It Doesn't Matter

Episode 142: The AHM crew discuss whether or not it matters if things are factually accurate, the dangers of flying, the joy of skiing, mayhem in The White House and if Harry Potter made Leo gay. Also, Purim!

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Transcript

Welcome to the show

Speaker 1 0:03

Welcome to. And here's Modi. And we're back with and here's Modi, with Periel and Leo at the studio. Hello, hello, we are currently on the Pause for Laughter tour, traveling all over the world with the show.

Speaker 1 0:26

This hour and 15 minutes is amazing, and recently I was going to go do a show and someone said they wanted material from the old hour, which I'm just not doing now, and then I realized I don't even know the material from the old hour. So I went on the treadmill and watched Know your Audience, my last special, which I literally forgot all the jokes from because I haven't been doing any of them and I forgot how good it was. I forgot those of you who it's been a while or need to see something funny. Go to Know your audience. It's available now for free on youtube and on amazon, but but, uh, watch it, share it. It's just a great, it's a great time. And uh, I, I can't believe I forgot. I forgot the jokes, like I forgot the setups and uh and the jokes themselves because I've been so busy with this new hour.

Speaker 2 1:26

I love the idea of somebody casually walking by you at the gym and seeing you watching your own special.

Speaker 1 1:35

I bet every comic watches their some set or some of themselves when they're on.

Speaker 2 1:41

Were you cracking up.

Speaker 1 1:42

There were moments I was cracking up, I just forgot how and I knew the joke was going to come, but it was just like it was just so, so crazy to cause. I was doing that hour for two, for two, two, two, two years.

Speaker 2 1:55

Yeah.

Speaker 1 1:55

And then now this one is just like a completely sucked me into it. I don't't think about any of those jokes, Um, but people ask for that stuff and I'm just you know, but it's a whole, it's a whole new hour. We just people would just come to a show. We watched that. This is a whole new hour. It's a whole new hour and 15 minutes and it's amazing and it's great, and that's it. That was my original, my, my, my offshoot thought for the podcast.

Speaker 1 2:31

And on this tour, how often are you guys on planes, would you say.

Speaker 3 2:32

We're often on planes. In 2024, we took 63 flights, wow.

Speaker 1 2:36

Yeah.

Speaker 3 2:40

And none of them turned upside down.

Speaker 1 2:41

Baruch Hashem, baruch Hashem, could you imagine being on that plane?

Speaker 2 2:51

I've been practicing ever since. I been like with the seat belt. How?

Speaker 3 2:53

do you release? How do you do that? Why would you want to release? Well, once you have to release, to get off the plane, okay.

Speaker 2 2:56

So, first of all, I fly, you know, often not nearly as often as you guys fly, but I'm I get a little bit nervous.

Speaker 3 3:03

I take valium, not like I don't love to fly, and I take valium because I love valium, not because I don't like flying he tastes the biscotti cookies.

Speaker 1 3:12

That's what he takes from. There's a cookie that yeah, what's it? Called biscott.

Speaker 3 3:16

Those little biscotti. I know those little um. Yeah, what's your airline?

Speaker 2 3:21

delta yeah, me too. So I um, do you get nervous when there's turbulence?

Speaker 1 3:27

no, actually no no, not at all I was, I swear to god.

Speaker 2 3:32

I flew back from mexico late last night and I there was turbulence and I just kept thinking about the two of you to calm myself down no one, no, no plane has like ever crashed because of turbulence, if that makes sense okay, but none of this is like logic or reasonable right right, you're just shaking.

Speaker 1 3:53

You're just your wings are shaking those wingspans on the plane have 20 feet, they can. They can go up and up and down yeah and it only goes the most like it's three feet, three feet, so it's not a big deal.

Speaker 3 4:07

My seatbelt I am listening to that seatbelt sign these days. I am not going to be caught with my forehead in someone's storage bin.

Speaker 2 4:18

Oh my God. Based on the news, Can you?

Insights on upcoming performances

Speaker 1 4:20

imagine being on that flight. I can't.

Speaker 2 4:23

Could you imagine being offered like 5,000 miles sky miles? I on that flight. I can't. Could you imagine being offered like 5,000 miles sky miles? I think that's what they offered everyone.

Speaker 1 4:30

I think they gave them. That's it.

Speaker 3 4:32

I think they gave them 5,000 sky miles, I'm pretty sure someone gave me that recently because the screen on my seat wasn't working.

Speaker 1 4:37

Right, they have. The flight attendants have this little little phone that's like off the flight phone. And they can just come over and go. I'm so sorry we didn't have it, but I can just add you know, just give you 5,000 points or whatever amount of points it is, and it's like it just makes it easier and you feel like you got something.

Speaker 2 4:56

Totally.

Speaker 1 4:57

And it prevents you from having to send an email.

Speaker 2 5:00

But the chutzpah of getting that.

Speaker 3 5:03

I read that they were giving them like $30,000. Oh, but maybe what you read is right.

Speaker 2 5:09

I don't believe anything on the internet. I might have just made that up.

Speaker 1 5:11

It doesn't matter Whatever, it doesn't matter, it's our podcast. It doesn't matter yeah. And when we say things that are wrong, it's okay. It doesn't matter it should be, it doesn't matter. Do you think we did?

Speaker 2 5:24

it wrong.

Speaker 1 5:24

Oh, and I sang some song the other day on the thing I said one of the words wrong and everybody had what to say. Everybody became a scholar.

Speaker 3 5:33

Welcome to, and it Doesn't Matter with Modi, leo and Ariel, because guess what?

Speaker 1 5:38

It doesn't matter.

Speaker 3 5:39

Whose line is it? Anyway, points are made up.

Speaker 2 5:43

You know what I bought at the airport. I haven't decided who I'm giving it to yet. I bought a Donald Trump chocolate bar.

Speaker 1 5:50

Ew, I saw those. We saw those at a gas station. They're so funny. It's funny, but it's great that his fans love him. It's insane.

Speaker 2 5:59

I'm like I'm going to give this to somebody. Somebody is going to be happy to get this. It's so ridiculous. Like who said we're making Trump chocolate bar? I mean, did you ever see a chocolate bar with any other president on it?

Speaker 1 6:17

No, but I'm up for it If he can sell merch sell it.

Speaker 3 6:22

They could have done Obama, but it would have been milk chocolate. You know what I mean. Oh folks, let's would have been milk chocolate.

Speaker 1 6:26

You know what I mean. Oh folks, let's not get racy here.

Speaker 3 6:30

Is it really that racy? It's not that racy. Guess what, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 2 6:35

The world is on fire.

Speaker 1 6:37

Planes are falling out of the ground.

Speaker 2 6:38

That's what people are getting worked up about.

Speaker 1 6:40

Someone was telling me you know, everything's going on now with this administration is going to be like a TV show. I go it is, it's on, it's already on, it's already on. You have to choose if you're watching this, this, these episodes of this season of complete mayhem in the White House, but it's wild.

Speaker 3 7:01

And it's just so. I'm not keeping up with any of it, I'm not keeping up with it If I have to see Elon Musk's dumb face one more time on my screen.

Speaker 2 7:08

I'm more sick of him than Trump.

Speaker 3 7:10

honestly, For sure he's so annoying. Hey, he's not even American. Why is he allowed all the security clearance?

Speaker 2 7:21

I think, Not a fan.

Speaker 1 7:23

You know, Jackie Mason had an amazing line. He said they should fire all the senators. This is the biggest country making the most money. We haven't shown a profit in years, you know, because they should put them on commissions. That was like his lunch.

Speaker 3 7:37

That's called kickbacks and bribery.

Speaker 1 7:38

It's, it's it's, he's cleaning up. We have friends and you have friends too who go go to work and do nothing. They go, they sit at a job, it's mostly us. No, you and I don't, but we don't pretend no, when Leo goes into work mode, it's it's. All Emails are answered, things are taken care of and done. He's not sitting at a desk or a cubicle. God forbid pretending to be busy.

Speaker 3 8:03

I tried that.

Speaker 1 8:04

It didn't go well, that's not a normal thing. So there are people who do nothing all day. They're giving some assignment that takes them 15 minutes, but they give them three weeks to do it.

Speaker 3 8:14

Do you remember that time?

Speaker 2 8:21

Do you remember when I did?

Speaker 3 8:22

that job while I was still also managing you, but I was like I think I need a real job too, just to, like, keep me sane. I remember that and I lasted what like three months no, not even.

Speaker 1 8:28

I don't remember so clearly it wasn't that long ago.

Speaker 3 8:31

I remember the moment I realized because it was like a corporate environment. Everyone has these like made up job titles you got like a cute prada folder, I remember yeah, and I, I, the moment I realized I felt like I was on the truman show, like the moment I realized that no one was doing anything and everyone was just like sending, everyone was just sending tasks to each other back around in a big circle of nothing, that I was just like, oh, so he wants to clean that up.

Speaker 1 9:02

He, he knows that there are people doing not, I don't know. I'm I'm watching from the headlines and from all that. I'm just saying he wants he's obviously he's flamp, not flamboyant, but he's um, he's over the top and whatever and he's talking about. He talked about his security detail. That day was pretty funny, but but he, he knows that there are people doing nothing at jobs that they're being paid for.

Speaker 2 9:27

That might be true, but he's so culty. That's the part that he's.

Speaker 1 9:34

You guys, are we talking about Musk or Trump?

Speaker 2 9:38

I'm talking about Elon Musk.

Speaker 1 9:39

I'm telling you right now Are we talking about Musk or Trump? I'm talking about Elon Musk. I'm telling you right now and the time I talked about it the power is so much stronger than money. They are so high on power right now?

Speaker 3 9:49

Yeah, totally, elon's just high on ketamine. Have you seen that interview?

Speaker 1 9:53

No, I saw the interview.

Speaker 3 9:55

He's needing to do ketamine and at the inauguration he was like high.

Speaker 1 10:00

So I saw the same interview and he said that he's done it a few times. He does it once in a while. He doesn't say he does it often. He said it's been a long time since he's done it. Yeah, I don't believe any of that.

Speaker 3 10:11

Yeah, I believe, because I'm the same way, because I'm the same way. He's high on ketamine, he's not, he's autistic, he also has like a Toddward dangling off of his head.

Speaker 1 10:20

Yeah, so it. But because that's going to bring press, it's going to be you guys. They are so high on power.

Speaker 3 10:26

But if we can get stuff done, people don't like it when we talk about this, so yeah, we should, but whatever.

Speaker 2 10:33

I hope they just, they don't, no, they don't and they're going to say, is just for Trump, is just to keep getting the hostages out.

Speaker 1 10:45

Yeah. That's all I have to say and let me tell you something I never do political humor and because of Musk and Donald Trump, I've been getting some very parved jokes. Now, I'm not trying to hit any side, but very good jokes. I don't want to ruin it because they're in the special and that they're in the act now, but it's like it's really good stuff.

Speaker 2 11:07

I've seen you do it at the cellar. It's hilarious.

Speaker 1 11:09

Yeah, but there's more to that and it's just so. That was it. I forgot why we got on this topic.

Speaker 2 11:17

We'll get off the topic just as quickly as we got on. I just got back from club med, oh that's right, you told me I just went to club med for the first time in my life for a week and I have a lot of uh constructive feedback for the organization. But we can save that for another time.

Speaker 3 11:33

You said you went in mexico we went yeah but there are club meds all over the world, correct?

Speaker 1 11:39

Oh yeah, they're still around.

Speaker 2 11:41

Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 11:42

Hands up.

Speaker 3 11:44

Is it supposed to be nice or is it like a family thing?

Speaker 2 11:47

So some of the I don't know what it's supposed to be it looked, I don't know.

Speaker 3 11:51

I saw from your stories little glimpses. Here and there it looked like you were in a nice place. It was nice, it's not like a luxury thing, like a, like a, come on. So there are.

Speaker 2 12:04

No, no, so there are certain club meds that are gorgeous, luxury, pristine, incredible, like. And then there are other Club Meds that are, I think, less so and it's a family thing, right, like you go with kids.

Speaker 3 12:25

There's activities for them and stuff, yes, and it's amazing, it really it's great.

Speaker 2 12:32

I have whatever. We don't need to get into it now. We can. Okay, maybe we will.

Speaker 1 12:38

Do your doors have locks on them?

Speaker 2 12:40

Yeah, your doors have locks. Do your doors have locks?

Speaker 1 12:42

It's a little bit yeah, yeah, yeah, the one I went to didn't have what.

Speaker 2 12:45

Listen the kids, you drive on to a resort and basically it's like the Disneyfication of culture, because you're not Everything's geared for the children. Yeah, so you have like all different archery, trampoline, mini golf. There's like a whole water park and the kids are taking these little golf carts by themselves.

Speaker 3 13:13

So it's and the parents are pounding pina coladas. Yeah.

Speaker 2 13:18

I you know I don't really drink that much, so I wasn't pounding pina coladas. I also got know I don't really drink that much, so I wasn't pounding pina coladas. I also got like some sort of like. I don't know I have like rabies or something.

Speaker 3 13:28

I got some really rabies from what I don't a raccoon?

Speaker 2 13:33

I don't know, I have a raccoon touch you no, but I do have like a really serious disorder on my leg that I sent to my doctor. Oh my God.

Speaker 1 13:45

Were you in the water? Did you get like a stingray or something?

Speaker 3 13:48

That's a jellyfish.

Speaker 2 13:50

No.

Speaker 3 13:50

You know you're supposed to pee on it.

Speaker 2 13:52

No, I did not. I did. We did go to a-.

Speaker 3 13:54

Would Guy pee on it for you if you asked him?

Speaker 2 13:56

Yeah Guy would pee on it. Anyway, even if I didn't yeah him, yeah guy would pee on it anyway, even if I've been. Yeah, um, we did go swim with dolphins, which is captive dolphins, no, in the wild, yeah, of course captive problematic.

Speaker 3 14:12

Someone didn't watch blackfish it's definitely problematic those dolphins weren't having a good time.

Speaker 2 14:24

I didn't watch Blackfish and it is. I have no doubt that it's problematic. I also have no doubt that those dolphins are being very well taken care of, whether or not they should or shouldn't be in that thing, and I got like some cancerous disease.

Speaker 1 14:41

I don't think you're supposed to be swimming with dolphins. Chas v'sholom, first of all Chas v'sholom.

Speaker 2 14:45

Fine, thank you. No, no, no, I'm going to show you a picture of this.

Speaker 3 14:48

Maybe you should.

Speaker 1 14:54

But we were talking. One of my first comedy tapes was at Club Med we were at. My friend Dadani said let's do a gay weekend. This is over 30 years ago. I just began doing comedy and I really didn't have a good tape. And there was the night where the people go up and do their show.

Speaker 3 15:16

That a one man open mic night. Open mic night At Club Med, at Club.

Speaker 1 15:20

Med.

Speaker 2 15:20

Where.

Speaker 1 15:21

I don't remember. This is 30 years ago. I'm sure they changed the place up since then.

Speaker 2 15:26

No, but like which Club, med what country?

Speaker 1 15:28

In Cancun, in Cancun. This is the Club Med that you were.

Speaker 2 15:33

A hundred percent.

Speaker 1 15:35

Did you play with the Dolphins? I didn't touch a dolphins and it was. It was. So the whole thing was gay, the entire Gay. It was gay. It was a gay weekend at Club.

Speaker 3 15:44

Med, I would have been like I love that.

Pause for Laughter recap

Speaker 1 15:46

I would have loved that one. And we were there and we met with some, we, we, we, we went and we met people. We became friends. It was like a nice thing. And Besides the open mic night show, they had Michael Feinstein the piano guy singer Michael Feinstein, I think that's his name. He has a night at the Carlisle Hotel. He's a big deal. And they also had Coco the drag queen, coco Patrice Coco.

Speaker 3 16:18

Coco Patrice. No, miss Coco, miss Coco, yeah, I know her Something Coco, coco, coco.

Speaker 1 16:22

No Miss Coco.

Speaker 3 16:24

Miss Coco yeah.

Speaker 1 16:24

Something Coco, yeah, and it's really I should know the name, but that was that. And then I did the set and it was taped and I got the tape and that was a tape that I used as a tape I used to to get my spot at at the comedy cellar.

Speaker 2 16:37

Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 16:39

It was taped over there.

Speaker 2 16:40

Do you still have that? Yeah, we have to cut that into this I think I had.

Speaker 1 16:46

Oh my God I was. So I had no act. And then I asked for lights and began to speak to the people. I was doing crowd work. I was doing crowd work in there and I was obviously I'd been there for a week so I'd seen people and what they're doing, and we all have experienced the same food and the same beach and the same pool and the same everything. So it was easy to do it, but I remember that was the first tape I ever had.

Speaker 2 17:10

And who taped it for you?

Speaker 1 17:13

Back then it was a big VHS tape. You can buy it, Just like you buy pictures of your family.

Speaker 2 17:17

You can still buy it. They're still extorting you.

Speaker 1 17:19

Yeah, I'm sure they are, but otherwise club meds. The other ones I went to were all ski club meds.

Speaker 2 17:27

Right, so yeah.

Speaker 1 17:28

And then all I remember is at night you go there and they had that one song Hands up, baby, hands up, give me your heart, give me, give me your heart, give me, give me hands up, oh la la are you a skier?

Speaker 2 17:45

I used to be a huge skier, yeah really big time so you would go to club med with who like. Why would you go?

Speaker 1 17:51

to my parents. We were a ski family, we skied. That was it. And then I skied on my own and vacations I would go skiing, and then now I just I feel it's too dangerous to be doing that.

Speaker 2 18:01

It is Do you ski?

Speaker 1 18:04

I have skied. Yeah, we were on a trip one time and we went skiing together. I've skied like three times.

Speaker 2 18:10

I feel like it's really worth the risk.

Speaker 3 18:13

It's now worth the risk. I have got a low center of gravity.

Speaker 1 18:19

I love skiing and I was crazy. I love skiing and I was crazy. I was younger and I was like I would do the moguls flying in the air. I didn't care anything.

Speaker 2 18:27

Now it's like it's not worth the risk.

Speaker 1 18:29

By the way, it was like I'm talking about this in the show now, you know, with old people and falling, yeah. You know, should I be doing this? Should I be doing this? Should I be doing this?

Speaker 2 18:42

The answer is no, because you will break something.

Speaker 1 18:46

No, you can go slowly, you can go that, but okay. But if you break something, are you okay for a while.

Speaker 1 18:51

No, not with skiing, Like I feel like it's really Someone who has a corporate job and he sits in a computer all day. He breaks his leg during his ski vacation. It's not going to affect him. He's going to go sit there in front of his computer and look at the Dow Jones. Okay, someone who has to get on stage, walking on stage, does not need to chance having a broken leg. It's stand-up comedy, not roll-up-to-the-microphone comedy. So that's why I don't ski. I think it's a wise decision.

Speaker 1 19:24

Yeah, I think so too, although the outfits are cute I was killed, I killed I'm sure I killed and we also, when last time we went skiing it was t-shirt weather so like, and you know biceps everywhere and it was really hot and we had cute helmets and goggles and everything it.

Speaker 2 19:38

It's cute, that's cute. Although you know I'm a beach girl, Put me in the water, I don't want. It's like so much stuff and you have to schlep with the.

Speaker 1 19:48

The amount of schlepping for skiing and the money is insane, it's insane, it doesn't stop. You know, you get the gloves and the lip balm and that balm and this balm, and your face always comes out all looking crazy after the ski trip, whereas you can just grab a bathing suit and go on a beach that's right yeah, but it's um, it's a high.

Speaker 1 20:08

Skiing is a high when you're when you're going down that mountain, the day's perfect and the snow's conditions are amazing and it's a high, it's a high look, I don't know, I don't need a 250 pair of gloves it's that. And then there's the opera, the after ski. Yeah, you show up with the outfit. You gotta do a turtleneck moment. You know a nice little and you're everyone's exhausted and you're in some crazy altitude that a sip of wine you're already drunk, so it's uh your feet are like frostbitten.

Speaker 2 20:41

It's just not the boys like to do it. I'm always like call me when you're done.

Speaker 1 20:46

No, no, I, I get it. It's such a an amazing high, but it's I just right now. We don't. Right now.

Speaker 2 20:53

It's not a high I'm chasing yeah, I'd rather see you on a yacht than I would rather always be on a yacht.

Speaker 1 20:59

yes, I would rather always be on a yacht.

Speaker 3 21:00

yes, sir, yes, I hope we're not keeping you awake, I'm just letting you guys talk about skiing.

Speaker 2 21:09

Okay.

Speaker 1 21:10

Anyway, we're done talking about skiing.

Speaker 3 21:12

You complain when I cut you off too much, and then when I let you get your words out, you look at me like Are your words out?

Speaker 1 21:20

I'm done, my words are out.

Speaker 2 21:23

that was my take on ski okay, do you want to read some Modi moments questions?

Speaker 3 21:29

I don't feel like there's any other good ones in there you don't.

Speaker 1 21:32

I feel like you had good ones there.

Speaker 2 21:36

I thought I liked. How did you pick up Yiddish? I know you've touched on that before, but that seemed.

Speaker 1 21:42

There were better questions you had there.

Speaker 2 21:43

What was it like growing up in the five towns on Long Island?

Speaker 1 21:50

What was it like growing up in the five towns on Long Island? Much different than it is now.

Speaker 2 21:54

Okay.

Speaker 1 21:56

Now it's Borough Park. It's all religious. When I was there it was very cute and very not religious and it was just a completely different vibe. But it's not a question we need to harp on because it's already bored, Leo.

Speaker 2 22:09

Okay, what was it like where you grew up?

Speaker 3 22:14

Where was it like? Where I grew up? Oh well, I grew up in Pembroke Pines, florida, in Broward County, in South Florida, and I gave it a shout out. At all of the Fort Lauderdale shows I said, hey, I have a 954 error code number, like on my cell phones. Everyone loved that. I grew up in Florida, so it's a nice place to be a kid or an old person.

Speaker 2 22:37

Okay.

Speaker 3 22:38

Because, as a kid, you're barefoot, you're outside all year long, you're riding bikes, you're in someone's pool, you're at the beach. There's a lot of that. There's a lot. You can go disney world all the time did you oh yeah, we went to this. We went to disney, not disney world, it is the one, but the one that's in orlando, because there's disney world and there's disneyland and the disney fans get upset when you mix them up. So I don't want to get canceled.

Speaker 3 23:03

But, we had season passes, because it was only like a three hour drive. So like that, like we could just go up there and like spend the day and then like drive back late at night.

Speaker 2 23:13

And that was legal for your parents. Let you do that. It wasn't like scandalous.

Speaker 3 23:20

The Disney people, disneyney, I don't know I mean we did watch veggie tales the whole way up there, but, um, we were allowed to do disney. Harry potter was a different story. We had to warm up to harry potter because it was witchcraft.

Speaker 3 23:37

But oh my god I was eventually allowed to read harry potter, but for a long time I couldn't and I was very upset about it and, like family members, had to talk to my parents and be like. This is like a cultural phenomenon he's missing out on. All his friends are reading it. It's not rich, which they thought it was going to like make turn me into like a satanist or something well, it may have got worse, but it did turn me gay so.

Speaker 2 24:05

And you're married to a rabbi, so good luck.

Speaker 3 24:08

But I have never taken Ari to Disneyland or World or whatever. I think he's too old at this point. I think yeah.

Speaker 1 24:11

We tried it once. He's 11. 11.

Speaker 2 24:14

11 is. I was just like you can go to St Bart or you can go to Disneyland.

Speaker 3 24:19

Oh, he's fine. But if you had to and like somehow, maybe Guy had some work thing going on in Orlando or there was a reason for you to be there.

Speaker 2 24:27

Is it cute?

Speaker 3 24:28

Take him to like Islands of Adventure, like the roller coasters and stuff, not like Disney, disney's for like little kids.

Speaker 2 24:34

I don't want to go on a roller coaster.

Speaker 3 24:36

I'm sure Ari does. I'll take him. I love a roller coaster you do yeah. The Hulk roller coaster and Islands of Adventure in Orlando. Florida is my sh.

Speaker 2 24:48

He never ceases to amaze me With the roller coaster. What's so surprising?

Speaker 1 24:54

Yeah, what the hell? Absolutely. Let me be very clear.

Speaker 3 25:00

Let me be very clear. Me be very clear a roller coaster at a light, at a legitimate theme park I'm not going on anything that's like at a county fair right or like a carnival type thing.

Speaker 2 25:13

No, no, no, no, no, but an established roller coaster yeah, do we have faith in the people that are maintaining these? I think so.

Speaker 1 25:21

Everyone looks like Dave Attell, but no, if it's an established. This is where this roller coaster lives, all year round. It doesn't travel. They don't break it down and rebuild it somewhere else. I would go on that roller coaster Six Flags or something like that.

Speaker 2 25:38

Have you been to Disneyland or whatever itland?

Speaker 1 25:40

or whatever. When we came to america, my mom was trying to figure out what's our vibe and we tried disney and we left in the middle. It was horrible. We thought it was. This is the worst thing ever.

Speaker 2 25:49

This is just absolutely ridiculous and we left his mom was trying to figure out what their vibe was no, no, we, we tried, we went to the cast imagine you're in america with these.

Speaker 3 25:59

You're like what do we do? Like, let's.

Speaker 1 26:02

So one friend said, try Disney. And the other friend said, try you know. We went to the Catskills. We left in the middle of the weekend. My mom hated it.

Speaker 2 26:10

The Catskills, the Catskills. So you left Disney in the middle, came back there.

Speaker 1 26:22

You know, 30 years later or 25 years later, I came back to perform there. Um, so what did she decide? Your vibe was skiing. We were a ski family went to go. We took, went to mount snow. I was on the ski team with the. The high school had a ski team which skied hunter.

Speaker 2 26:31

We, um, you're saying hunter like it's chamonix no, hunter is like upstate new york.

Speaker 1 26:36

You're skiing on ice. It's ice up there anymore, it's just ice, it literally. That could make you what if you skied the New York slopes and stuff? Here there's garbage. When you get to a place like Vail, you're killing it because you've skied on garbage Right right On, like literally on dirt, on black ice. You've skied. You have to make sure that your edges were sharp, so your blades were sharp, so you can dig in. But yeah, that was our vibe, we skied, nothing else made sense.

Speaker 2 27:10

I knew this was going to turn into a ski episode.

Speaker 1 27:14

Yeah, skiing is so hot, it's so hot.

Speaker 2 27:17

Okay, the Hulk roller coaster.

Exploring old material

Speaker 1 27:19

The Hulk roller coaster. Maybe Ari would like that, but don't take him, do you like?

Speaker 3 27:24

I mean, he is kind of body inspiration, yeah.

Speaker 2 27:27

That's what, like jacked, that's what. That's why.

Speaker 3 27:30

I have to start taking some steroids. Oh my God.

Speaker 2 27:32

And turn yourself green.

Speaker 3 27:34

Yeah, I do it temporarily. Look like that. How green are we talking?

Speaker 1 27:41

People know what the Hulk is today.

Speaker 2 27:43

Yeah, of course, isn't there a new movie out?

Speaker 3 27:46

There's always a new movie out and it's played by Mark Ruffalo. That anti-Semite, oh he's anti-Semite, oh he's long. He says questionable things on the internet okay anti-Semite.

Speaker 2 27:57

I was just thinking about how much I'd be calling. Mark Ruffalo you know what?

Speaker 3 28:01

it doesn't matter no, he kind of. I mean they'll. People will write in, they'll let us know what they think.

Speaker 1 28:07

But why did he say that it was anti-Semitic?

Speaker 2 28:09

I'll tell you. I was just thinking about how much I liked it when you bleached your hair. Oh, I'm not allowed to anymore. Why? It makes me look psychotic and I don't think I need any help in that department. That's patently false. It's very cute on you.

Speaker 3 28:27

Don't read it.

Speaker 1 28:30

Don't read it. Don't read it.

Speaker 2 28:31

No, whatever, he had something that someone said okay, yeah, oh, he apologized oh, that was in 1920 in 2021.

Speaker 1 28:39

Okay, whatever I don't care um, you could.

Speaker 2 28:42

I was just thinking if you bleach it, you could do it green and that would be very hulky, maybe for halloween speaking of halloween, yes, and I'm just verbalizing this because maybe and that would be very healthy, maybe for Halloween.

Speaker 3 28:49

Speaking of Halloween and I'm just verbalizing this because maybe there's someone out there listening I want to find a seamstress or a costume designer or someone who can help me for this upcoming Halloween. I'm already planning.

Speaker 1 29:02

What is it?

Speaker 3 29:04

I have two options. One is a very beautiful white Elvis jumpsuit, like I want it to be beautifully done. I don't want it to look like a party city elvis, I want it to be custom made for me. Or a spanish matador, yes hot yeah, but they both have to be done with exquisite attention to detail. Lots of beatings and rhinestones or whatever you have to add to it to make it look fancy.

Speaker 1 29:35

It has to be so good that after the Halloween we frame it. We frame it and hang it. How cute.

Speaker 3 29:40

First of all, I could grow my hair out naturally between now and then to be an Elvis like updo.

Speaker 2 29:46

You could.

Speaker 3 29:48

And like a tight little white jumpsuit with the bell bottom and the v-neck, the big, I'll never look like austin butler. I'm okay with that, but we can try. Did you like austin butler and his rendition of elvis?

Speaker 2 30:02

I didn't, I don't care it was great.

Speaker 3 30:04

Do you know what I'm talking about?

Speaker 2 30:05

yeah, I know exactly what you're talking have you seen the tiktok video of some.

Speaker 3 30:09

You know those annoying tiktokers who are on the street and they like stick little microphones in people's face Like what are you wearing today? Yeah, how much do you pay in rent? Yeah, one of them.

Speaker 2 30:19

I don't rent, I own.

Speaker 3 30:20

Yeah, I don't rent.

Speaker 2 30:20

Do you want to come see?

Speaker 3 30:23

One of them went up, Baz Luhrmann the director. Like legendary director, photographer, multi-hyphenate, I started asking him like about movies and they had no idea who he was. Yeah.

Speaker 2 30:39

Like in the middle of the interview.

Speaker 3 30:40

He like moves her so that the sun is hitting them better, and I was like see, always, always working.

Speaker 2 30:44

That, um, I didn't see that movie, but I didn't see the.

Speaker 3 30:49

Baz Luhrmann Elvis movie. No, but he was amazing.

Speaker 2 30:52

I mean, I saw a little bit like I know that he did like an incredible yeah he's still stuck in that character that can't undo it, he can't, he can't get it out of him.

Speaker 3 31:01

His voice is like stuck, like that now no way yeah, I don't think like actually physically literally. Think like actually physically literally, but I think for him I how do you do interviews now? Normally everyone's like so enamored with his like deep elvis voice, like he's like oh, I guess do I love elvis.

Speaker 2 31:19

Like, why do you want to be elvis? Because you like the outfit.

Speaker 3 31:22

Like, oh, because it's like drag for straight people. Elvis was doing drag. He was wearing makeup, little bedazzled outfits, that hair, those hips like Siegfried and Roy no, no, no, no the stuff. The guy ruined Siegfried and Roy oh no, I love Siegfried and Roy.

Speaker 1 31:41

No, Elvis is hot.

Speaker 2 31:44

Elvis is hot. Is Elvis hot? He was hot at one point it was nothing hotter than that. But is that the image that you have, or do you have like the?

Speaker 3 31:54

I always keep the hottest image.

Speaker 2 31:57

Yes, that's nice.

Speaker 1 31:58

Yes.

Speaker 2 31:59

That's Mashiach energy.

Speaker 1 32:00

That's Mashiach? Yeah, I don't think about it.

Speaker 2 32:02

That's always my reference point or not, not true, not true.

Speaker 1 32:09

Oh, we all hit a peak. No, but you, you can. It's at one point you peeking in the different zones where you are no, no, no, that's not true at all talk to me about the matador so the matador?

Speaker 3 32:21

what should I say about?

Speaker 1 32:22

it.

Speaker 3 32:23

I don't know if you've seen but we follow well first of all, let me preface this ethically, I oppose matador. 100 people fighting, that's cruel and unusual to the animals dolphins and don't fight the bulls. However, those looks are sick. I want one.

Speaker 1 32:39

The matador looks are incredible. They're very, very, very tight, they're sewn into the outfit and they have all of their over zucker, their entire, their entire manly manly equipment on one side and it's like wrapped in like a pouch no, it's just like the pants are so tight that it's all on one side, you know how, like ballerinas, have those special things to hold all their junk male ballerinas they kind of it's kind of that going on, but then up here is like very intricate, like things to hold all their junk.

Speaker 3 33:08

Yeah, male ballerinas, they kind of it's like kind of that going on, but then up here is like very intricate, like different colors, like I like the matador better.

Speaker 3 33:15

First of all, it's in your dna and I could get a prop, a sword you could also get a bull I don't want a bull, a cute one, a baby bull, I don't know a real bull, no, I did see a really cute cow on TikTok lately, like a mini, like a micro mini cow you could just carry around for the night Like some unhinged idiot that has those dogs.

Speaker 1 33:38

It's an emotional support cow yeah.

Speaker 2 33:40

And they're like this big. But the thing is is like you've seen Elvis, nobody's I haven't seen like a sick matador, like that's gorgeous.

Speaker 3 33:48

But should it be a matador that like I'm a dead matador, like the bull one, and like I have like kind of chic blood, Like it's not really?

Speaker 1 33:58

No Cause, when you go to whatever party you're going to go to, then, okay, you get there, you hit them with the makeup thing of the blood and then, like now, you have a whole night to be in this stupid thing, and it's not, it's never cute.

Speaker 2 34:12

No, you want. You want sick yeah for the whole night.

Speaker 3 34:14

You can only get in february of in february, would be planning their halloween looks yeah I don't know how we got on that topic, but okay um, that was my fault, that was your fault. It's okay about the hulk. We started talking about the hulk, yeah that's a hot outfit.

Speaker 1 34:31

Also, I didn't do halloween last year because you were getting a colonoscopy oh really, yeah, so you didn't, do you also, you you'll anything to not have to go out? Yeah, you're right, yeah I, I'm actually surprised.

Speaker 2 34:44

I'm like do you guys go out and dress? Do you get dressed up for halloween?

Speaker 3 34:47

this is the thing thing about Halloween and I've said this before, this is kind of a soundbite of mine Halloween and New Year's Eve are amateur hour holidays, meaning it's all these people who don't normally go out, don't normally party, feel pressure or feel this need to cram a year's worth of fun into two nights and it turns out badly for everyone. Everyone drinks too much or does too many things. They try to be too many places at the same time, too many friend group dynamics. People start fighting with each other. It's bad energy.

Speaker 2 35:22

So why are we planning your Halloween costume in February?

Speaker 3 35:30

Because I'm an exception to the rule Is Purim coming up, purim's coming up, and you're actually doing a Purim event. For should I say, yeah, the Stryker Center, striker Center, the Stryker Center, stryker, stryker, stryker.

Speaker 2 35:44

Stryker Stryker Center.

Speaker 3 35:46

I just met her. Yeah, you're doing their Purim event on uh march 13th it is a huge event, a huge uh a place yeah, that's not listed on modi's website, um, but if this, if you're listening to this, I think they're limiting it to members first and then they're opening up, but you can go to their website why aren't you getting into an outfit for Purim?

Speaker 1 36:09

that's a fun holiday it's a very fun holiday. It's um, and you get into the reason I'm getting. It's because you can get into a different character out of your, out of your zone, until you don't even know yourself. It's so layered, the whole Purim thing. I love Purim yeah, it's a fun one. It's a great story.

Speaker 2 36:27

It's a great story.

Speaker 1 36:28

And I'm in it Mordechai the Jew, mordechai the Jew. Oh, that's right, I'm in the story of Purim, and it's Iran, it's Iran.

Speaker 2 36:40

Oh, I was like where did you run?

Speaker 1 36:42

What do you mean? Where did you run?

Speaker 2 36:43

You said Iran.

Speaker 1 36:45

It's Iran. No, it's iran. No, iran was the country that they yes, they wanted to kill all the jews and then they ended up getting killed, and it's just. History keeps repeating itself and no one's on top of it. Um, but purim is an amazing holiday.

Speaker 2 37:00

It's a light one, it's a fun one and you have to give people mishloach manot right, which is right, the gifts you give to blessings.

Speaker 1 37:09

Yeah, I've never been a big on that, but um it's. It's just a fun holiday, just a fun one.

Speaker 3 37:16

I think I was good at those kinds of things. What the what's it called the mish mishloch manot. I wish I was good at like sending those out from modi and leo, just like I wish I was better at sending like thank you notes.

Speaker 2 37:28

I had stationery made, remember like I know, I can I'm amazing at that and I will help you if you really want to send I think a good baby step is.

Speaker 3 37:39

I have cards I should send out to friends of ours who just had babies and this and that I wish I was good at like correspondence, like that well, like if you had, we were invited to that dinner.

Speaker 1 37:49

Yeah, like I should send her a card. Send her a card Just say thank you so much for the night. Yeah, first thing you have to do something like that is get the cards out of the drawer. You have to see them. Oh, yeah, I know they're in a drawer, you're not going to do it, but if you see the address and send it and you're done, it's great.

Speaker 2 38:09

What you have to do is get cute stamps for starters. Yeah, A nice pen that you like writing with.

Speaker 1 38:18

You're kidding.

Speaker 2 38:19

No, I'm not kidding, it's like a it's ceremonial. I mean there's like a whole thing around it. It's not just to scribble off with like a blue Bic pen. So like I thanks.

Speaker 1 38:32

Okay. So when you write the way I write, I have to write it on a piece of paper somewhere else first, and there's only certain pens that I write with that. Then it becomes legible.

Speaker 2 38:42

But you're not going to write it. He's going to write it.

Speaker 3 38:44

My handwriting is atrocious. No, it's not true, it's very good.

Speaker 1 38:48

It's very good, it's very good. It's very bad. Come with me. I understand what you're saying. You're like in the crown when the queen takes her pen out. Yeah and dear Jackie.

Speaker 2 38:57

Dear Winston Churchill.

Speaker 1 38:58

Your Majesty, it has been an honor to serve. Okay, but that's, they know how to spell things.

Speaker 2 39:12

So I have to really just type it out. I will come over and I'm gonna set it up. It's uh, but mishlachmanot is easy because you find a nice bakery and you just give them and how many you're supposed to send to everyone you know six no, you no, not to everyone. You know.

Speaker 3 39:23

You can say, even you know from breads let's say they good Well the only reason I know about this is because Jack Snacks sent us a nice one one year.

Speaker 2 39:33

Oh, so yeah, you can even have Jackie here's 10 addresses, whatever.

Speaker 1 39:38

Jack Snacks. What's the Jack Snacks?

Speaker 3 39:40

J-A-X-S-M-A-X-X. Is it double X at the end or one X?

Speaker 2 39:46

On that note we love Jackman.

Speaker 1 39:48

She, I think, does that we also love her father. Yes, we love her father and mother. Arthur Luxenberg and Randy Luxenberg of White and Luxenberg, our collaborators and partners in this podcast. It's the law firm that not only does well, they do good. Very philanthropical and very a part of fun things like this podcast and also A&H provisions. The number one provision for kosher meets best hot dogs in the world available on kosherdogsnet, with a 30% off of your first purchase when using code. Word MODY. That's it. Did you get Jax's?

Speaker 2 40:34

Jax Snacks on Instagram. J-a-x-x-s-n-a-x.

Speaker 1 40:41

And that's also her website. She sends a beautiful Shalchmanis.

Speaker 3 40:46

Maybe I should post this episode first so people have time to listen before Purim instead of the one we just did.

Speaker 1 40:52

Maybe it's a mitzvah. It's a mitzvah, it's fun, it's good and you're supposed to, when you give it, give it to somebody else to gift us. Did you know about that?

Speaker 2 40:59

Yeah.

Speaker 1 41:00

So when you give your gift to somebody, give it to somebody else oh you're just supposed to keep regifting it.

Speaker 3 41:10

It's kind of a regift. It's the OG regift.

Speaker 1 41:11

I don't like that.

Speaker 3 41:11

Yeah, but it's the way they have. If you give me one, I'm keeping it and I'm going to eat it. Yeah, just letting you know.

Speaker 1 41:16

It's always the worst when you're dieting and all of a sudden the doorbell rings and this insane Mishloch everything you love in the world, and some of them are so big like there's definitely something in there that you love, and they send you jam and they send you this, and there's things that stick around for the whole year and it's such a great. And if anybody wants to send us, we have a PO box. Yeah, we have a PO box. By the way, for the PO box, do you know that I visit the grave of the Lubavitcher Rebbe often?

Speaker 2 41:50

The one in Queens.

Speaker 1 41:52

The one in Queens? Yes, and if you want to send to the PO Box, you can seal it, put it in an envelope and I will bring it with me to the grave and drop it in there for you. Oh, that's nice, yeah, so if you want to send me any note, let me know if you want me to read it when I'm at the grave or just put the envelope in the grave itself.

Speaker 2 42:15

How much free time do you have?

Speaker 1 42:17

I go there whenever I visit my parents or something. It's like 20 minutes for my parents.

Speaker 2 42:22

My husband does this.

Speaker 3 42:24

Yeah, the address for our PO box is listed in the description of every episode.

Speaker 1 42:29

Yeah, so if you want to send anything for me to bring to the grave of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, and what are some things that people might want to write. If they're not familiar, they want to write that someone needs refor shlem or someone needs full healing, that someone's trying to have a baby. They should have more luck and they should have more finances better finance, looking for a husband or a wife.

Speaker 3 42:52

Can I just not to cut you off? Can I just draw a parallel here? Because obviously you pray to God for these things as well, but now you're also asking the energy and the spirit of the Rebbe for help.

Speaker 1 43:05

Yeah.

Speaker 3 43:05

It's kind of like what the Catholics do with saints. Like every saint as a designated thing like this is the saint for lost objects. Saint Anthony, we have that too we have a saint the idea that you can go through someone else's energy to help 100% we have saints we don't call them saints.

Speaker 1 43:32

We have rebbes and big and big, big tzaddikim that we, we visit their grave did you hear me people?

Speaker 3 43:38

oh, no one gave enough credit for khilul hashem the other day, by the way you get a lot of credit.

Speaker 2 43:45

You deserve and get a lot of credit first of all. That's right. I forgot when I lost my. I lost my ring and then you told me that I had to make a donation to that you found your ring.

Speaker 3 44:00

There it is yeah, oh my gosh, that's like okay what is that?

Speaker 2 44:04

what's that organization called? It's like the oldest organization in Israel.

Speaker 1 44:09

Mayor Balhanes.

Speaker 2 44:10

Yes.

Speaker 3 44:11

I caught you. We didn't discuss this, but when we were okay. So we were leaving Florida. We have like a 10 am flight. We're staying in Fort Lauderdale. It's not that far from the airport. We're always early anyway, so we have plenty of time. We leave the hotel. I'm in the Uber. We're not saying a word to each other because we just woke up and we're just chilling.

Speaker 2 44:33

What time is it?

Speaker 3 44:34

It's a 10 am flight, so this had to be like 9 am, like we're heading to the airport.

Speaker 2 44:39

You go to the airport at 9 for a 10 am flight. Whatever it was, I'm just trying to understand 11 o'clock flight 9.

Speaker 1 44:45

It's early, it's just early. We had time.

Revisiting the past with humor

Speaker 3 44:48

As we're pulling up to the airport terminal, like where you get dropped off, to go into the check-in area, I go like this with my wrist and I go, oh, I'm not wearing my watch. And I look at Modi and I go Modi, did you check the safe before we left the hotel? And he was like yeah. I was like oh, no, no, I didn't say it. My watch is in there. And he goes are you sure? I was like I think so. And then I was like so I had to change. The Uber was like, getting ready to drop us off, I had to change our destination address, go back to the hotel. I had already checked out of the room, so god knows what was happening up there. And we're like you could just take something out of the safe and be like, oh, it wasn't there. You know what I mean. So I run up to the room. It's in the safe. But I saw you in the car ride back to the hotel. You were.

Speaker 1 45:44

You were already filling out that little form with the for the lost items exactly, I made a donation of 180 dollars, even though I knew the watch was going to be there to the mayor yes, wow, I'm panicking.

Speaker 3 45:57

I'm like driver turn around. We have to go all the way back. Now it's like morning rush hour starting, so I'm like well, we still have so much time.

Speaker 1 46:04

That's how early we always blah, blah blah.

Speaker 3 46:07

I see him in the corner he's filling, filling out something and I'm like he's probably donating money to that lost items thing, lost items.

Speaker 2 46:14

To the lost and found.

Speaker 3 46:15

We never even talked about it until just now, but I saw you doing that and maybe it worked. Maybe that's why it was still there.

Speaker 2 46:20

Well, obviously it worked.

Speaker 3 46:21

Yeah.

Speaker 2 46:22

Jewish lost and found. Jewish lost and found. What is the prayer that you're supposed to say that you guys told me about?

Speaker 1 46:34

after you land, after you land, before you take off.

Speaker 2 46:37

No, that's.

Speaker 1 46:38

I never heard any prayer.

Speaker 2 46:40

Yes, you did. You're the one who the near-death experience.

Speaker 1 46:42

Yes, oh, bekat ha-gomel.

Speaker 2 46:47

Bekat ha-gomel. Yeah, and you say that when you land.

Speaker 1 46:50

No, first of all, you don't say when you land, you say it when you go to synagogue that Saturday, when you get in Aliyah or during the Torah reading, you say that prayer, but we fly in first, so I don't say it. If you fly in coach, you have to say it. If you fly in business, you don't have to say this prayer.

Speaker 2 47:10

Well, I was flying in first and I I promised I would say it when I got here.

Speaker 3 47:13

It's funny that you say that because statistically, the safest place to survive an air crash is like the back, back part of the plane whatever it is they usually say the plane's going down, everybody's dying. Everybody's dying or everybody's surviving from the plane crashes where people have survived. They weren't in first class, if you come from a near-death experience.

Speaker 1 47:30

That's the prayer you say, and anything, anything, any near-death experience, surgery, any near-death experience colonoscopy nah, but but this is what, this is what. Yeah, this is. It's a near-death experience. You say that, but if you fly in business or first, you don't have to say it yeah, you've been giving a hexer by this is you don't need to yeah a who modi gave a uh stamp of a certification that it's okay.

Speaker 1 48:01

yeah, people, by the way, when I quote things here, I I appreciate you correcting me, but again, this is not this. It doesn't matter. I remembered it from here and from there and the Torah says it was there and here we're just trying to get good vibes out. We're not trying to, we don't care if it's wrong. Yeah, I mean, we don't want it to be wrong in a way that misguides people, but not wrong like if it was in Deuteronomy and I said that it was in. Do you know if it was in deuteronomy and I said that it was in genesis?

Speaker 2 48:33

don't get on my case, um and if they do get on your case, you'll never see it anyway. I don't want to see it.

Speaker 1 48:38

I don't care, you can't get on my case. I don't care what you have, only the good stuff I read. I read, only the good stuff. I don't. I don't care if you're crazy, tigers and suckers. Um, you unwell, those of you who are unwell, um, that's basically it. No, anything else you needed before we go, let's see leo, now that you've checked out with your glasses, um no, I think we're good.

Speaker 3 49:07

ModiLivecom.

Speaker 1 49:08

ModiLivecom for all of your ticket needs for this tour that we are on, which is called Pause for Laughter. And has there ever been more of a time where you need to pause for laughter? People? I see it in the audiences afterwards at the meet and greets. You have to laugh. Find a way to laugh. It's going to help you. It's healthy. Make your friends laugh. Make it's a night, instead of like let's all go to il molino and have uh pasta and they have the best season with. What are you doing? Go to a comedy show. If it's not mine, anybody's comedy show in town. It's such a great way to spend the night with your friends. It really, really is Motilifecom. We are going to be in sold out London, manchester. We have Berlin coming up soon.

Speaker 3 49:59

Berlin's not until November.

Speaker 1 49:59

Yeah, we have Pittsburgh, Las Vegas, LA and shows all over.

Speaker 3 50:10

We had a matinee in Toronto on March 30th that has a lot of tickets left.

Speaker 1 50:12

Yes, so we added Toronto Amazing, amazing town and the show is amazing. We added shows just so people can have some better seats options.

Speaker 3 50:23

Markets like Atlanta, dc Kennedy Center is undergoing a coup right now, so we'll see how that settles out. Seattle, like the northern Vancouver. Those markets are also next on the list to be worked on.

Speaker 1 50:42

Yeah, and we love hearing from you whenever you say where you want us to come and we end up showing up there. So, thank you very much for listening to the podcast and we end up showing up there. So, uh, thank you very much for listening to the podcast or being a part of it. Thank you to our sponsors, thank you to leo and perriel. So really just wonderful working with you and being a part of this whole uh, yeah, this whole and here's modi experience and all of you listening out there. I hope we've provided you with some time to just not have to think, yeah, that's it, bye everybody, Bye everybody.