi:

It's more like you're in the scenario of like. Should I get up for this person in the subway?

Leo:

No, no, no, no no. It might make them feel like that they look old, Right Well also, sometimes it's just not even an older female, it's like a girl my age and she's like I can do it myself, Like I don't need you and I don't want you to talk to me.

Modi:

I don't know.

Leo:

I think that's Well. You said I shouldn't be helping them. That was your answer initially.

Periel:

I don't think you should feel obligated to help them.

Leo:

Oh, no, I don't feel obligated, but like. Is there a world in which a woman would be like you as well? Like would be offended by that?

Modi:

No, Not only women also men To pick up your luggage and put it over your head. We exercise, so we know we have to pick up a weight over our head.

Leo:

These are people who might not have put something over their head. For the record, on the last flight I did sit there and help like five people in a row, like I was working on the airplane.

Modi:

Okay, so I'm not not helping people the stewardess sometimes asks you, the flight attendant sometimes say would you mind helping us, Because they know it's going to be a heavy thing.

Periel:

The answer to that is no.

Leo:

No, I'll help.

Periel:

I'm always.

Leo:

I'm happy to help. I just had one or two interactions where they were like with younger women no women and I was like, hey, do you want me to help you with that? And they were like I got it.

Periel:

And I was like that's okay. Speaking of airplanes and France, I just want to tell you guys two things. Number one I just came back from Paris, which is the most gorgeous city ever, and I went to Shabour, which is a Saf Granit restaurant, his Michelin star Israeli restaurant in Paris and I just want to give a shout out to everyone there. It was so amazing.

Periel:

You know, I've been on this kick where, like, I'm only going to Israeli restaurants since October 7th and I thought of you guys because I flew on La Compagnie, which is an all business class airline straight New York, paris, that's it Good for Guy for taking me out like I'm proper.

Modi:

Guy didn't take me out.

Leo:

I've heard of La Compagnie. I have not booked it, but so it's JFK to.

Periel:

It's Newark to Orly.

Leo:

Okay.

Periel:

And it is chic. Yeah, I've looked at it.

Leo:

I've looked into it so good and Guy did not. Yeah, I've looked at it. I've looked into it so good and Guy did not take me.

Periel:

I went with my best girlfriend.

Leo:

Oh, okay, guy was like what?

Periel:

What are you nuts?

Leo:

I have another question relating to luggage. I'm sorry.

Modi:

No, the luggage thing is always offered to help, so okay.

Leo:

So on the inverse now we've landed and we're getting out of the car or Uber and we're at the hotel the bellhops. I don't want help in that situation. I'm okay with my own bags. In fact, I actually don't want them. I don't want my bags disappearing from view and then reappearing in my room. I want my bags with me. I can hold them. Also, I may or may not have cash on me to tip the bellhop. So what do you feel about that? Like when I get out of the car and they're like sure, and then I'm like no, I got it.

Modi:

Like is that okay? Again, baruch Hashem, thank God, we are both men that are strong and able to to move, maneuver. We're able to maneuver a nap. Leo's knapsack, by the way, weighs 480 pounds.

Leo:

Well, you carry around the laptop then and everything Okay, but I'm just saying Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Modi:

Let me finish the thought. And we have the roller bag and we have the large bag, the checked bag, all on wheels. We can manage to do it together. For example, I remember one time getting to the Four Seasons with Arthur Arthur Luxembourg. He has no even conception of ever touching his luggage.

Leo:

I just don't.

Modi:

It's a different. I don't want the interaction.

Leo:

I don't want them following us up to our room or like where they do it, where they like. They take the bags and the bags show up later.

Periel:

So you got it.

Leo:

And then you have to like hold the door open for them so they can bring your bags into the room. Like I don't like that whole. Even at a fancy hotel we stay at really nice hotels Like I don't want them doing that for me.

Periel:

That's fine. You don't have to do that All you got to do.

Leo:

All you got to do is just say I got it. Do you have the bellhops to help you with your bag, or do you take it? We'll add that I'm going to splice all these up as questions to ask people.

Periel:

My answer is I like to get out of the a princess. That doesn't surprise anyone, and not see anything and then have it all.

Leo:

I'm a princess too, but I'm an able-bodied princess. We should say Baruch Hashem, so you can do that. Okay, baruch Hashem. I'm just asking questions that pop into my head.

Modi:

Okay, so what are the questions that they have to answer? Do you want help from the bellhop?

Leo:

And no, I'm going to splice these up and then I'm going to put them on the Instagram page of the podcast and they can answer them in the poll.

Periel:

I have a travel related question.

Leo:

Go ahead.

Periel:

Luggage.

Leo:

Yep.

Periel:

One of our travel partners I clocked had a Ramoa suitcase.

Leo:

Overrated, expensive For no reason. They're nice, they're aesthetically, but Modi has a hard line on hard shell suit luggage. It's a no, it's inefficient. Yeah, all of our luggage is the soft shelled Samsonite.

Modi:

Why A? It's much, much lighter. B you buy a sweater duty free, or you decide last minute you want to grab something or you don't want to wear the sweater you wore on the plane. You open it up and you slip it in the.

Leo:

Ramoah is like what am I breaking into a safe right now? It's like it's a lot, it's a lot.

Periel:

It's also like….

Leo:

But do you like them?

Periel:

I think that they look amazing.

Leo:

So, they look amazing and I also like their accessories.

Periel:

They, they look amazing and I also like their accessories. They have like phone cases and like little purses that are like cute. It's like $2,000 for a suitcase that you're checking that might get lost, exactly the thing that annoyed me was that because they get banged up, yeah Right, and so they're saying like, oh, the more banged up it is, like, the cooler it is no. And I was like what that is such?

Leo:

You don, that is such you don't need to buy high-end luggage. We travel so much, we're on so many airplanes. We have Samsonites that are the nice Samsonites like and they have taken a beating and they look good and they're fine.

Modi:

That's all you need the suitcases in Israel they come out they like fly the first one came out. I don't know what speed it came out at, but it, like it, fell into the belt and then flipped over onto the floor. The first one from the flight Boom boom right out there.

Leo:

Yeah, go ahead. This is something that came into my head when we were in Fire Island during our last trip. So Fire Island is a collection of share houses that people rent for like weeks or at a time, and they're nice houses. The house that we stayed at was actually listed on zillow for 3.5 million dollars. So pick, it's a nice house that you're renting and what happens is maybe the people the week before you leave some groceries there like maybe they'll leave an unopened almond milk or like something in the pantry and but they, they do clean out. You know they reset everything. I found a jar of peanut butter. You know I love peanut butter. Yes, in the pantry that I could tell only had like one little knife scoop popped out of it. Do you eat that peanut butter A hundred percent, or is that gone? You don't know whose?

Periel:

knife. That was Absolutely not. That goes right into the garbage.

Modi:

Are you? What's wrong with you?

Periel:

Somebody could have.

Modi:

I mean, I won't even say the thing she doesn't know the culture of Fire Island.

Periel:

I know the culture of Fire Island very well, so just let's take Fire Island out of the equation and that's why I'm saying the culture of the culture.

Modi:

Oh, so here's what happens.

Leo:

Let's take Fire Island out of the equation. You get to a nice Airbnb. Sometimes in the Airbnbs there's stuff in the pantry.

Modi:

No, then the answer is then you're not asking the same question.

Leo:

See, I'm glad I'm causing drama, stirring the pot.

Modi:

This is more engaging. And you get to Fire Island, you have the people that you're in the house with. You do the first pantry run. We go to the store and there's a pantry and the pantry is the grocery store. And we, by the way, for example, we were staying with Chris Hessney, who You're saying that like I'm supposed to know who that is?

Periel:

He's like a big party guy.

Modi:

We should have him on the podcast 100%.

Periel:

Oh, is this the guy who lays out like all of the candies for Halloween?

Modi:

Yes, yes. He went to the pantry and dropped $1,300 worth of shtos. He bought everything that wasn't nailed down.

Leo:

That's just him, though. That's just him.

Modi:

So there was so much food the week after we were there the people didn't have to go to the pantry.

Periel:

Okay, that's different, though we bought everything. That's a completely different thing. If I knew that the two of you were the people staying there, I would eat the food.

Leo:

Yeah, but you don't know the people who were there before you.

Modi:

Staying there. Okay, everybody's staying in this house. This is a very nice house.

Leo:

Yeah, it wasn't like you know, so what?

Periel:

filthy people can stay in very nice houses. Is that if?

Leo:

someone's hopped with a spoon?

Periel:

Yeah, but they probably have all their shots, no, you think I don't know If you're staying in a it's into the garbage.

Leo:

It's one little like knife mark, like they made one sandwich maybe.

Periel:

Do you clean the sheets before?

Leo:

Oh, the sheets are clean, the towels are clean, yeah, yeah, the whole house is reset the house is completely set, gorgeous, cleaned, wiped down the fridge, the fridge and the pantry. I found this like it was like up here.

Periel:

Would you drink an open almond milk?

Leo:

No.

Periel:

Why not?

Leo:

Because what if they put their mouth on it to drink from it, like sometimes I do at home? What if they?

Periel:

stuck their fingers in the peanut butter? Or worse, what if they stuck their fingers in the peanut butter?

Leo:

Well, I didn't want to say that because I didn't want to make no, but it wasn't in that shape, okay. Um, the peanut butter everyone could weigh in to an airbnb and there's airbnb.

Modi:

If it's closed, you'd use it, but if it's closed, salt and pepper and an airbnb you'd use. That's different you'd use.

Periel:

That's different, different because you don't stick your fingers or a utensil or something.

Leo:

let's see it sparked conversation. Shorts on an airplane.

Modi:

Thoughts.

Periel:

Ever, Is it?

Leo:

okay for men to wear shorts on an airplane. It is not. How about, while we're here, open-toed shoes on an airplane? Absolutely not.

Modi:

Flip-flops.

Leo:

Sandals. I'm going to say this in a loving way.

Modi:

People who wear shorts on airplanes are people who are usually… People who are very… I don't know the right way to say this, uh-oh.

Leo:

Just say it and I'll fix it. A memoir by Leo Vega.

Modi:

They're heavy people. People who are heavy wear shorts.

Leo:

How are you going to?

Modi:

fix that.

Leo:

I feel like that's fine. You're saying that's usually heavier people who tend to do that. I don't think that's true.

Modi:

And they're sitting there and they got to the plane.

Leo:

Okay, now what's happening is your back thigh. Sweat is marinating into this pleather. United Airlines flight seat Absolutely wrong. If I see you walking through an airport with shorts and open-toed shoes. It's such a red flag. If you have TSA pre-check, it should be revoked from you. That's what I feel You're a danger to society.

Modi:

It's that much. But it blows my mind because they're like, I'm like, oh, they must be flying to Aruba and they're like they want to land already, but they're flying with us from Newark to Seattle.

Periel:

And they're in shorts. Wait a second. What about not putting your shoes on on the plane to go to the bathroom?

Modi:

Okay, different beast on another level, do people do that. Oh, yes, oh yeah, people do that and, by the way, the floor of the bathroom is full of urine. I might have to leave.

Leo:

Full of urine. No, do you know what that's so crazy? Because yesterday I was at Equinox and someone in the locker room walked straight out of the shower, towel around their waist, to the urinalinal barefoot and peed. You know, the whole two-foot radius around the urinal is just piss Like there's just wet floor of urine. They're just standing in a puddle of piss peeing in a towel. I was like, oh my God, Can I add to that? What Do you do that sometimes?

Modi:

No, I would never. I would sometimes, I would never I would never, ever.

Leo:

That's in front of the urinal. It's all fishy. It's all fishy. I remember what's wrong with us, why can't we aim.

Modi:

I remember one time I was I was going in there into the steam room and I saw a guy that was at the at the urinal. Then he was in the steam room next to me. He was massaging his feet and then like also rubbing his face. I was yikes yikes, yikes I was nauseous from I was.

Modi:

I specifically choose the shoes I'm wearing on the airplane based on the ease of which I can slip them on and off to go to the bathroom, because I am peeing four times on a transatlantic flight at least, yeah I, I have, I put I have my shoes that set, so when I get to go to the bathroom I just slip them right in, go to the bathroom and come back, because the floor is literally a even in, like the up in the in business.

Periel:

Of course, I just want to tell you guys that one of my closest friends from childhood is a flight attendant and has been a flight attendant for like 25 years, and the stories that she tells oh, I can't imagine are the most appalling thing.

Leo:

I mean the way that people behave yeah, all rules are out the window somehow when you're.

Modi:

No, it's changed, you guys I don't well you know, but like, flying before 9-11 and flying after 9-11 are two different beasts?

Modi:

Yeah, yes, I'll never forget. One time on an LL flight a hundred years ago, we were sitting in the back and they bring the smoking suckers hopping. It was like it was the smoking section was just like everybody's just to time cigarettes. It was horrible time cigarettes. It was just really grand. They had like kids on their lap. Kids on their lap, like into the I love you, right, wait. But they serve the food and they and they, they like the flight attendants know like let me just leave the food in front of them at least a few more minutes. They can't move.

Leo:

No, no, everybody gets up and brings their tray into the kitchen I have never felt more claustrophobic than when I'm done with my food and the flight attendant hasn't gotten it out.

Periel:

Agreed.

Leo:

I'm like itching until that happens.

Periel:

So here's the question Can you push?

Leo:

the button.

Modi:

No, no, no, no no no, I have done it.

Periel:

I have done it.

Leo:

Yeah if ever. Yes, if I could tell that's what they're doing and they're done serving everyone's eating. And I'm just eating. I just ate faster than everyone. I'm hitting the button you are Get it out.

Modi:

It would take so much for me to hit that button.

Leo:

It would take so much for me to— that's surprising because I feel like we would usually—we would be opposites in this situation. Totally no.

Modi:

I know I'm very good at doing eye contact with the flight attendant eye contact with, with the flight attendant. I'm like, and she'll come over, I'm very good at that. You won't, even when they're even when they're on purpose not making eye contact with the people so what is that?

Periel:

just an emergency button?

Leo:

no, it's for like you need something the the new announcements. If you pay attention on the in-flight safety videos say if you lose your mobile device in your seat, please hit the button and let us know right away, because you know, with the lithium batteries that are in the phones now, that can break and catch on fire. If you like, recline your seat and snap your phone in half.

Modi:

Is that the reason why they do that?

Periel:

But it's different. You guys are always in business or first class. It's very different in the economy.

Leo:

I feel like economy people. This is my presidential platform. Even if you're flying an economy, you have the right to press the flight attendant button you can press it, but like she'll come and stick her middle finger.

Modi:

No one's coming back there. You can press the button.

Periel:

No one's coming to visit you first of all, you have not been in economy in years. Let me tell you somebody who bridges that gap. Yeah, the way that you are the difference between how you are treated in first or business class and economy is so appalling.

Leo:

I know, but I will say I love when I'm getting on like a long flight and there's two separate doors on the plane and they don't have to walk by me Like we get in on the front and they get in on the back and we don't have to walk by me like we get in on the front and they get in on the back and we don't have to sit there and watch everyone walk by us, sneezing on us and then people go.

Leo:

They pay too much for their seats and I'm like tell yourself that, toots, while you're in 30 60.

Modi:

No, people make comments. We fly once a year. You don't need to be, you're okay, we're flying every week no, you guys would have broken backs so let's see, I have some other things that I wrote down.

Leo:

You know, when you go to the hotel gym and there's like a bowl of fruit there, who's eating that? Are you eating that?

Modi:

it's usually like a green apple it's a green apple, it's a green apple and like a banana.

Leo:

Are people eating those, or is that?

Modi:

banana yes. Provisional apple no. A banana yes.

Leo:

I've even had tangerines but okay, so your answer is yes, open skin fruit who's eating at the hotel gym? Well, that's another, so that's my. Why is there fruit in the hotel we take?

Modi:

water from there. They offer you water, we have water.

Leo:

Water is different.

Modi:

But if one time I had a tangerine, it just was nice, it was closed, and then I opened it. Tangerine and then a banana, a hundred percent.

Periel:

But not like an apple or a pear. Well, weigh in, guys. Weigh in. What about your valuables? Do you put it in the safe?

Leo:

Yes, yeah, we put our valuables in the safe.

Modi:

Well, if you're in the hotel gym. You're going from your room down. What valuables.

Periel:

No, no, no, Just in general.

Leo:

Do we utilize the safe in the hotel?

Periel:

Yes.

Leo:

Oh yes, A hundred percent. You think that people might steal? I didn't do that before traveling with you, just because maybe I didn't have nice things.

Modi:

but passport and watches.

Leo:

No, but even my passport I was like it's in my backpack.

Modi:

If we're in some city where it's like don't walk out with your nice watch then I'm like, um, where are you going? We were. I don't know. There's places you don't want. They tell you don't do it la. They said don't walk with you, not with a nice watch outside. There's a whole bunch of places.

Periel:

Now they're like you look, I know my friend just got his rolex stolen in barcelona yeah, like that, like that in barcelona.

Modi:

I'm not gonna walk around with a watch it's crazy yeah, um go ahead.

Leo:

What's something in your diet that, if you diet that, if a doctor tomorrow was like you have to cut this out, would be really hard for you. Like if I went to the doctor tomorrow and they were like we ran some tests and actually you can't have one more bite of peanut butter or you'll drop dead, I think it might be a problem for me Is there anything in your diet?

Periel:

Of course, his answer is no.

Modi:

No, what about you? Coffee, coffee, coffee, obviously, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, coffee would be very hard.

Leo:

See.

Modi:

Coffee.

Leo:

I'm emotionally attached to coffee as well, but I think if in that situation I could drop it, no, we'd manage, You'd figure it out. So coffee.

Modi:

But you think most people's answer is coffee.

Leo:

I think most people's answer is going to be coffee. Yeah, but yeah, I think that was sparked by the question of the peanut butter in the Fire Island house. Oh, spilled wax on pants at restaurant question mark. Wow, okay, here's the situation. I'll set the scene for you. It was my birthday dinner. We're at a nice restaurant. It's me, modi and two of my best friends. We're having a great time. We've ordered cocktails, we ordered a lot of food. I'm wearing a very cute outfit. The pants cost $300. I'm only saying that because it's relevant to later on in the story. About midway through the meal, the waiter walks by and knocks a giant votive candle that had been burning for hours, the whole night. So it's like completely liquid, all down my pants. Like completely all down my pants, like I didn't get burned, but like the pants are ruined. There's no saving the pants. He was like oh my god, I'm so sorry.

Leo:

and then he brought out some wine pairings, toings, as a sorry, a taste of wine for all four of us, it wasn't like a glass of wine, it was like the one where they give you where they pour for you to make sure that you're okay with the bottle before they pour the rest. You know like that amount. And we weren't even really drinking, we weren't even drinking wines. It was like kind of odd but odd. But I was like okay, fine, uh-huh, and I didn't make a big deal about it. And then I was like maybe they'll take something off the check. They didn't nothing. So then I and it wasn't, it was, it was an expensive check, it was like a nice meal, okay, and then so then I called the restaurant the next day and I was very calm.

Leo:

I wasn't like you know I would. I didn't Karen out on them, I was just like, hey, I ate at your restaurant. Last night the meal was great, great. I was with some friends, I was telling my birthday. I just want to let you know I had this situation with my pants and he couldn't be less interested.

Modi:

We have a good dry cleaning here in Morris, Connecticut.

Leo:

Yeah, why don't you bring it to? My dry cleaner. I'll see what I can do.

Periel:

Why aren't you saying the name of the restaurant?

Modi:

I said Because we might be going back there. This is in Connecticut and there's a delicious restaurant, but they're not catching the again.

Periel:

Are they cleaning your pants and giving it back?

Leo:

to you there's no saving the pants. There's no saving the pants, then they should replace the pants. Should they replace the pants? Of course they should replace the pants. At the very least they should have like comped a lot of the meal.

Periel:

Or offer you to come back for a meal right, that's what I was expecting.

Leo:

I thought he would be like it's outrageous, hey I can't retroactively do this or that, but like, let me know next time you're coming in I'll take care of you a thousand percent the thing he didn't have it.

Modi:

He didn't have it. No, no. Well, who did you talk to the manager?

Periel:

okay, well the manager's an idiot and you need to talk to the owner and, by the way, if he had said I'm so sorry, I'm going to offer to buy you a new pair of pants, you probably would have said no, like I'm not going to make you guys do that, like I don't want the waiter to have to.

Leo:

Oh no, accidents happen have to pay.

Periel:

So that's what I'm saying.

Leo:

But I was just like am I crazy, or is this not how this should have been handled? No, you need to keep this up.

Periel:

No, no, that's infuriating actually.

Modi:

It was not like it was the entire thing spilled all over.

Leo:

It was a lot of wax, it's a lot of wax, and it's like seeped in and it's already oily.

Periel:

I've already given my answer, so that's it so that that's what we do.

Leo:

Folks. What do you do in that situation? Do you send them the dry cleaning bill? Do?

Modi:

you understand this audience is going to. This audience will pull right up in front. Shove this thing in the manager's face, do?

Leo:

you see what this is. Do you send them the pants in the mail with an ominous note? What do?

Periel:

you do, I would bring the pants. I would actually show up there with the pants.

Modi:

And do you know what I will? The pan. And do you know what I will I will next time we go there or maybe to a restaurant next door and just bring this to him. We were gonna come here, but this is what happened last time you shouldn't do that.

Leo:

Comedian modi shows up at the etiquette restaurant it was a very nice restaurant. I mean, it was delicious so I want to go back.

Modi:

So I have to be nice but also you don't want to feel like how do they not get it?

Periel:

No, that's insane.

Leo:

I think that's all the random thoughts that popped in my head that I had written down.

Modi:

That's good. That's what's jiggling around your head we.

Leo:

I mean, did we cover Connecticut on here at all?

Modi:

No, avoid it. Avoid maybe next time.

Leo:

Okay, redacted yeah redacted.

Modi:

Let's say we are on tour. We are on tour um. By the time, this is should I read that?

Leo:

should I read the cities? Like really fast, it's a lot of cities go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

Modi:

modilifecom for all the tickets. Find a city near you, find a city near your friends. Send a city near your friends, send them the link. Be the friend that brings the friends to the comedy show that just creates Mashiach energy. We are in Houston, austin, baltimore, hartford. Can I?

Leo:

just let me do it in chronological order.

Modi:

Okay, chronological order.

Leo:

Okay, zurich, london, skokie Two shows in Skokie, illinois, st Paul, minnesota, montreal, Quebec two shows, denver, colorado, new York, at the Beacon Theatre three shows, that's a big deal, guys two sold out the 17th still has tickets available.

Leo:

December 17th Beacon just to reiterate, that's December 17th, 18th, 19th at the Beacon Theatre in New York City. Then we're in Austin, texas, in January, followed by Houston, phoenix, arizona in early February. Tampa, then Fort Lauderdale We've added three shows in Fort Lauderdale. We might be adding another show in Fort Lauderdale. Those tickets are flying. That's February 16 and 17, right now, hold on, I have to hit load more on your website. That's how many dates we have. Then we go back to London for the Palladium again on February 27, for everyone who couldn't get tickets the first time. Then we're in Baltimore on March 2nd. Las Vegas, march 8th. Los Angeles Everyone's been asking me for LA tickets. This is your chance. We're at the Wiltern Theater March 20th, then Hartford, connecticut, march 23rd. Pittsburgh, buffalo, and finally finishing off in Toronto on March 30th at the Queen Elizabeth Theater wow.

Modi:

Yes, that is the pause for a laughter comedy tour again. All tickets are available on modilifecom. I hope all of you had an amazing holiday or having amazing holidays. Thank you very much for listening. Thank you to our sponsors, a&h and Weizen Luxemburg, and everybody. Lots and lots of Mashiach energy. Enjoy it and create it. Thank you, bye, bye.