AND HERE’S MODI

Periel Returns

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Episode 171: Periel returns to the studio to chat about everything from shopping for mezuzahs to Maduro's Nike tracksuit. 

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SPEAKER_02:

And we are live at and here's Modi. Um, we have a special guest in the audience, in the audience, in the studio with us today. Uh, those of you who've been asking what happened to Perriel, she happened. She's right here. She's happening here.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm right here.

SPEAKER_02:

She's right back in the studio uh with Leo as well. And um Yes, she's alive and well. Proof of life. Proof of life. Do you have a newspaper with the date on it?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I'll hold up a picture of Maduro in that outfit.

SPEAKER_03:

Wow. Listen, we we were we were very busy touring. You were building a house. Yes. You were there was a lot going on.

SPEAKER_01:

I've gotten a lot of very sweet messages of what'd they say? Where would happen to you? I was like, they went on tour, like they're traveling around the world.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah. And you were busy too, though. You had a lot going on. You still have a lot going on. That show at the West Side happening.

SPEAKER_01:

West Side hysterical.

SPEAKER_03:

It's good.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's really fun.

SPEAKER_03:

It's really single-handedly building a house.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. Oh, I think I built a house. I'm done for now. It's done.

SPEAKER_03:

So not done.

SPEAKER_01:

It's done until I have to deal with the outside.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

But I want to say that there is something in the air that today is the perfect day for me to see you guys because I spoke to your Mizuza guy this morning.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh. The the guy uh Horowitz.

SPEAKER_01:

No. Who? I can say his name. Uh Moshi. Wow. That's Lieberman. Yes.

SPEAKER_02:

Lieberman, yes, from the Five Towns. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

What's his name? Mo Moshi Lieberman.

SPEAKER_02:

Moshi Lieberman, yeah. From from uh from the five towns. Concierge comes to the house, sets it all up. Amazing.

SPEAKER_01:

Zooms to the house. Maybe for you, he comes to the house.

SPEAKER_03:

For me, he's for you. Oh, that is so funny. Wait, hold on, pause. I had to take my hoodie off because I'm having a heat flash. The mezuzah guy zoomed in to like tell you how to put it up. No, or just to like see how many doors and stuff you get.

SPEAKER_01:

So, first of all, I have no mezuzas yet, which is like kind of a crisis. And then I have this one like in my head, like, oh my God, like like you have to get on this.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So it's been on my list and on my list and my on my list. And then I finally called him and first of all, these things are a fortune.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, yeah, they're not cheap. Mine are f miner mine are a fortune.

SPEAKER_01:

And I'm like, look, I don't know what they are, but I was like, I found them online for like seven dollars a pop.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, but are they seven dollar mazuza? Are you?

SPEAKER_01:

The card in forget the mazuzas. Those are expensive. Like you're gonna get a cloth.

SPEAKER_02:

Let's call it a cloth.

SPEAKER_01:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

Which is which is the parchment that is inside, which is the only thing that's important. I know. I know, but I'm asking. You can put that on with saran wrap. Yeah. And that's your mazuza, but the claf is what's important. The claf has to be a kosher claf, a kosher scroll inside the mazuza. So okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, so there was my life pre-Modi, and then there's my life after Modi, which is you need a mezzuza. You don't want to put a mazuza, you don't have to put a mazuza, but if you want that energy, you know, you should put a mezuza. Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. And if you're gonna do it, do it right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

If you're going to do it, do it right. So I found them online, kosher ones,$55 each.

SPEAKER_02:

That could be that could be that could be real. Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, seems reasonable.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

I get on the phone with Moshi, and he's like, Well, I hate to tell you, but there's fraud in every industry.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

And minimum you're getting out of here at a hundred bucks a pop.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. That is a funny. That's still cheap. It's like a used car salesman.

SPEAKER_02:

No, it's not. It's not at all. Listen. No, no, it's not at all. Let me and let me tell you something. Let me tell you something even more important. On divray que duchant, on things of holy uh uh mm m matter, like a mezuzah, a megilla, uh, a scru uh uh uh anything that's like written or scroll or a kiddish cup, yeah, anything, you're not allowed to negotiate. There's no negotiation. You're allowed you're not allowed to negotiate.

SPEAKER_01:

That's hilarious because he was like the most non-Jewish thing I've ever heard you say.

SPEAKER_02:

You're not allowed to negotiate. That's what makes it special because it's it's a devra que ducha. It's something that's holy, so you cannot negotiate on something that's holy. Let me tell you, like can we operate my comedy act when ask when you call and ask how much is Modi for an event, you are talking about something de vrai que du chat. I'm I'm I'm creating a uh a holy energy that there's no negotiation. Whatever UTA says is what it is. No, there is a way you can say, I'm willing to pay. Let's say you want to buy a Torah. It's$100,000. And and but that so you say I barely want to buy a miscusion. You say to the guy, I I'm willing to pay$80,000. I I'm looking for an$80,000. Don't don't say it's for this one. Say I'm willing to pay$80,000. That's what I that was what my budget for this thing was. He says, I might not have. You can't be like, come on, take that down. No, you can't. It has to be done very gently.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, so what he said was that they also have to be at least five inches. Yes. Because these things are hand-written by uh uh Sofreem in Israel, and he checks every single letter.

SPEAKER_03:

So by the way, just just side note, I've been in that room in Williamsburg, Brooklyn with the Sofream checking the letters. Like I felt like I it was a scene out of Harry Potter. It was insane.

SPEAKER_02:

Leo has been with me.

SPEAKER_01:

So that so we That's what you tried to send me. You told me to take Ari there. Right.

SPEAKER_02:

Which I should. I should take Ari, let Ari see how it's done, how it's how I was like, you think Ari. They have an X-ray. They have an X-ray. Make sure that the that the letters are complete and kosher, and it has to be full left. You can't, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, so anyway, so I found really beautiful mezuzah cases at the Jewish Museum that say the shmah on the outside. They're really nice. Okay, but they're three inches. Moshi told me that I'm not allowed to get a cloth that's smaller than five inches.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

And apparently, according to Moshi, the bigger the scroll, the bigger the blessing from Hashem. There's so many and I was like, do you think Hashem would be willing to split the bill with me and let me get smaller ones that are really nice? And he was like, No.

SPEAKER_02:

No. No. So the reason why it's stronger is because the each letter is like an antenna. If you look, everything has the that yod, like that little Yes, it's like an antenna to bring power of protection and power of everything into your home. So obviously the bigger and clearer the letter is, the better it's gonna be for you. If you got this little thing that's just like so insanely small, and it's and you and now you're rolling it, and you live your your home is in New York, so there's winter, summer, spring, autumn. That those letters uh you know that affects them. The the the the weather affects them. The ink. I I've seen in Houston, Texas, a full letter, because of the humidity, a full letter come off of the parchment because it was so humid. Crazy. Like a lamid came off of the uh one of the letters goes like this, came, it fell off because it was so humid.

SPEAKER_01:

This guy is gonna have to physically come to my house at these prices.

SPEAKER_02:

No, he's going to.

SPEAKER_01:

No, he told me he's gonna zoom with me.

SPEAKER_02:

No, I'm sure he zoomed just to tell you how many you need. Okay, well, but um to put him up and all that. Well, to put him up, you don't you don't really need him, but he to tell you how many he you need and to check where they go. Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Now guys in the background like laying down on the floor. Why? He heard me going. Do you think Hashem would be willing to negotiate like the size of these?

SPEAKER_02:

So so what like probably twelve hundred dollars the whole thing.

SPEAKER_01:

More.

SPEAKER_02:

More, okay.

SPEAKER_01:

And I was like, This is really expensive. And he goes, Listen, you spend whatever you spend on the house, and this is part of that investment.

SPEAKER_02:

I he did my parents' house, he did my house. And I gave him a very nice tip, too. Okay. On top of everything.

SPEAKER_01:

Did he zoom with your parents?

SPEAKER_02:

He came to the house, he set set up shop, okay, right? And he I that's what I'm in the market for.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

But so Tom, that's what you want him to do. Set up shop.

SPEAKER_01:

But your parents live, as he mentioned today, also like five minutes from.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm sure he travels. I'm sure he travels.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. Well, um, so that's that. I do want to say that there is um this artist named Leon Ataf, who is a French Jewish artist who makes the most gorgeous mazuza cases I've ever seen. And I tried to buy one and he was like, Um, go ahead. How much how much does one mazuza case call? Yeah, one mezuza case.

SPEAKER_02:

Depend what is it? Silver, what is it? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01:

I know they're ceramic.

SPEAKER_02:

He they're oh, oh, they can go like for whatever the guy tells me$700. Yeah, but well, I need like 40 of them. So, so first of all, okay, if so I always said to you, you you have to have one that's clear, so you can say the shin daladjud. Shin dalad jud Shomer Dlatot Israel. You know, it's like an energy when you see it, it's more powerful than even when you do the kissing thing. So that's so have a clear one. Anyway, if you're gonna if you're gonna do uh one that's not clear, I have a whole bunch that was sent to me. Uh in the house, yes.

SPEAKER_03:

Some I I really don't know the ones from the uh so there was a temple. I'm sure they're listening. I think they're a podcast fan, and that's why they sent them. Some temple in Florida had a beautiful tiled room that was like these vintagey tiles. Ooh. And they un they renovated it and took the tiles down, but they kept the tiles and they turned them into a bunch of uh you can have all of them.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, you're so sweet.

SPEAKER_01:

I love taking all the sh swag that people say.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can have it because I wouldn't I would not hang up Mazusa, it doesn't ha it's not clear. I want to see the Shindala Ju, the three letters that are on the on the other side of the screen. You guys are talking about magic.

SPEAKER_03:

Do you understand that? Magic? Yeah. I don't think it's magic. You have to have the letters right, and it has to be the it's an antenna, and if the letter falls off, now it's spirituality, it's not magic. It's basically magic. You're basically like, this is a magic spell in a piece of paper in my house putting a magic bubble of protection over it. Like I'm okay with that. I'm not saying it in a derogatory way. I'm okay. Just so we're all on the same page, just so we're all in the same cloth. Like that's what you guys sound like. Come from the same cloth. Cloth.

SPEAKER_02:

From the same cloth. Who were we just on the phone with and Leo was like we were zooming, and the woman just goes, I'm in shock at how much Yiddish and Hebrew Leo knows. I know it's in who was that?

SPEAKER_03:

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

You're the rabbi?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I just want to say I wasn't like this before you guys, so same.

SPEAKER_03:

It's Modi. Yeah. She was yeah, the person we were on the Zoom with was like, How do you know all this? I was like, I've lived with Modi for 10 years. Like, what do you want me to do?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Um, I'm not so excited. Why? It's like it's don't mess around with that. Have good. Yeah, apparently.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, now it's like I can't even function. This is like all I have in my head is I have to get these mazizzas up. Good.

SPEAKER_02:

That's a good problem. A good problem. First of all, always say, Thank God these are my problems.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank God, thank God.

SPEAKER_02:

Thank God these are my problems. I have a new home. I have to get mazuzas. Thank God these are my problems. I have uh oh so many doors. Thank God these are my problems. Yes, there could be other things that you can do.

SPEAKER_01:

I have other problems too.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah. Would you like to explore them on this on this uh episode?

SPEAKER_01:

No, it's okay. I'll I'll spare everybody um the problems of the house.

SPEAKER_02:

It's a lot. It's but when it's done, it's great.

SPEAKER_01:

Who needs it? I was so happy with just an apartment.

SPEAKER_03:

I know. I wasn't.

SPEAKER_01:

I know you weren't.

SPEAKER_03:

I wasn't.

SPEAKER_01:

You you love a house.

SPEAKER_03:

However, however, there have been some interesting updates in our building. Because I love our apartment itself.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

I just hate our lobby and our building.

SPEAKER_01:

Like aesthetically? Yes. Or aesthetic.

SPEAKER_03:

There is or lack there. There isn't an aesthetic. It looks like you're going into a Ukrainian emergency room in a lobby. It's like oh it's like flores, it's horrible. Anyway, they just posted there's a Zoom call on January 7th. I'm logging in for all the co-op people that are gonna be on this call because I need to hear it. But I saw the renderings, and as of February, they're redoing our lobby. Wow. And it looks very, very nice. So I'm very excited about that. And it's gonna be like we moved again because I feel like we moved when we did the renovation combination of the two apartments. Right. And then felt like we moved again when they opened the target Trader Joe's across the street from us. Right. And then it felt like we moved again during COVID when the whole Dimes Square phenomenon happened. Right. And like the neighborhood became like Boho Chic.

SPEAKER_01:

Totally. Whatever.

SPEAKER_03:

So I feel like every few years the neighbor like we get a change where it feels like, oh, it's like we moved without moving. Right. So that's the next phase is the live.

SPEAKER_02:

When your apartment all of a sudden has a Trader Joe's and a Target in front of it, you're like, oh, it's like we just moved into an apartment that has a Trader Joe's and the Target next to it. Yeah. Even though we good we don't go to either one. Oh, yeah. No, I Instacart from Wegman's.

SPEAKER_04:

Hilarious.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, but but we it's but it's gonna be great. It's gonna be I can't wait. Yeah. It's so hideous. It's so and since I since I bought in that in that building, they always said when we do the lobbies, we do the lobby.

SPEAKER_00:

Like a million years ago, you bought it. A million years ago.

SPEAKER_01:

That's part of the charm of the Lower East Side is that you charm. Yes, you walk into the. No, there is something charming about post-apocalyptic.

SPEAKER_03:

It's horrible. It's just it's it looks institutional. It looks like it looks like you're in like a a ward of a in like Eastern Europe.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah you're on the island of Manhattan. You've just had a night where you went to uh, I don't know, some restaurant that you couldn't get in, nobody can get into. You went to see a show, you went to it when stopped by the comedy cellar, you came back, and now you're walking into your apartment, and you're still on the island of Manhattan, and you're walking in, and it looks like you're picking up a friend from an emergency room.

SPEAKER_03:

That's that's the lighting of our lobby. I love our apartment self, and we've been spending as much time as possible in Connecticut. So that's it.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

So the and we had a baby in the house up there.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh my god, that baby.

SPEAKER_02:

That baby was amazing. So cute.

SPEAKER_01:

It was so cute.

SPEAKER_02:

It was good. It was good. But um, yeah, we've just but you know.

SPEAKER_01:

You guys look uh a baby looks good on you guys for the weekend, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, for the weekend.

SPEAKER_01:

No, no, for even for like just Instagram pictures of it.

SPEAKER_02:

And then we just throw it.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and then you're like, thank you.

SPEAKER_02:

There's the whole Instagram pages of like just uncles that just take pictures. Oh man, no, and then he's like, ugh. No, but he's we weren't like we weren't. It's he's so cute. And when you spend like more than a day, you know, like I was telling the other podcast when you're with the baby like for an extended time, you connect with the baby. He wakes up again, he sees you again, you wakes up with it.

SPEAKER_03:

Do they have they don't have object permanence at that age, do they? So like that you it's a brand new time.

SPEAKER_01:

No, but like eventually uh it'll start recognizing.

SPEAKER_03:

I barely have object permanence.

SPEAKER_01:

What is object permanence?

SPEAKER_03:

Like object permanence is like a milestone they use for like toddler development.

SPEAKER_01:

We're like, I do know this. I have no idea.

SPEAKER_03:

Because I took like a psychology class in college. Object permanence. Object permanence is like, look, here's a coffee. And then if I put if I put a cardboard box in front of it, you know that the coffee is still there. It didn't just like disappear into the ether.

SPEAKER_01:

So knowing that it's still there is object permanence?

SPEAKER_03:

I think so. Someone will correct me on this. Okay. It's been a few years since I took the class. But I babies don't get object permanence until like a certain that's why all of those games that are like the the jack in the box. It's a surprise every time. That's why it's a hit.

SPEAKER_01:

Right, right, right. So they don't know.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

But they but what does that have to do with like recognizing a person?

SPEAKER_03:

Well, because I think I don't know of how old, I don't know how old he is if like every time. Nine months. I don't think he's like, oh, these are the same two gays from yesterday.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm sure he is. No.

SPEAKER_02:

From yesterday, yes.

SPEAKER_03:

From yesterday. I don't know if he remembers from yesterday for sure.

SPEAKER_01:

For sure.

SPEAKER_03:

No, I'm sure if there's a child psychologist or like pediatrician who wants to weigh in, leave us a voicemail, go to our speakpipe page and leave us a voicemail. Those have been fun. There's a link in the bio where you can record your an audio message and and send it in. And Israelis have been just a little bit. I just hit playing. I'm like, Modi, what are they saying? And it's like all he does.

SPEAKER_02:

How come you don't have shows in Israel? How come you don't have da-da-da? I cannot tell you how hard it is to get a show organized in Israel. Is literally working on it. I mean, it's easier to get a president out of his country while he's sleeping than to put together a show.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, so let's talk about that. Because that just happened. Yeah. Yeah. Not that I have a I don't I really truly don't have a stance or care about this, but I'm obsessed with the Nike tracks.

SPEAKER_04:

Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

Because I want to know when they were ripping him out of his home in the middle of the night, was it someone's job to dress him, or was that what he was wearing? Like, was some green beret gay, like, what do you think, guys? Gray jumpsuit for the perp walk or green, gray, green, gray? We'll go with gray. Like, was it a choice or was it the middle of the night?

SPEAKER_01:

Was he so first of all? I love that he's saying that he got kidnapped.

SPEAKER_02:

Amazing. Oh, you can't. No, he was he got he got taken. He wasn't kidnapped, he was taken. Should I rephrase that? Yeah. He was taken from a legal perspective.

SPEAKER_03:

What term is are we using? Taken. No, it's just I don't think that's a legal definition.

SPEAKER_01:

He is compla he was like complaining to the judge that he was kidnapped in the middle of the night. Is that what he said to the judge today? Yeah. Who's like a 92-year-old by the way?

SPEAKER_02:

So a big Jew, like his name is Big Jew, his name is a judge? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

92-year-old orthodox Jew.

SPEAKER_02:

Yep.

SPEAKER_01:

Good luck.

SPEAKER_02:

Wow. No, good luck, nothing.

SPEAKER_03:

It's it's gonna be whatever the laws are, and it's good. All the camera crews are set up. Did you see the courthouse here? Because they have to bring him back in from Brooklyn. You know, on the way here.

SPEAKER_01:

And Luigi, uh, whatever his in the Soho House of Jails right now.

SPEAKER_03:

He's in the Soho House of Jails. Yeah. He is.

SPEAKER_02:

Um at least they put him in the but he's he's uh I I think listen, when they got to him, they said it was 10 feet from the safe room. So he didn't get to his safe room. Really?

SPEAKER_03:

Do you think they would have been able to pry him out of the safe room if they've gotten that far?

SPEAKER_02:

Well, from what I was seeing that they got him to uh the the safe room that when a met when the the special units practiced, they built what the safe room looked like, so they would have been able to get him out of that too. Okay, but they didn't have to. So they got him out and and gone. But like, you know, crazy. Like is it my crest door, my my you know, he needs his his medication for his for his cholesterol. You need like things. Uh my my charger, you know, my charger. Could you grab my dop kit? Just yeah, I know you're arrested. I they didn't like go through his closet to find outfits. I don't think he'd have that outfit. Or maybe he'd a good outfit. Or actually, maybe he did.

SPEAKER_03:

I know it's selling out as a theory. Yeah. Um I kind of want to that's gonna be like those Halloween's like hot as costume. Sure, the Halloween the gray Nike sweatsuit.

SPEAKER_02:

Um he's uh so the joke I've been doing was that um and that was I was at the comic store last night to work out. So let me just tell you something. I was at the comic store last night to work out material about this this the whole incident. So I figure like okay this happened in like so quickly you know whereas um in three minutes the they they in 20 minutes they they they came in and they were gone right whereas the last time this happened was with with Iraq where we had to live through George Bush begging Senate and begging the Congress and begging the UN to go in and then he sent Kamala um uh Kamala Rice Condoleezza Rice Condolisa Rice and Colin Condolisa Rice and Colin Pow I had to put that together and my dyslexia just made one big chunt of both of them and and you know begging them and you could tell that they didn't want to go to war but like and then and then they they then the press was embedded with them and we lived through it. Thank God this was done by the time we had coffee by the time you had coffee in the morning this was finished. It was done we're done we have the country whatever it's just I and no one at the comedy cellar last night knew anything about Iraq. No one remembered there were a few people a little bit I don't really remember Saddam Hussein Saddam Hussein you met you remember what the buildup to go get him was weapons of mass destruction weapons of mass destruction and chemical biological weapons we got there he had two grenades a tank and for the chemicals he had Ajax under his sink that was all he had right and and wait remember the documentary we watched about getting um Osama bin Laden about how they had built his house and like they were practicing to go in so they were doing the same thing for Maduro right yeah that's crazy. But they were all kind of special weapons nobody knew like it was like oh my god now we have like Maduro was captured yeah and then just to make it even worse you know because Donald Trump was watching the whole incident the whole activity the whole mission happening for Mar a Lago he's just sitting there and and they put up the the the black curtains I don't I don't know if if it's like if if you know in the is that true I'm 99% they probably just made that into the situation room oh my god Donald Trump is just looking at it and he's just like watching this and he's just thinking wow this guy's day is destroyed how can I ruin his day even more and he goes okay take his wife too I want him to travel the whole day with with his wife imagine he's just sitting there with his wife on the plane what did you have to yell for what did you have to say come and get me what you should have been quiet your brother Hector said don't talk and this and that I should have married I should have married Julio and Glacius when I had the chance you know it's like they should have I that was like the kick not only is he has this horrible day ahead of him he's got to go through it with his wife yeah when they were showing the footage of him getting off the plane we were like wow you think you've had a bad travel day that is a little all those billionaires who are stuck in St.

SPEAKER_03:

Bart's for New Year's because we were launching airstrikes that is hilarious.

SPEAKER_01:

Everywhere they were stuck that Puerto Rico all the all the fancy all the Aruba Ray stuck there yeah did you watch the Diddy documentary which one we watched one and was so un unsatisfying you didn't give it to me like uh we have a new one I don't know isn't there how many are there's a few now the one that 50 cent did I didn't know that there were a few I think we watched like the CNN we uh we watched one it wasn't it didn't give it to you it didn't give it to you yeah I I wanted more from it I was in shock why I first of all apparently he like killed Tupac and Biggie allegedly allegedly for that I don't know if we're talking about this then we'll talk about first of all he's he he he I I give credit just to he threw a party. It's not that hard to throw a party no good party it's not that hard to throw a good party okay anything's possible with enough baby oil yeah the baby oil thing this guy is a monster yeah he was pretty psychotic okay he is a monster like I mean I was shocked like I never knew like I don't know did you guys know that this guy was like a psychopath well I know he like beat um well he beat that woman but then he he settled with her so she was okay with it so that makes it okay but she she no it's not okay but she's that's not what he's on court for it's not okay but it's settled on court for on court no and that and that that that that you know and as you know when you entertain yeah okay if if you know I'm just thinking imagine you walk by and you see a whole hot tub full of baby oil you you know it's like when you go to a bomb to a bombard you go oh that's nice yeah that's nice that's nice they did that you see what they did here it's very nice who's the caterer there was some thought put into it who's the who who's the who's a party planner who yeah it's like you know the thing is is that there was a party planner you have to that can't just happen on its own yeah but maybe we should have them on the podcast the party Diddy's party planner yeah this is a this is a call to this is an open invite I'm almost sure it wasn't Doris Dweck I'm sure it wasn't anybody from the five towns um but I'm sure he actually did have like one of those like entertainment do you think he had a panic room or safe room sure with a sling probably somebody still locked in there oh no no the house burnt down no no the house didn't burn down during the fires over there diddy's house I don't I don't know I don't know I don't know I'm looking at Leo like you're supposed to I really just I've checked follow up I've checked out of so much pop culture lately it's really crazy picking and choosing it's not what I'm putting energy in Diddy I just catch it here and there you know I've been on planes so it's like that's what I'm watching on planes where oh you are yeah yeah did we just travel I will tell you though that you guys have been really on planes 61 planes if you want to know for 2025 67 for me wow how's yours 67 and mine 61 I don't know six more flights than you did flight when am I not with you I'm like we're attached at the hip I think about where I don't know what where were you guys for New Year's Eve? Did you have a show?

SPEAKER_03:

On our sofa perfect that's where I was too we had two friends over I ordered Veselka we ate pierogies in our sweatpants perfect we watched the last hour of Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper's broadcast we cheated all of Heated Rivalry we rewatched the last two episodes of Heated Rivalry and then we cheersed with um Diet Ginger Ale Zero in Champagne Flutes at midnight and they were in an Uber by 1205. Yep perfect compared to our last few New Years a drastic change I mean if you're not working on New Year's Eve like no we're usually partying really hard on new on New Year's Eve. We usually go down could DJ somewhere good but there's we didn't we didn't think that a we were tired and B uh we didn't there used to be a really good party called City Fox okay that was like really big but it would take it took place at Brooklyn Mirage which is shut filed for bankruptcy so then that's not happening anymore and then all these other underground parties that we kind of go to but I've told you my off camera opinions about them.

SPEAKER_02:

Right so we didn't do that. And um but it was funny I remembered um when I was putting our friends into the car I remembered like the years that I would do like five different spots at the comedy clubs. Yeah. And I would always make sure to be the and I was always like the last like the the guy that ended at 1155 before the MC came on and did the countdown with them. So I would get in the cab at midnight and go home from whether it was the Comic Strip Live or Caroline's or wherever I was you know I would be the last comic before New Year's and just get into the cab while everybody's where their parties are.

SPEAKER_03:

You're on your way home I've already I'm gonna repeat my my feelings about New Year's and Halloween they're both amateur hour holidays where people who don't normally have fun and don't normally go out they put so much pressure on themselves to like they have to have this amazing memorable fun night and it gets really messy really fast.

SPEAKER_01:

I cannot agree with it ruins it for everyone else I I love Halloween because I have a kid so that's really it's different.

SPEAKER_03:

But gay Halloween is different it's the Olympics it's crazy.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes it's like a four day event it's like so that was but New Year's I despise historically for that exact I really want to but most people don't go out the way that like we're out like we work at night right like that's our life like it's fun all the time in a way that most people don't get so right they need that they need that the uh the massive amount of people all of a sudden in the that's like what I told you it's a it's good to go to a theater as a civilian every once in a while.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah we went to go see Robin. Oh I saw that you look so happy I really just wanted to hear like three or four of her songs which I got to hear and I was set. I wait we saw her at Madison Square Garden right before COVID and I actually enjoyed this one better because it was I it was like a more intimate venue. It is fun to go as a civilian to the theater well it's good to know like I I and this goes out to everyone who's ever bought a ticket to the show thank you so much because I know that every butt in every seat is a miracle I know you had to put pants on you had to get out of the house you had to get an Uber or it find parking you had to get a babysitter you had to mentally make the decision to go out and it's a lot it's a lot and we appreciate it to buy the ticket to make to another but the Robin ticket you and Peter had to go through hell to get that oh my God yeah so she announced this second show at the last minute because she did a New Year's Eve show and I couldn't get tickets it was sold out. So I signed up for her texting list and she was like oh I'm gonna add a show um so I was like okay I have the code I'm ready to go I'm like you know I'm tech savvy I'm on Ticketmaster locked out completely locked out me I have two of my best friends also working on it on their computers and their phones we're all locked out why website crashed jammed code not working and I was like this is why I get so many angry DMs from people on on sale days because Ticketmaster sucks it's horrible but we fought to the death and we got eventually got and you looked like you had good seats it was just general admission you're just wherever you want to stay and where was it Brooklyn Paramount very nice which I had never been to before in downtown Brooklyn. Yeah but really though everyone who you know we had you have to put your coat on and get in the car and go to Brooklyn and we're gonna go through security and show our ID and you have to stand in the line stand in line for the bat it's a lot to go out. It's a lot I think it's also a lot to do that when you're used to being on the other civilian I was like oh this is like what everyone experiences that's like when we went to go see I won't say the name when we go see the other act at town hall after you had just done town hall and I was like I can't believe people sit in these seats for two hours I'm so uncomfortable I can't feel my legs like it's it's you have to rule one really thank everywhere that any comes out and and uh and thank god that the the the the tickets are moving for Radio City Music Hall.

SPEAKER_02:

Amazing and it's it's amazing and um and people are getting it and coming and going and it's really funny. People are really making a thing of it so we are so thankful and we know what you're going through. Yeah we know what you're we know we know and we're worth it it'll be worth it it will be so worth it so exciting. Yeah it's really exciting yeah but we've done a lot since we last saw you we taped the special which we kind of talked about on the last podcast we just yeah you you know that like even though in Kabbalah in uh in in astrology the most productive time of the year is the is is around Christmas and and that no man's land and no man's land time between Christmas and New Year's really yeah uh usually that time where Hanukkah to New Year's of the I didn't know that and the way that Satan the way like the the evil gets in there is that goes everybody go on vacation every go go go on vacation this is like the most like astrologically it's one of the most powerful times to get things done productive okay is great and like and then like the the the the the evil force the opposing the opposing that's like calls it an evil force the opposing the opposing force no go on vacation of the material world we were so productive we worked on so many things we w we read we went through the the special both shows and made the notes and like we we started the year we f we were the ones that didn't have the full mail we we f everybody else's mailbox yeah I was like I was like hey no you're on vacation right now but I make I made sure that everything I needed done was at the top of everyone's inbox as soon as they were back at their desk.

SPEAKER_01:

I feel like I've spent the past few days blazing through everything catching up not even like catching up maybe catching up just like doing normal doing the things and like I felt so productive in the past few days because I just remotely all of it.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah yeah yeah but when you're sitting on a beach in Aruba you can't be productive how are you answering emails you know your head's not in it. Yeah no your head's it's a very it's it's it was something I learned in Kabbalah that's like that's like you really it's this is a most productive time of the of the year.

SPEAKER_01:

Well I've also been implementing a page out of your notebook my notebook yes that you told me oh boy if it takes less than five minutes you do it now. Yeah I've been doing that a lot every day. Yeah it's amazing because I first of all have terrible ADD so I could literally start doing something just get up and walk away and forget and yes hello I live with I live with Modi. Yeah it's crazy.

SPEAKER_03:

And then like you walk back in the other room and you're like oh my God I completely forgot I was it takes less than five minutes just pause do the task whether it's sending an email or loading the dishwasher or putting your whatever away do it and then move on because chances are it takes actually less than five minutes instead of you walking away mid-task and now it's taken fifteen minutes because you were detracted.

SPEAKER_02:

A hundred percent it's very good advice of my coffee um yeah it's a good productivity in the camera if you look this coffee was look at that big vein on your on your on your bicep go back see yeah you go you see that I didn't even do arms today I know but but look how good it looked and the coffee cup was blocking yeah the coffee cup was blocking that and it was annoying me protein intake brought to you by AH kosher provisions the best kosher delicatessen meats and hot dogs you can buy you can use promo code Modi for 30% off of your first order call thank you Seth for supporting the podcast kosher dogs dot net a protein game up your protein game got a good angle yeah and and and and whites and luxembourg the law from the not only does well they do good and um and um they're super philanthropic and a big part of our our our our collaborative family here at and here's Modi and I'm actually having and Peril is still part of our collaborative family.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm still here yeah I'm gonna get so jacked in 2026 it's crazy. Wow yeah you're already so jacked no I'm gonna look I'm we're going to the next level I've been tracking at the gym it's not I've been at the gym every single day for like three hours.

SPEAKER_02:

Granted next week I'm gonna have to take a little bit of a break um because I'm having crazy app uh I'm at the gym I'm I'm like if there's no show at night I'm a little stony baloney I'm just enjoying life I'm enjoying being able I'm thanking God I can do everything I'm doing I'm I'm having the best time I'm getting a good pump and a workout he is calculating every rep and every weight he has to be a little bit some crazy new app now.

SPEAKER_03:

What's it called? Uh it's called Strong Strong it's just called strong yeah it's a very bare bones app but it's very helpful I used to be very loosey goosey at the gym if we didn't have our because we do have our trainer but then if I was at the gym solo I was just like thankful for anything I could get done depending on what equipment wasn't being used and like anything was a win. Okay. Basically everyone who says like that's not how building muscle works you have to like be structured and have a plan and make sure you're tracking things and progressively adding more reps or more weight and I was never good about doing that but the last few weeks I've been logging every single thing and sending it to ChatGPT and so that I'll log it in my strong app and then I copy paste it into chat GPT and I've trained it to like talk to me like a coach and it will like estimate my calorie burn it will rate my workout on like an A plus B plus B minus scale and it will give me suggestions for the next day. So get ready if you think I'm obnoxious now wait until I'm twice this size in 2026 I'm gonna I wanna I want to look so big that people are like what is he taking like what is he doesn't take anything we don't he doesn't take any I take AH kosher provisions.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah that's right yeah wait a second but we did legs today that I didn't even do arms so I'm surprised my vein is showing how far are you from the gym that you usually go to?

SPEAKER_03:

It's a 12 minute walk.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

Which is part of the exercise because it's like a 0.5 miles I think ish.

SPEAKER_01:

But um but yeah if we don't have anything to do I'm at the we're we're at the gym for like the road if there's nothing to do I'm gonna go see the oh yeah even if there's nothing to do it's like you would do that before you would pick something to do. Like you're going to the gym like the two of you it's not like oh I just got to Paris let me go the only way you don't fall apart on the road. I'm sure that that's true. I have no doubt.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah you have to you have to did you watch um we we we already discussed this on the last podcast but did you watch Taylor Swift's The Making of the Eras Tour documentary?

SPEAKER_01:

What do you think?

SPEAKER_03:

No no well it's worth a watch I already talked about it as well it won't bore everyone but there's a whole scene in there where she's training for to be on stage and I'm like yeah being a Paul Anka who's 84 we were watching his documentary and he takes He's like my celery juice my this my that like to be a performer it's basically an athlete yeah you have to you have to and I think that's what actually a lot of comedians self-sabotage because they have a tendency to indulge in cigarettes or booze or whatever they become very sedentary. Yes that's also very true.

SPEAKER_02:

That's a side effect of suffering from clinical depression I think that's a that's a key to longevity like if you're funny it's no good if like you're gonna cos fashion drop dead because you're just like not sleeping and you're drinking every night and you're smoking chain smoking on the city every comic that's my age is is by now already either sober or that's not true.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah they're not like not drinking crazy hard I mean I don't know I don't know some of them may maybe it's a part of the act I don't know Jerry Seinfeld kind of talked about this on uh Mark Norman and Sam Morel's uh listen to the whole thing that you can't do the drugs like the drug you can't do it.

SPEAKER_01:

Jerry's in great shape like you can tell you can tell he takes you have a billion dollars yeah but so I mean there are people who have a lot of money who are you know snorkel Norting it up their noses.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm just saying, like, I think I mean one of my favorite comedians, Ron White, his set when he does his, he doesn't move. He stands in front of a little carpet and there's a little bar, and he's just sipping and smoking and he's one of the funniest comedians alive working today. One of the funniest comedians. He is really you do laugh alive. Especially he's a different size. Same, honestly. And and uh he's just sitting there drinking, and he has them like a Pavlovian dog. When he goes for that sip, they know it's like laugh time.

SPEAKER_03:

It's uh Yeah, he has the audience trained.

SPEAKER_01:

It's like um what's his name with the Yeah, uh Rodney Clay? No, Rodney Dangers.

SPEAKER_02:

No respect, no respect where he fixes the tie. Oh, George Burns had the cigar hit him with the and when he hits it, when he goes to put the puff, they know that's the Dave Chappelle has that where he hits the mic on his knee.

SPEAKER_03:

I hate that. It drives me crazy.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's not fun to hear either.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. We are um we have to let you go soon, no.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02:

I it's so much fun. I 555. 457.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. So tell us where can they see you being you? Because you've been killing it at the West Hide Comedy Club.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you. It's been really fun. Um everything's on my Instagram, which is at Periol Ash and Brand still.

SPEAKER_03:

Say it confidently.

SPEAKER_01:

Everything is on my Instagram at Perrielle Ashenbrand. Period. Period. And it will and the show's called Hysterical, and it's really fun. I did one on my birthday, which was really fun. I brought my dad's oldest friend on stage. Oh wow, that's always Stu, Stu Siegel, who all he's ever wanted to do is stand up comedy.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh. Didn't make a wish for Stu Siegel?

SPEAKER_01:

He was amazing. Yeah. He asked me to come on stage with him because he was like nervous. All he does is tell filthy, Jewish, dirty jokes.

SPEAKER_03:

So he had them ready to go. Like which one?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh my God. I don't know. Like I can't even remember.

SPEAKER_03:

How old is he?

SPEAKER_01:

He's like in his like late 70s. Okay. Um I'm sure they're like all the ones, right?

SPEAKER_03:

And he loved priest and a rabbi jokes.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, like, but they're but they're dirty. And anyway, so he asked me to stand on stage with him and just like, you know, tell him just like, you know, the word of the joke so like he wouldn't forget what he was doing. And Matt Friend was doing the show with us, too.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh really, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And Matt got such a kick out of it. And Stu, Stu told me that he had um the best night of his life. I'm sure. He like he killed. It was amazing.

SPEAKER_02:

It's so great. It was amazing. So go see Perol's show.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, come see the show.

SPEAKER_02:

The Westside Com Westside Comedy Club, a lovely venue. Lovely venue. Not nice food to eat there too. And and very sweet and easy, and they're very professional.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's a great, it's a great, it's a great room.

SPEAKER_03:

I I and we're getting into the flow again of recording episodes. So hopefully you'll be seeing more of Perriel's face. And thank you so much for tuning in. Everything we have a lot of shows coming up. Everything's at ModiLive.com.

SPEAKER_02:

We are not brushing over this for this episode. We are at Radio City Music Hall April 23rd and 30th. Before that, we are in Boston, San Francisco. We are in um Kansas. We are in Aspen. Aspen on February 20th 12th. It's gonna be a fun Aspen's picking up. It's gonna be an event. If you are an Aspen person, we will see you there. We have a whole bunch of other shows near you, close to you. We're going back to San Francisco for a pickup show in this beautiful theater. I forgot the name of it. Palas the Fine Arts or something. We have a lot of stuff happening. Find a show near you. And we're about to add more stuff. Yeah, find a show near you and get some tickets for you and your friends so you can be the friend that brings the friends to the comedy show, which is Mashir Energy, and everything, of course, on ModiLive.com. And uh thank you for coming into the studio.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02:

Love you, Perio.

SPEAKER_01:

Love you guys.