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Couples Therapy with Modi & Leo

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Episode 172: Modi and Leo catch up in the studio and wander into some interesting conversational territory (courtesy of ChatGPT).

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SPEAKER_01:

Okay. Three. Two. And here's Modi and here's Modi. Welcome back to the studio, everybody. I'm here with Leo. We are um we are in the cold. It's freezing in New York still. Yeah. We're around the corner from Maduro. Maduro. Yeah. Is it Madura? Maduro Maduro. Maduro. The Venezuelan. Or or the new Ozempik. That's Manjaro. It's Manjaro. Okay. So Maduro. Ask your doctor about Maduro.

SPEAKER_02:

Ask your doctor about Maduro. Taken from your house in the middle of the night is right for you.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh-huh. Or for your country. Um and uh and and it's and it's um it's crazy that he's he's three blocks from where we are right now. Yeah, that we passed like so many camera crews on the street here. It's it's nuts. The last time we we were Oh, when Trump was in there. Last time we we saw that in the city. Yeah, you're right. When Donald Trump was on trial. When they said you're free to go.

SPEAKER_02:

Yep. Yep. Yeah. What do you want to talk about today? Um am I really having a second Celsius? Yeah, you've committed it is 5 06 p.m.

SPEAKER_01:

and you're having your second Celsius, so you're No, I'm not gonna finish it though, but it's just I'm gonna be I'm gonna be uh I have a I have two spots at the comedy cellar. You are going to the comedy cellar and I'm having dinner tonight with somebody, so it's I it's do you like be we you haven't been at the cellar in a while. It was so trippy to all of a sudden walk on stage to do 15 minutes after just being on the road doing an hour and 15 minutes. I know.

SPEAKER_02:

It was so so I like well, let me make sure I get them before When you say trippy, are you actually struggling or you just wish it were longer?

SPEAKER_01:

Or I I I don't wish it was it's just it's a different mindset. Luckily, people knew who I was. I was like, ah, I'm already here. It was just fine. Luckily, of course they know who you are. Yeah, but like you know, um it was crazy to be on that on the stage after not being there for so long. Um and the material that I thought was gonna kill didn't kill. The material that I was using aside stuff was that killed. Took me a minute to realize where the joke was with the Madura stuff, and then um, and I thought I'd have some more unheated rivalry, and nobody that surprises me that no one well blew me away, nobody knew on that journey. I'm in shock that the NFL is not making this their poster.

SPEAKER_02:

They're like completely ignoring it. The NHL.

SPEAKER_01:

NHL, the NHL, I'm sorry, the uh National Hockey League.

SPEAKER_02:

Those of you we're talking we're talking about heated rivalry, the gay hockey show on HBO, which if you haven't watched it, watch it, but don't watch it with your family. It's kind of soft core.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't uh well watch it if you're gay. I don't think people who's not are not getting to be watching the show. Yes, they do, yeah, yeah. Okay, but I'm surprised the NFL again because you you began to look for tickets to go see a hockey show.

SPEAKER_02:

I was I did. I said, you know what? Maybe I'm into hockey. And I was like, let me get tickets to a Rangers game, and then it turns out they're$500. I was like, I'm not that into hockey. Yeah, but um, if anyone has Rangers tickets, I would go with you. Um because when I was uh growing up in Florida, my um I actually weirdly went to a lot of sports games because my best friend's dad was like an A V guy and he did all the halftime shows. Oh so like I weirdly went to like a lot of basketball games, like Miami Heat games, um uh Dolphins, the Miami Dolphins games, and the Panthers, the hockey team. And I still turned out gay, folks, but um I went to all these sporting events, and I always out of all of them liked hockey the best, actually. Be not not being influenced by heated rivalry. I did enjoy hockey. I think partly because we were inside an ice rink and it was cold, okay, and I wasn't in the sun and in the heat.

SPEAKER_01:

We went to go see the Islanders at Nassau Coliseum, and our my friend's father had a bo box seats. So that was like I didn't watch the game. It was fancy. You were there for the snacks, snacks, and eating those uh hot plates, and I didn't watch the game. It was just horrible to watch and watch them smashing into each other and fighting. Oh, I loved it. Um the worst was uh when you go see a basketball game, it has no end. They keep stopping the clock. I'm like, oh my god, please end this already.

SPEAKER_02:

See, I I'm not into sports at all, at all, but like um my godparents, um Dean Manny, they love like the Miami Heat. So like when they're playing, they watch it. And I I do out of all the sports, I feel like watching it on television wise, basketball is the most entertaining to me because it moves.

SPEAKER_01:

It moves, yes.

SPEAKER_02:

It moves. Football to me is really boring. I don't understand it. Um hockey, at least they're fighting each other, so that's fun. But basketball moves, they're like it's quick and it's easy to follow.

SPEAKER_01:

And but did they stop the clock so you're ready to go home? Like, I want it to be one hour and what we go, but it's it's uh I'm not we're not sports fans here. This is not a sports podcast, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_02:

Should we pivot to being a sports podcast where we just like try to learn about sports?

SPEAKER_01:

No, the bucks and the bicks and the bicks and the bucks.

SPEAKER_02:

We'll do one episode on on football, one episode on hockey, one episode on baseball. Baseball is so boring. Oh my god. Baseball is really boring. That's torture. Yeah, I don't believe anyone's actually there for the game. You're just there to drink beer and eat hot dogs.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh my god, to watch these actions. It's crazy. It's horrible. It's one of the funniest Fraser episodes is where he had to sit in for the guy that does Bulldog. Bulldog Fraser on Fraser. Okay. Frazier sat in for Bulldog. It's one of the funniest episodes on Fraser.

SPEAKER_02:

You love Frasier. I do. It's one of your favorite shows. It's top three. Um what's what what are the top three you would say?

SPEAKER_01:

All in the Family, Frasier, and and I'm gonna leave the third one for a moving wild card, depending on the genre. There's so many good movies on the club. Yeah, because the crown is your favorite. Well, it is Crown T is Crown TV show. That's more of a series limited series. Limited series, yes.

SPEAKER_02:

Hopefully they bring it back.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, please God, thank you. That's all that's that's really all the the royal family was ever put on earth for is just so they can make the crown. That's the only reason God put the royal family on, made us live through all those centuries of the royal family, just so they can create the crown. Yeah, yeah. It's something about me. I love British shows. We have like that Brit box, we have I watch all of them. Um when you go to sleep, I watch all those British, I just love that accent.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, and and we've established now that I have a uh an Irish passport too, so maybe we can go um do like a a location tour of where all these things are filmed. Yeah. I really do want to go to Ireland.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go on vacation. No no no shows. Go see or maybe a show. Maybe a show.

SPEAKER_02:

Maybe I heard there are Jews in Dublin and and in Belfast.

SPEAKER_01:

We're putting this out there in the e if there are if there is a show in Ireland, let us know. We will come.

SPEAKER_02:

The name of the mini tour is gonna be Leo's Homecoming Tour.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Leo gets to use his Irish passport tour. I just want to stamp it.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Um, I was asking, I was trying to come up with some like icebreaker questions for us. Yeah. Um, and one of them was Um What's something about a relationship that you think would surprise people?

SPEAKER_01:

So by the way, I did the same Google chat. I got the same exact question.

SPEAKER_02:

The same and I wanted to tell you what the same one. What which I don't know if we've discussed on the podcast before.

SPEAKER_01:

Go ahead. It's the same one. I got the same exact search that you have.

SPEAKER_02:

Did we both just chat GPT what the fuck we're gonna talk to each other? Absolutely. I didn't know. Yeah, because it was we had to, you know, I feel like we've talked about a lot of stuff. It's really weird. And we're with to we're with each other all day long.

SPEAKER_01:

It's not like so on the giggle squad, they catch up on things.

SPEAKER_02:

You and I have caught up. Okay, so this one says, if I weren't a comedian, what career do you think I'd actually be good at? So I'm answering for you. Oh. If you weren't a comedian, what career do I think you'd be good at? Let me hear. Ooh, interesting. Like some sort of um consultant, like like Bain consultant, where they like bring you into a company to because you get to talk to everyone and see what's doing and like yent up and different departments and be like, actually you need to change this and do this and do that and do that, and then you get to leave. Like a Deloitte, like a Deloitte or one of those consultants. I feel like you I mean, you were kind of doing that at Merrill Lynch before you did comedy.

SPEAKER_01:

No, we've established that I was a personal high personality hire.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, so and you could be a personally high personality hire as a consultant, too. I feel like you'd be good at that. I feel like also, um I mean, can I say rabbi?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I am I not a rabbi now.

SPEAKER_02:

You're kind of basically a rabbi.

SPEAKER_01:

I would have probably been a cantor. I would have found some synagogue that stomached me and stayed there.

SPEAKER_02:

If we hosted a reality show together, what would it be called? And why would we get cancelled?

SPEAKER_01:

If we hosted a reality show, what would it be called? It'd be called Mind Your Own Business.

SPEAKER_02:

Mind your business.

SPEAKER_01:

Mind your business.

SPEAKER_02:

I think it'd be something more along the lines of like an interfaith, inter something, like play on words, something like that.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, that's funny. So creative one.

SPEAKER_02:

We do like Anthony Bourdain style, like But let me tell you what I think your job would have been.

SPEAKER_01:

What if you weren't producing comedy? What? When companies, when people go, um there's a word for it, when someone gets in trouble and there's a scandal breaks out, and someone has to deal with it right away.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, like crisis communication. I wanted to do that.

SPEAKER_01:

That's exactly what you do.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm a public relations journalism major for hi.

SPEAKER_01:

The CEO was just caught with like my dream job three trans women and two this and that, and five da-da-da, and bags of cocaine and bags of this and bags of that.

SPEAKER_02:

Show me where the bodies are, honey.

SPEAKER_01:

This is it, and call Leo. Show me where the bodies are. Two seconds, Leo has a press statement.

SPEAKER_02:

I'd be like, well, actually, this was a good thing because a spin doctor, basically. Yeah, you'd be able to to to I've always been fascinated by that. But what's that called? What's what's that? What's that? It's called like crisis comms, crisis communications, the form of public relations. Yeah. Um, it it's a huge thing. There's people who specialize in it. Yeah. It's um like when like the the the last big like oil spill happened. Yes, like I was like, oh, I would love to be in that room. Like I think more than a company's like a a person, a person of its like itself. I think it's rare that companies have one dedicated person. I think it's like a consultancy where they when something happens, you pick up the phone and like when a governor is found in a bathroom somewhere.

SPEAKER_01:

I'd be so good at that. I'm saying that because you'd also control the wife. I don't need her making a statement right now. She needs to be out of the line. I'll tell you when we bring her in and and the kids.

SPEAKER_02:

It's a little bit of like media training, too.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Which I feel like I've taught you a little bit.

SPEAKER_01:

A lot, a lot of it. A lot of words I don't say.

SPEAKER_02:

Because because I've looked at not just words you don't say, but also the words you do say and how to because like when you're giving interviews to all these different publications and magazines, they're kind of sort of asking the same question over and over. And so I I feel like I've been good at telling you how to answer it in a way that A, it isn't annoying for you to have to answer the question over and over, and B kind of like leads you into more interesting territory for like a better overall conversation, no?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, absolutely. You've definitely trained me very, very well. I'm very well trained.

SPEAKER_02:

Otherwise, it becomes just like robotic.

SPEAKER_01:

It's horrible. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

One of the things was like a something about a relationship hack. Which I don't know if we've talked about this on the podcast before. Relationship hack. But we have like a relationship hack that I think all married couples or people who cohabitate should adopt.

SPEAKER_01:

Two blankets.

SPEAKER_02:

Two comforters. I know you're gonna two separate comforters of of varying thicknesses. Yes. That's what we have. And that's what's a very important thing. Our our sleeping situation work. Because I'm a blanket hog.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, you have no, you do this.

SPEAKER_02:

It's I'm a blanket hog. Also, my comforter's thicker than your comforter.

SPEAKER_01:

No, but you're it's not a blanket hog. It's this thing you do with the whoo.

SPEAKER_02:

I need it to fold as well. I know you do, as if I'm gonna punch you in the face while I'm doing it, even though I know where you are and we're in a king-sized bed. No, but I'm like you think I'm gonna like shh sh wrap yourself. I need it wrapped a certain way, and there can't be this is like a little OCD, but I need it wrapped a certain way, and I need it to like not have wrinkles in certain spots. Yeah. Because like I need it to go in between my legs, like in between my knees.

SPEAKER_01:

I'll tell you something else, you know. When I when you sleep, I hear you sleeping, and I come in and out of bed, I do it quietly. Like it's I very, very quietly. When you get up and out, you always hit something, and always it's always like a little I'm sorry. No, it's okay. I'm just saying it's fine.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, to be fair, I have more ground to cover to exit the bedroom from my side of the bed than you do. You do.

SPEAKER_01:

You're tucked away in that little corner there, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. So it's a miracle I make it out at all. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

We are looking to do renovations on the apartment in Manhattan. If anybody is a good contractor with a good record and good references, contact us.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, yeah, we were just talking on the last episode with Peria about our apartment and how much I love it. But when we met in 2015, the immediately afterwards we did a gut renovation combination apartment. But now it's been 10 years. And everything looks good, but it's just like it needs a zhuzh.

SPEAKER_01:

It needs a zhuzh and a little love and a little decor a little carpentry, a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even just the paint that you know, just um we've maintained very well, but it needs a little bit of Yeah, there's not a lot of wear and tear happening on the house.

SPEAKER_02:

There's no kids running around, there's no No. Yeah. No.

SPEAKER_01:

What else did you get that did you get from that chat? I don't know. What else did you I don't know? I it was the same things you asked. I don't know. Let me see what it said here.

SPEAKER_02:

What's a way that we support each other that isn't obvious? That that one's harder for you.

SPEAKER_01:

What does that mean?

SPEAKER_02:

I don't know, because I feel like I'm very out and about of what everything that I'm doing. What do you mean? We support each other in It's it says, what's a way we support each other that isn't obvious? Space. Space. Well that's when you know, like if I'm in the other room like working on the podcast or something, or like a social media thing with you, your face on it, you you know not to be around me while I'm doing that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Also, like I'm going to synagogue on Saturday. Oh yeah. Well, yeah. Go do your thing. Go go to your plastic surgery, go to whatever, whatever whatever, whatever, you know. What plastic surgery? I don't know, to go consultations or whatever. Go do your things.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm having a laser treatment done. That's not plastic surgery.

SPEAKER_01:

No. Okay. You're having it done with a proper plastic surgeon, though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Make it sound like I'm running around. You're not running to some clinic in the back of a of a salon.

SPEAKER_02:

So you mean to say we are we are attached at the hip, but when we're not, we're not. We just let each other. Yeah, run. Go do your thing. Yeah. You go to Schul, I'm gonna go to the gym. Then I mean with Peter, we're gonna go to we're gonna go to 12 chairs for lunch.

SPEAKER_01:

Go to whatever loud you want to go to the things right ahead.

SPEAKER_02:

These are the things where Modi says, go have fun. If I'm going to a loud restaurant with my friends, or if I tell them that we're going to see a movie.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, in a movie theater, go kill you.

SPEAKER_02:

Knock yourself to get Modi into a movie theater is I haven't subjected you to a movie in a long time.

SPEAKER_01:

No, and last time you went, it was a big bomb. You can't you came back very disappointed. But that wasn't with you. No, no, no. I wouldn't go. Yeah, you didn't.

SPEAKER_02:

But you're like, wow, thank God. I picked a movie. Even I said it was it was it was it was.

SPEAKER_01:

But then I watched it and I said it was great. Yeah, you watched on an airplane on the back of a seat. That is where that movie belonged.

SPEAKER_02:

I was very excited to see it. It was called On We're talking about On Swift Horses, starring Jacob Alordy, among others. Um gay theme in it. I know, but to watch it in a theater was so bad. And it was like so Leah went to go see this movie in a thing. With my I with my friends, his friends, and two people I don't know. Yeah. I was I was so embarrassed.

SPEAKER_01:

You picked the movie, and I had so I was gonna be at home. I said, you know what? I'm gonna catch up on phone calls, call my friend Jamie, do some talk with my mother, with Dina. I was like on the phone, though. Yeah, you do your phone three, four hours of just phone catching up because I'm I'm at that age of east of we have phones. And you went, you came back, he was it was horrible. I'm so happy you didn't go. The movie sucked, yeah, but it was really okay. Cut to a week or three later, we're on a plane, yeah, and we're in two different pods in the up front. And I go, Leo, there's a great movie. You should watch it, you should see this movie. It's a great movie, it's like a gay theme. Watch this movie. I was like, it's a horses, the horses are coming, the horses are going. What's it called? On Swift Horses. On Swift Horses, watch it.

SPEAKER_02:

And you're like, oh God, I had PTSD because I was embarrassed. Because first of all, it's rare that I take charge on a friend outing. Actually, that's not true, but I rarely pick the movie. I'm rarely the one who's like, we're gonna go see this movie at 7:30, come join. And that was a case in which I curated the evening, and it everyone there was like, This is the worst movie we've ever seen.

SPEAKER_01:

It was one of the first movies you ever took me to go see was La La Land.

SPEAKER_02:

And you were like That was just horrible. You it was because yeah, you don't do it.

SPEAKER_01:

Horrible, but remember Mother? That was a hard amp to get out.

SPEAKER_02:

Mother. Oh, wait, wait, Jennifer Lawrence?

SPEAKER_01:

You remember that? And it was the the fire alarm went off in the movie theater. My God. Twice.

SPEAKER_02:

Twice? Twice or three times the fire alarm went off.

SPEAKER_01:

Twice, yeah. And we went, I I went to the I went to the That was a hard movie to watch. To the ticket box office woman that was there, and the ticket behind the ticket, I go to her, I want a refund. And I go, hit the button twice more. She gave me two more tickets. I go, here's for you and your friends. Go see as many movies as you want and let me know how they are.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, we lost Modi at the first fire alarm. We to our credit filed back in and finished the movie, even though And they stopped it again.

SPEAKER_01:

I was with you the first time you went in and they stopped it again. Could you imagine a fire alarm in the middle of a like a tense movie, too?

SPEAKER_02:

It's not like one of those like Yeah, not where you could like take a break. But we haven't, I haven't brought you this to the movies in a while because there's nothing good coming out. And also, like the streamers are kind of killing the movie theater experience.

SPEAKER_01:

I can't why would I want if I could see this in my home in Connecticut or on my sofa in Manhattan?

SPEAKER_02:

Where you can pause it and go pee and come back and go.

SPEAKER_01:

That's my thing and make a nice thing of like a pretzels and a diet soda, that caffeine-free diet soda with pretzels in the middle of the night. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02:

My thing is like, so every uh Peter and Simon went to go see the new Avatar movie, which is like three hours and twenty minutes long, and they invited me, and I wrote back, I said, I love you, thank you for inviting me. I can't sit for three hours in a movie theater. Like, A, I'll get claustrophobic, B, I'm gonna have to pee at least four times. At least I'm gonna miss half of the movie. I don't know how people do it, but I don't. Yeah, I know there's not happen to a movie in my life. I heard the new Marty Supreme um Timothy Chalamet movie isn't even that great.

SPEAKER_01:

I heard it's gonna be on the back of a chair of an airplane at one point, and that's where I'll see it. I love it. Him. I love I I I enjoyed all of his press tour. Press tour. He really killed it for the press tour. He killed the suit he wore last night. Stunning. I have nine suits like those, but he got long, it was long on him. It's like a like a he's a slink. He's a slink. He's like a little slinky slink slink. And so he's um he ki so happy for him. Is he's is he they said he's Jewish, right? Or something? Here, I'll chat GPT. No, but it they said the Jewish Jewish act, I don't know. I whatever he is, I love it. I absolutely love it. Even though you know he said uh he came out and spoke about people who joke about not having children. Oh yeah, I saw that. You saw that, right? Yeah. He's planning on having children with probably what's highly generous, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, Timothy Salome is Jewish, his mother's Jewish, Russian Jewish, and Austrian Jewish ancestry. There you go. That's it.

SPEAKER_01:

Um I didn't uh wow, that's a you had that in there.

SPEAKER_02:

That trivial.

SPEAKER_01:

I I see it, you know, it comes when I flip looking for for things I want to watch. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. What else is there? You uh the this thing said to ask you, um let me see what else has to ask you. We're gonna call this thing chat GPT conversations so embarrassing. No, it's fine. Um it has to twist everything. Voluntary without getting heavy. V vulnerability without getting heavy. When you feel the most proud of me. When do you feel when do you feel the most proud of me? Oh.

SPEAKER_02:

I mean I feel proud of you so many times.

SPEAKER_01:

But it's just to twist it. What do you mean? When when do you when do I feel proud of you? When Oh well, whenever you just like nail everything. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02:

When you just like I'm proud of you when I when you when I know that like well first of all, every show, I'm proud of you, period. But especially when I know that there was a a rough travel day, or we had drama with the soundcheck, or getting there was a nightmare, or whatever, and I know that you've had all these things in your head, and when you but you never let it show, you never let it affect you, you're just such a workhorse, and as soon as the lights go on and it's your time to go on stage, none of that matters. It all is immediately washed away and you are in the zone. You've never waver, and I'm always just like really, really impressed by that.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, okay. Thank you. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02:

Or if there's like a tough news day, or like you know that everyone's been in their phone all day, like something crazy or messed up has happened, or or we've had something happen to us, like at the airport or wherever, and you just and your your song comes on and the lights hit and and the show happens. That's showbiz, baby. It's showbiz, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

It's a show. Well, don't forget, it's like I'm getting a big r rush out of it too. But yeah, yeah, I understand how you can. I've seen comedians losing.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I've seen comedians who are who don't just who can't do it a hundred percent of the time. Yeah, yeah. It's like you're like Michael Jordan or like just like nailing the shots. It's crazy. What about me?

SPEAKER_01:

It's the way you align people in in the business. There's a show and there's the business. The in the the way you just align them all. It's so incredible, it's so insane between all the projects that are all those spinning dishes on the on the stickers, a lot of spinning dishes, a lot of spinning to keep them all going and to connect them. Here talk to each dish dishwasher each other. Yeah, but you you put them all in the dishwasher together, too. That was that that's the the most amazing thing.

SPEAKER_02:

It's but in the 10 years we've been together, uh not to toot my own horn, but uh would you say the craziest like superpower I have is being able to smell crazy?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I can smell crazy, yes, because I am crazy.

SPEAKER_01:

No, because you but you've experienced crazy. Oh you're far from crazy.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm not not crazy.

SPEAKER_01:

You've experienced a lot of crazy in your in your but it doesn't take long for me to this person's sound. I get it just like one or two times I can I can this person and then sometimes it's like a few weeks or a few months or even years, and it's you have a validation. Someone that worked with that person, like something happens and blows up. Yes, I you know, like I knew that, that's why we didn't do this and this and that, and then yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm very good at I sniffing out the crazy, but that's also just like trusting your gut, which I've gotten also better at.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, you you absolutely, yeah. And I'm I'm I'm like everybody, yes, they're great, they're this, they're that. I'm I'm I'm very open. I'm very I'm I'm much more trusting.

SPEAKER_02:

I just I'm not not trusting.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it takes a it takes you a B. It takes you a B to trust somebody.

SPEAKER_02:

As it should.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, as it should. Absolutely. As it should. Absolutely. Otherwise now over New Year's, my mother Oh, we're gonna talk about it? I guess so.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

No?

SPEAKER_02:

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01:

So my my mother, who's eighty-ish.

SPEAKER_02:

Redacted.

SPEAKER_01:

Redacted, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02:

Eighty redacted.

SPEAKER_01:

Like two or three, maybe, I don't know. And my dad's about to turn 90. And I I have a bit that I do about their job is to not fall. Fell. They b they're fine, they're good. My dad hit his foot on the stair and broke a little bone in his foot, so he has to wear that ridiculous boot, which is so annoying to him. Okay. And my mother, my mother always entertains on New Year's Eve. She has a little party. She used to have a rage. She loves it. She used to have a full-blown DJ party and everything. And then it would became dinners, and then it was a few couples, and she she slipped and fell, and she broke like a little part of her bone on her arm. And cut well, whatever it was, Hutsalah came in three minutes and took her and Hutsala Five Towns. You are Mashiach Energy 100%. And while she's they all knew that she was my mother, and they all like told, and they were all show showing her videos of me. And she was like in the ambitious. It's like your bit from your audience. Literally the bit, literally the bit. And she she's like, and the guy's telling her, like, you know, he was taking her blood pressure from this like machine that's on your finger. He's like, Yeah, this is a new way to do it. This is a$50,000 machine, and this and that. And look, yeah, he was they're so proud of their. It's like the top of the line.

SPEAKER_02:

At least we know the do they're they're they're using the donations.

SPEAKER_01:

All the money you sent to Hutsala, they use it. They love every new gadget to save lives. They they're on it.

SPEAKER_02:

And I I've seen it in action where they show up before anyone else would have showed up. Yeah. They're there. Thank God. They're there.

SPEAKER_01:

When her friend said we have to call it we have to call an ambulance. My mom said the number's right there, they're called Hutsala, and that was it. And Five Towns Hutsala, big shout out. Um, anyway, so so she's like in a sling. Thank God it's the left hand, and my dad's in the boot. And the biggest, the biggest miracle of the whole thing is our neighbor Mara.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Mara. Yeah. So salty.

SPEAKER_02:

Who probably doesn't listen to this or she listens.

SPEAKER_01:

Mara listens. She's a fan, and she wherever she goes with my mom, she goes, That's Modi's mother. Wherever she goes, that's Modi's mother. Um, but Mara's a neighbor, and I've been I've been the Mara.

SPEAKER_02:

You've been the Mara for other people, and I think that's why God gave you Mara.

SPEAKER_01:

That's right. God gave me Mara. God, God gave me Mara is a gift that God gave me.

SPEAKER_02:

Of no blood relation but helps your mom.

SPEAKER_01:

100%. And it's yeah, and she took them to the oh my god. We've discussed not only bad things, but my father hears now.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh yeah. Also part of your bit.

SPEAKER_01:

Also a bit a miracle. Wait, my father hears now.

SPEAKER_02:

Powerball, preferably.

SPEAKER_01:

They stopped going to Costco.

SPEAKER_02:

They went to a real audiologist.

SPEAKER_01:

They went to a real thing. They went to a real audiologist. And there's a new machine, and it's in there and all of a sudden my dad's there. He's like in the conversation. He's listening. He's talking. He's he's there. So he got his hearing back, lost his foot. Okay. Oh, wait. So it's his driving foot. So my mom for a while had to drive them. That drove him driving this daisy. Insane. My mother doesn't my father has never not been the one driving like me.

SPEAKER_02:

I know.

SPEAKER_01:

Like imagine you guys, it's like so that was the crazy thing. But you know, the Mara thing is down the block.

SPEAKER_02:

She is um Mara is Mashiach Energy.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, so but but Mara, so my my father has a hearing now, and Mara is Mashiach Energy 100%. And Mara just talks a lot. She just talks, she's a talker. She talks through everything of what she's thinking. And so she talks, and she's and my father now hears. So my father says, she hasn't stopped talking. She's always talking. No, no, she she knows. Mara for sure knows she's a talker. She's she verbalizes what's going on in her head, and and which is okay. So you know what's happening with her. But like the but the miracles that Mara will receive for this is next level. To go be the help, and she helps, and and they're friends. It's not like you know, she's a very, very child woman. But yeah, and we've been our families have been, it's a real neighbor. Down, it's two doors down. That you don't get that anymore. You don't get that anymore.

SPEAKER_02:

I think the the neighbor as a concept is dying. It's dying. It's it's people don't talk to their neighbors, people don't help their neighbors.

SPEAKER_01:

I married, I was I performed the ceremony for Mara's daughter.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh my god, I just remembered something horrible.

SPEAKER_01:

What?

SPEAKER_02:

One of our neighbors in Connecticut sent us an invite to a Christmas party that I never responded to. Oh my god. I think I opened it and never responded. We weren't gonna be in town anyway.

SPEAKER_01:

But you have to keep that in touch. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02:

I just had a flashbulb memory of that on my phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm the problem.

SPEAKER_01:

But it's the but to have that neighbor, she she we our kids grew up in our house. Uh, our my parents' grandkids grew friends with them. It was like a it's like a family, it's family. Mara is family, it's like uh it's a thing. I know, but I just feel like it's becoming increasingly rare. Very rare. So that doesn't usually happen. And it's funny because my parents moved into their block, they were the young ones. When they when we moved to the city. But your parents have lived there for how long? A hundred hours eight years, whatever it is from 1977 to now, whatever that is crazy. So much shit. So many years. How do you even do that?

SPEAKER_02:

When I go into the Modi's parents' house and when I go into the basement, it's like an archive of like no.

SPEAKER_01:

My mom's house is very nice, clean. No, yes. She has flowers and little decorations. I didn't say it was nice in that basement. The basement is like it's it's insane. It's really crazy. And my father's golf ball collection. Yeah. We have to we have to do something with that golf ball collection. We have to like turn it into like an art piece. No, we have to do it some charity event. Just make it for like just charity event. Yeah, like whoever wants to bid, how do you do you count how many balls are in there?

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, like a guesstimate how many balls. Yeah. So those of you who don't know what we're talking about, do you know the if you buy the pretzel sticks from like Costco that comes in the big plastic jug, it's like not a bag, it's like the jug with the hard screw lid. Right. He has about how many of those would you say full of golf balls?

SPEAKER_01:

I'm not joking when I say you counted, right? 50. Yeah, like 50. 50 of those full of golf balls.

SPEAKER_02:

We should do, we should go take a picture of all the things laid out and then ask people to guesstimate to guess how many golf balls there are, and the winners, we should give them two tickets to Radio City. No, but we should we need to we should do it on like a social media channel.

SPEAKER_01:

Whatever charity wants this thing, whatever, you know, some kind of uh a charity thing. Just give it away to somebody give what away?

SPEAKER_02:

The balls? Yes. No one wants the golf balls, they're like dirty golf balls they take them from the people from the range.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh my god. I don't know. I think people would want them.

SPEAKER_02:

Do you remember that show Dirty Jobs? Yes. I first of all I used to love that show. Really? Yeah. And then but I remember there was an episode where um he does the there's a guy who's a diver who goes into the ponds of the golf courses and collects the balls and resells them. And it was like a multi-million dollar bill.

SPEAKER_01:

That's what I'm saying to you.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, clean them and resell.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, there's the machines that go into those puddles to pick up those balls.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Remember, like an idiot, I smashed my face with a ball. Oh my god. Oh my god. So ridiculous.

SPEAKER_02:

You were on a you were on an injury spree. I was in shock. God forbid. Recently, but I think you're through it now. Usually I'm the klutzy one, but I was in shock.

SPEAKER_01:

We we were at we were at uh Trump Durral. Yeah, we were on a golf course going for a walk. But what what what happened before before that? We talked about that. We did. Did we talk about that? Yeah, we did. Oh my god. Yes. Which wasn't that bad. Um but yeah, we were playing with a golf ball. Uh we we went for a walk on the mount on the Trump Durral Resort. We stayed there while we had the shows in, and we're walking and I see a golf ball. And like my father, I look, how do you not pick on a golf ball? My father came right out. Playing with it and heavy and bouncing it, and it just popped right under my eye and cut the skin. Give you like a black eye almost. Almost. You kind of looked butch with it though. Yeah. You kind of pulled it off. But then I put the makeup on before the show. You know, like you know, walk out there like like some injured, like some beaten bitch. Um, you know, I had to um we had to put that on.

SPEAKER_02:

What's something we disagree on that doesn't actually matter?

SPEAKER_01:

We disagree on that. Does it actually matter? Yeah. Oh yeah, I know what it is. What? Tell me. Not because I don't have one. Oh, I have one. I know, I know, I know, I know. You think that food can't last in the fridge that long. Okay. We it can last so long.

SPEAKER_02:

It can last you lack some very basic food safety handling knowledge. No, yes, it's a thing. It's not, yes, it's not. You you you lack some food safety handling knowledge, and it's a little concerning sometimes, but you're still alive, so yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm I'm still alive, and the food that we order food, and I it it it after one day you're like, no, and I'm like that's not true, yeah. No, you act like I don't eat leftovers. Only if it's within 24 hours. After 24 hours, it's just gonna sit there until I get hungry and just throw it in the microphone.

SPEAKER_02:

No, you'll bring something from like uh we'll do Shabbat with your mom or Dina or something. You'll bring back like a thing of soup and it will sit where and you'll eat it after so long. And I'm like, where did you get that soup from?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, oh, from heaven. It's mana. Like mana, out of nowhere, you look in the back of the fridge and you see the soup. I forgot I took that from Dina's house. Oh my god, I have soup. And I heat it up and it's heaven.

SPEAKER_02:

Uh we disagree on that. So that's what we disagree. But you're alive, so I have nothing to stand on. Yes, I'd have a few years on you on that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

With I have one what's something I mean what was your first impression of Jewish culture when you started dating? What was your first impression of Jewish culture when you start I'm asking me? I'm I'm asking, yeah. It's asking of obviously. I remember the first trauma I don't know if it's traumatized, but the first massive plunge. Like, do you do you know when you when you take a baby and you throw them into the water?

SPEAKER_02:

At the baptism?

SPEAKER_01:

No. So they can learn how to swim.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh yeah, my parents said that to me in Florida.

SPEAKER_01:

Right, they just throw the baby into the water and the baby has to learn how to swim.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and they know how to swim, by the way. It's like instinctual. Instinctive?

SPEAKER_01:

After the first summer that you and I were together, and you went back to finish your semester, and you were visiting every three, four weekends, right? You were coming up. One time I picked you up and brought you right to a gig for RCCS.

SPEAKER_02:

The Cancer one.

SPEAKER_01:

The Cancer Williamsburg organization. Yeah. And you came with me to the I picked you up, and then we drove to the gig. So you were landing from Atlanta. I you come with me to a gig of Hasidic, an entire studio of Hasidic people, men and women, putting together this show with singers, and I'm hosting it, and they had this raffle or whatever it's I forgot what it was, what is that they do there. Like it's literally gambling. It's like be in the pod, but the pod, this is where yeah, I couldn't follow anything. I was, I was you were hosting it and you didn't know what was going on. They would do it, but everybody was like calling in and calling in, and it was like, and something was a little weird because like they had this big meat package that they were giving away. Like, you won this whole thing of kosher meat, and the guy won his his name was Fleischmann, which is meat man, which is uh it was like, is this really this a real thing? And it was like it I don't know what it was, but they raised a lot of money for an amazing organization. But like it was like a telethon thing, it's a telethon thing, and you're standing there, just standing, just came from from your last semesters in in in and here you are, Leo Omega standing there, just like and you're seeing Hasidic musicians and Hasidic.

SPEAKER_02:

No, but I had been with you to like Hasidic events before that.

SPEAKER_01:

Not that intense.

SPEAKER_02:

Uh I don't know. And it didn't phase me.

SPEAKER_01:

It didn't phase you. Yeah. The first summer we I took, I remember the first one took the first one took it to the Catskills.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

You thought I was gonna kill you. Yeah, when you were driving up to the Catskills, and I was like, Oh, this is fun. And I'm like, oh wait, I barely know this person. We just met a few like weeks or months ago, and then I was like, Oh, this is where you get murdered. We're like in the dark in the middle of nowhere. You're driving don't light. You're driving, there's no lights, you're just everything. I asked you though, I said, Are you gonna kill me? And you said, No, there's too much footage of us together today because we went to the outlet malls.

SPEAKER_01:

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02:

And I said, Oh, you're right. I've watched enough crime documentaries to know that that would be a thing. So But I asked you.

SPEAKER_01:

I remember, and then we after the show, we went to someone's house and they had enterments that their sisters sent them from Milwaukee or something, whatever, and and and and the guy puts it down in front of you. So we brought this, we just ordered it also because we don't know. You know, you never know when Hitler's gonna come back. He said something to you, and you and you're like, Oh, that's a thing. You like, oh, that's a guy.

SPEAKER_02:

That's a trial, yeah. Yeah, I hopped right in.

SPEAKER_01:

You hopped right in. Yeah, so that was it.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. I just got you know, when your phone sends you pictures like seven years ago, eight years ago, I just got one of you doing just today. I got it, I'll send it to you. Maybe I'll plug it in here of you do sitting in like a what a hotel ballroom, like with not even on a stage, you're just standing, and there's like eight or ten uh white shirt tsits guys in folding chairs around you, just like laugh and they're laughing in the picture, but they're just sitting there, and it looked like very low budget just uh sh kind of show, but it was only seven years ago.

SPEAKER_01:

Feels like So in my when it comes, you know, in when your phone decides to send you something from Yeah, what sometimes can be very triggering. Very, very triggering out of nowhere it could be like, Hey, remember this day? Like I was trying not to be a little bit more a lot of them that I get are when we are in Europe on a boat. I know. Those are like I don't know why, because I think when we were on that boat, we take so many pictures.

SPEAKER_02:

And also it just knows like that.

SPEAKER_01:

That's what we want. Yeah. Okay. Then I have now you in 2020, height of pandemic. You remember what we used to make? Those um 0% body fat. Zero percent body fat. And also um that ginger tea. That ginger tea we used to we used to make. That sent to me. Then then like oh then it has with Arthur and Randy. It just it sends random things. I think it heard me say the word I was playing a dinner with Arthur, so it it it um it it does that. It it it does that, it it hears things. My phone hears everything, and I thank you. Um everything's good. Send nice pictures, nice times.

SPEAKER_02:

No, but sometimes you'll we'll be out and I'll take a picture and I'm not even like I'm like, let me just take a picture. I'm not even gonna post or anything, just so that a year from now my phone will be like, hey, remember you were here? That's right. So because so much stuff happens and it's so much hard to happens. It's so it's just just catching up with Perriel before. I know. Wow, just like so much has happened. And we don't pause to like besides this when we do the podcast, we don't really take time to like just plow through.

SPEAKER_01:

Get on with it, as I say.

SPEAKER_02:

Get on with it.

SPEAKER_01:

Get on with it.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

One more question? Yeah. Yeah. What else do you have over there? I I I prepared, so let me see here. Wait a minute, what are the beginning? This is just okay, this is a you did this one already. What's something you've learned about me that you did not expect when you started dating?

SPEAKER_02:

That you were good at astrology. Oh. Oh, please don't make me sing.

SPEAKER_01:

Please don't make me sing. Please don't make me sing. Please don't make me sing.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, that you were such a singer. You were so musical that you're gonna walk around the house screaming songs all the time.

SPEAKER_01:

I remember the first time you ever went to synagogue. You came to synagogue, and I was doing Friday night services, and there's like the part like where it's there's like a part where I like you were walking by me to go downstairs. Because I can where you can go, and I was in this, and I remember the exact prayer. It was um you prompted me with this question just so that you could sing right now. Oh no, no. But then I got then I began and then you walk by right when I'm hitting that note and you make eye contact with me, and you go, you made this like face like work, bitch.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, you're talented.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, no, that's um just in that. But that was I remember when you like, oh that's a thing.

SPEAKER_02:

What's something you tolerate because you love me?

SPEAKER_01:

Tolerate?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I I don't tolerate uh there's nothing I tolerate, nothing to tolerate. Nothing to tolerate.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, are you sure about that?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I'm positive. Tell me, what what do you what do you think I tolerate that that about you that what's something you would miss if I was gone for a week?

SPEAKER_02:

And what's something you'd miss immediately if I were gone for a week? You besides me.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, I don't know. Sleeping with somebody, is having another human being next to me. Um, but you, you smell, you smell so good. Your hair, your hair. Oh. Yeah, your hair is so always smells good. All the things you put in it, it's just that, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

That and the laundry getting done, probably.

SPEAKER_01:

I would get that done. I would get that done. I was doing that before you shoot. No, you weren't. Yep. Who was doing that for you? I'd uh I had a housekeeper. So you weren't doing it. No, I'm not gonna be doing laundry. I don't know how to do laundry, and I'm not protecting it.

SPEAKER_02:

That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, you don't know how to do laundry, right? But you you do it all the time, you you love laundry. I don't love laundry. I just what am I gonna do? You're good at it. You you're good at timing it. I don't know what it is. You're just very good. I'm so it's so it blows me away.

SPEAKER_02:

It's because I live I don't know. I I lived alone for a while. I had no other no one was doing my laundry. And I didn't have a housekeeper.

SPEAKER_01:

I had a housekeeper and she was doing laundry.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, well, we've had different experiences, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And spin I she spoke only Polish and I spoke to her in Yiddish and we managed. And we managed. She didn't speak a lick of English. I spoke to her in Yiddish, and she wasn't sure if I was saying do the do do my genes or hide me. Yeah, she had no idea what I was saying. So and we we we managed. Yeah. Managed. And then I had a teacher who was a cantorial teacher who had a uh Czechoslovakian housekeeper, and he was speaking, well, he thought he spoke to her in Czechoslovakia, and I knew she she didn't know either. She had the same face my my housekeeper had.

SPEAKER_02:

We speak to well, I communicate with our housekeeper, God bless her. Oh my god. Um, housekeeping in Spanish, yeah, in on text and usually in person, partly just to keep my Spanish alive. Um, but sometimes I wonder if she's like, What are you saying?

SPEAKER_01:

No, you your Spanish is amazing. Are you crazy?

SPEAKER_02:

I used to have amazing.

SPEAKER_01:

That's something that blew me away about you. Like when I found out that you speak Spanish the way you do.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, I used to be completely fluent, like read, write, uh, like conversational, and I've lost a lot of it.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm surprised you haven't like leaned into it and started joining some Spanish table.

SPEAKER_02:

They still have that. I minored in Spanish. Like I was write, I was writing like full term papers in college in Spanish, but I can't I can't do it anymore. I lost, I lost a lot of it. I can understand a lot of it, um, especially if it's like Castilian from Spain Spanish.

SPEAKER_01:

Latin American Spanish gets a lot a little lost on me, but oh I remember when I took you to um the supermarket by our house, everybody's Dominican, and you have no I go, it goes totally, I have no idea what they're saying. I'm not gonna go what they're saying. Not a blessed word. Not a blessed word.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, yeah, when I found out you spoke Yiddish and Hebrew.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, we're a multilingual household. Multilingual household.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and we have our own little language. We do, grunts, little mm-mm little like words and sounds that we know mean things. Um, did we think our sponsors are ready?

SPEAKER_01:

We haven't, but I want to thank like this. Is basically like a therapy session without a therapist.

SPEAKER_02:

No, do you think that's what this is?

SPEAKER_01:

It sounds like it's just a catch-up.

SPEAKER_02:

Should we, for maybe fun, bring like a couples therapist in and like bounce things off of them?

SPEAKER_01:

But then be we just repeating everything we just did.

SPEAKER_02:

No, I feel like maybe they would dig up some stuff. I'm I'm I'm up for okay. If you're a couples therapist in the New York area, um, I'm inviting you to the podcast. You can get in touch with me at info at modilive.com. I think that would be funny.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, I think so too. I think at this point we're gonna thank AH Provisions, the glot kosher food that is just it's just glotkosher food that is amazing. They're a part of our family here. And um, with promo code Modi, you can get 30% off of your first order. Best hot dogs in the world. Um contact Seth and he will get you merch. I just decided that. And um kosher dogs.net, and they're also at um in Costco now, too, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like people selling us pictures of them buying it in Costco. Um, and Whites and Luxemburg, the law firm that not only does well, they do good, super philanthropic. Um, Arthur Luxemburg, literally a family um of the podcast, and Randy, who listens to the podcast to tell him what we're talking about. And uh thank you very much for being a part of this. Everybody, I am on tour, period.

SPEAKER_02:

We are in San Francisco, Aspen, Boston, DC, Kansas, Kansas City, Missouri, um Brea, California, uh Orlando, Florida.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. Uh a lot more. A lot more. Radio City Music. Radio City Music Hall, make that a fun. That's a family activity. It's a family activity. Come to that, make it come to New York. It's gonna be beautiful. It's April 23rd and 30th. It's when it's when New York begins to New York again. It's like it's not freezing anymore. It's Passover's finished, you're good. You like, yes, bah. That's a great time to be in New York. And you come see video music hall. Tickets are moving. I see that this the 30th, there's still good seats up front. Yeah, because uh yeah, 23rd is a little lighter to get a good seat, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Please buy on Ticketmaster people.

SPEAKER_01:

Don't do nothing.

SPEAKER_02:

Only go on Ticketmaster on the link on Modi's website because there's already you know things on StubHub that are you're getting scalped. So don't get scalped. Just go to Ticketmaster and see what's available first.

SPEAKER_01:

That's it. Yeah, and everything's available on ModiLive.com. Get a few tickets, not just for you, get some for your friends, so you can be the friend that brings the friends to the comedy show. That's creates energy. Thank you all for listening and being a part of and she's Modi. Bye. Bye.