Act One, Act Two, Act Three

Episode 187: Modi and Leo sit down to discuss recent travel snafus, officiating funerals, and the different seasons of life. Are you in Act One, Act Two, or Act Three? Let us know in the comments!  

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Transcript

Back From Travel And Cancellations

SPEAKER_01 0:00

And here's Modi. We are back in the studio. Me, Leo, and me. Um, we I think we missed a week or two or something. We were traveling, we've been busy, we've made people happy, we've been vacationing, we've been Croatiaing, we've been we told them about Croatia. We did tell them about Croatia, but still, but we did I was in Portland, Oregon, and then we were canceled. The show was canceled because of flights and because of weather. And uh, when God does not want you somewhere, he will let you know that he does not want you there.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

Yeah, unfortunately, the you were supposed to do Sacramento and then Portland, Oregon, and your flight to Sacramento got delayed, delayed, delayed. You were at the airport for six hours, then it got canceled. Then I couldn't get you on a direct flight or an even a connecting flight in time for you to make the show. So we had to reschedule, which I can say as of now, the Sacramento show has officially been rescheduled to December 7th. Yeah. Um, so if you have tickets already to that show, they'll automatically roll over to the new date. If you need a refund, uh the venue or ticket master should have alerted you as to how to go about doing that. But we're coming back. We're gonna make we're gonna make the show happen just because you got you know some travel issues. But then you made it to Portland. Portland was a good one.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

What was crazy was I think in in the 32 years of me doing comedy, I've only missed two shows because of weather.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

Yeah, I know both of them. One of them you did the show on Zoom from the carriage from the bag baggage claim.

SPEAKER_01 1:31

From the baggage claim in uh there was a show in Montreal that was cancelled. Was that for my McGuin de Vie Dome? Magenda Viewed Dome. And I well actually, it wasn't Montreal, it was Toronto. You're going back to Toronto to do that exact same show, which is uh funny. Yeah, but I did the show on Zoom, they zoomed me in, and I was in the carousel doing the show for everybody. That was pretty crazy. It was pretty crazy. 20 minutes I did, and they were so happy, and it was just it was crazy. And then there was another gig, it was a Montreal gig that was canceled because of snow, there was no way to get there. And then this kept being delayed and delayed and delayed. And while I'm sitting there in Newark Airport getting delayed, um I was I forgot that that same night was the 40th reunion of the Chabad of Boston, where I went to Chabad at BU. And they were having their 40th reunion in the city, and I had to miss it because we were I was on this flight and the flight kept being delayed. And then someone texted, and I forgot that the reunion was going on. And someone texted me, Are you coming? I go, To what? I go, Oh my god, that's tonight. And then all of a sudden, flight canceled, no more delays.

SPEAKER_02 2:44

So you got Newark back into the city, and you were able to catch the tail tail end of the Chabad event.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

Exactly. It was a very nice, it was God saying you need to go say hi to Rabbi Posner and all of that. And it was it was just great. But let's discuss how much we're not big fans of United Airlines. Oh, is that what we want to talk about? Just for a quick brief minute. Okay, just a quickness, just a quick quickness.

United Airlines Lounge Rules Rant

SPEAKER_01 3:09

So I I I I I I I I don't know who makes the rules up, but when you're flying on United cross-country, if you're going to San Francisco or LA, you can use the lounge. If you're going to Sacramento or to Portland, Oregon, which is the same distance.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

It's the same distance.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

They don't let you use the lounge. Even if you're in business. Right. Even though you bought a full fair business ticket. This wasn't points, this wasn't, and there was a full fair business ticket we bought. And I went up there to go sit in the lounge, and then I And they're so mean to you. And they're mean and they were nasty. You're not, you're not a member of the club, and you're not flying to San Francisco or LA. Now, two adorable girls were coming out while I was there, and they saw me and they recognized me. And they go, Oh my God, can we bring him in as a guest? And the one goes, Not unless you're flying to Portland, Oregon, which no one's flying to Portland, Oregon. Um and so I ended up doing six hours not in the lounge, which I I want to talk about what it's like. You had to do the airport as a civilian. As a complete civilian. First of all, the airport's plat because all the flights were delayed. And so wherever you sit, you become a part of whatever group is next to you. So I was first, I was I had dinner, I went to eat dinner, and I was a part of a family, literally the Griswolds. But one of the kids was transitioning with earrings all over their head, and the mother was trying to pretend that was okay, and the father was, hey, try this, and like I don't eat that, it was that. So I was in that family. I was with they sat them next to me, and that was I was a part of their journey. Then there were two women who when I just moved, just to move to get a different scenery. This is six hours I'm in this Newark. Newark. And there was uh what was that show? Barb and and Star and Barb go to Vista Del Mar. Star and Barb go to Vista Del Mar and uh Star and Kristen Stewart, Kristen Wigg. I sat next to two of those women. I sat next to they they had some name of a company that they sell to the wheel.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

This is your problem, is you don't have the ability when you're in those crowded situations to tune out noise that I have. Because I grew up in a house with six kids and just so much noise and and stuff going on all the time that like I could I could sit at the dinner table and do my homework while like all hell was breaking loose. So I know how to just like turn my blinders on and and and just not be in the situation. You are very sensitive to everything that's happening around you. Like if someone around you is chewing that like weird, it it'll piss you off.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

Not the chewing, but it the conversation. But the those two women that were just they couldn't have dead air. They kept just talking through everything, they're just answering each other. Oh, so there's another like, well, we're here, well, sitting, at least we got a good chair, and then just couldn't leave that. And there's a plug here to charge our phone, and that they just kept speaking and talking through it. What am I doing wrong? Nothing. I'm just like waiting for the joke. I I just the the joke was I'm just let I'm I'm not joking. I'm just I'm just telling you that just it was just uh anything we talk about is is something for you to to for the audience to to let us know what you feel about it. I'm just setting you up for uh for let us know what you what you feel about how if you sit there and and um and are miserable at the airport, let us know about that. That's it. That was those I wasn't looking for a joke. Let us know how you feel about the fact that United doesn't let you fly. And let us know that um okay, that that was whatever. You can cut that all out if you'd like. You can you can edit all of that.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

I just I'm like trying to understand your thought process. Like, do you think people are in their car or wherever they're doing and they're turning in this podcast to hear about you stuck at Newark Airport for six hours?

SPEAKER_01 7:19

Yeah. And I'm sure that they've been stuck there too, and like are happy that someone's discussing the fact that that happened to somebody else. Okay, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

We have a lot more juicier things to discuss. Okay.

Being Called Rabbi At Funerals

SPEAKER_02 7:31

Like, for example, the fact that I watched you officiate a funeral this week. I was gonna discuss that. And and it's not even the first funeral that I've watched you officiate. We're now into multiples of funerals that I have attended as someone either not knowing the deceased or barely knowing them, but watching you perform a full-on funeral, being referred to as rabbi by the director of the funeral home.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

How do you feel about that? So I w I wrote that down as one of the topics I want to talk about. So, first of all, being called rabbi. So the situation was this my let's see. Sister's ex-husbands, no, no, there's nothing wrong. We're all family, we all love each other. Everybody we're very close. My sister's ex-husband's father passed away at 92. Zohar, a lovely, lovely ex-brother-in-law's father. My ex-brother-in-law's father, but also the father, the grandfather of my niece and nephew. Right. Because he's so and and he was family friends. He was he was a friend of the family. And now lately, I've been officiating all of the funerals. I've been officiating all of the funerals of my parents' friends that are passing away at good at good ages, 88, 90, 92. I I'm I'm the guy that does the officiating. What? I think it's great. I think it's cool. Yeah. I I told you this on the way home. Right. To to officiate at a funeral, you do not need to be a rabbi.

SPEAKER_02 9:03

Well, but we don't mind being called rabbi, do we? I I don't when he throws the rabbi your way. You're like, Oh, please don't make me sing.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

Yeah, it's a little bit that, but um, it's funny because people think you have to be a rabbi to officiate a funeral. No, there are certain psalms that have to be said, there's a certain prayer that has to be said, there are certain customs that have to be. Which you all know each other. Which I know. And I sing them, and I and I, you know, I was gonna sing it a little bit better, but right when I got up there, like a piece of mucus landed on my on my chords, and so I wasn't gonna be like, uh see, right there. It's just like right. So it was it was phlegmi. Yeah. I was phlegmie. In order to really be a cantor and a singer, you need to vocalize. You know, that's the way the song is done. I give it more rachamim, bam, because I had that phlegm sitting on my throat. Okay. So, but let's not focus on the phlegm. No, let's not focus on the phlegm, but focus on the phlegm. That's a good I did that and I officiated at weddings. I've seen you do many weddings. Many weddings, and I officiated funerals, and they always call you rabbi, the catering person, the the undertaker, the funeral home director. Are they still called undertakers? I don't know. Undertakers. So they'll let us know. So they'll let us know. Someone who works in the funeral industry, the funeral director people go, uh, who's official? They go, Rabbi, what time will you be doing this? How would you like to do that? When do you want to do the ripping of the shirt? Uh so now I told them the schedule, and you say it with confidence. No, you were fully running the show. Of course.

SPEAKER_02 10:51

So, yeah, you were the rabbi.

SPEAKER_01 10:53

Yeah, I was the official. You were the rabbi. I was the rabbi. Okay. In my book, you were the rabbi.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

I was the rabbi. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:00

If you look like a rabbi and sound like a rabbi, are you a rabbi? If you ask for donations, now you're officially a rabbi. All right. So it's it's what I'm calling. Like when someone calls you a rabbi, and you know, there's a lot of people who are rabbis and don't behave like rabbis. That's a whole different podcast. It's a whole different podcast. But but that's that's a whole thing that there's people with that know Torah very well and and do not do not disseminate it in a proper way.

SPEAKER_02 11:29

They do not live by Torah values, they don't, they don't, they're just nasty. But it's very attractive to you to me that you are such a pillar of not only the community, yes, but of your entire family. That people turn to you for simchas, weddings, fun things, sad things. They're like, I don't know, make Modi do it, and you do it and you slay it.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

Yeah, you do it.

SPEAKER_02 11:53

And it's and and it's I did the whole thing, you you explained everyone the shovel thing. Right. You you led everyone through the whole the whole ceremony.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

Yeah, and it's even better when you know the person.

SPEAKER_02 12:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

It's even better when you know the person.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

And I've seen you do a funeral for someone you did not know. I know. That was hilarious. Have we spoken about that on the podcast?

SPEAKER_01 12:12

I don't know, but you and I barely were living together for a year.

SPEAKER_02 12:17

We just met. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

We was it the first summer? Yes, it was like so. You weren't even like living with me.

SPEAKER_02 12:25

I don't think so. No, I think. Very early on, like very early on in our relationship. We were going out to the Hamptons or something. I forget where we were going, but we had to go out in that direction. And Modi's like, we just need to stop real quick on the way out there. I need to do uh there's a funeral. I need to like do something. I thought you were gonna just pop in and pay your respects or something. I don't know. I'm fully wearing like a Speedo underneath my clothes, like ready to for fun in the sun. Yeah. And we pull off into this cemetery, and you've performed a full-on funeral for this woman. I did not know. I'm in the front row, I'm in the front pew, her whole family sitting in the back because they're all fighting and with each other.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Well, they were they were separated. They were all fighting. It's in the funerals where the some sisters are here, some daughters are there. Pockets of people and no one's talking to each other.

SPEAKER_02 13:20

Leo's in the front row, fully bawling because it was their her husband was still alive and it was their wedding anniversary. The day of her funeral was also their wedding anniversary. And then he went into that story. So now I'm fully crying in the front row of a funeral of a person I've never met. Right. And my new boyfriend, Modi, yes, ascends to lead the So we got the reason we I did that was because I officiated their wedding.

SPEAKER_01 13:47

The kids' wedding. The kids, one of the kids, I officiated their wedding, and they didn't have a rabbi, they weren't, they weren't associated with any synagogue. And so they didn't know what to do. So they came to the wheel.

SPEAKER_02 13:56

You were their spiritual leader for all intents and purposes.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

Yeah. So they said, Can you do a funeral? I said yes. And I was like, uh, okay. And we went there. I got the information about who the so very a few crazy things happened at that event at that. But that was the Book of Esther thing. Right. So it was a funeral home. And a funeral home has a uh was it like a non-denominational funeral home or a general?

SPEAKER_02 14:22

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

It was a Jewish funeral home, and usually, you know, where the where the officiant, the rabbi, meets with the family. There's a little office, and they had they had some books there. Usually it's a sitter or a book that's called the Madrich, which which helps you uh guides you through the service. But this woman's name was Esther, and they had the book of Esther there. Like the like why would a Purim book be in a funeral home? It was very, very strange. And my name is Mordechai, so that also on top of it all. There was some other connection to the whole thing.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

My favorite part of the of the funeral though was because you know you're supposed to help shovel dirt onto the casket, and everyone in there, when they when the family members did go up to say a few words, all of them mentioned how she was the deceased was a clean freak and had OCD and hated anything to be dirty. And so you were like, All right, so since she didn't like dirt, instead of throwing dirt on the coffin, you're all gonna come in with this cloth and wipe the wipe the coffin off a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 15:27

No, because she was she so much hated dirt, she didn't want to be buried in the ground. The mausoleum. Yeah. So they it was a shelf that they seal. Yeah. But the family to do something, so I said we can help push her in, and also we'll take a little bit of dirt, put it on it, and then we'll all wipe it off. I made that up. You made that up on the spot, and they were so happy, and they loved it. They couldn't it was a hit. Funerals by bigger. It was a hit. And by the way, just so that we understand this, I wasn't making things up and whatever it is. In a funeral, the only thing that is important is burying the body immediately. Everything else is commentary, everything else is tradition, is minhug, is whatever. And there's so many, so many crazy laws that, and not laws like uh traditions that have come up out of it. And you know, when we did, when we spoke, when I I was at uh my best friend Dina's uh father's funeral, and that's a very religious shiva we had. I sat the whole shiva with the family, and the joke was the whole time there was so much food, and we kept telling people, take the food, don't, don't just leave, take some food with you, right? And there's a are you allowed to take food from a shiva home? So someone says, you can if the person didn't die in the house. So from then on, we just said everything is just, is it okay? Yes, he didn't die in the house, you can do whatever you've adopted in the yeah, we've I've adopted that into everything. When we just say, can we leave early for the airport? Yes, he didn't die in the house. We just we just that was a part. It's all but it made the family feel good. We said thank you very much, and we went right back, right to the Hamptons. Yeah, right back on the highway and out to the Hamptons in a smart car. Girl. In a smart car. Um but yeah, I for family now, you know, and it's really crazy to look at, and you see all the people my age, you know, and they're burying their their parents or whatever it is. And um okay, let's veer into something a little bit more. Well, hold on, no, I want to veer I want to veer into something f from this. Okay.

Breaking Life Into Three Acts

SPEAKER_01 17:41

So I was thinking about, and this conversation came up yesterday at the comics table at the cellar. So your life I I some people view your life as like a show or a movie where you have act one, act two, and act three. So I believe act one is one to thirty. Act two So you're putting me in act two already. Yeah. Well, hold on. Uh, compared to the other comics, you're in way deep into act two. So so I believe we'll start again. Sorry, act one. Act one is birth to thirty. Act two. So and this is I'm and this is I'm speaking to the audience. Let me know what your ages are and let us know what your your your thing is. So I believe act one is one to thirty, thirty to sixty is act two, and sixty to ninety or before or after. Act act three could be short or long, or maybe too long. But just that's what I believe it is.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

And and depending on where you end your act three, Modi can come perform your funeral.

SPEAKER_01 18:50

So I'm not in act three yet. Uh but when Jim Norton heard this last night, he goes, You are so deep into act three, you idiot. He goes, It's it's one to twenty, twenty to forty, or whatever he had. Then I said to him, but if you're married to someone who's in a is in an act that's way younger than yours, then it it's a wash, then it's a it brings you up a little bit. But I really believe it's one to one to thirty, thirty to sixty, sixty to ninety.

SPEAKER_02 19:16

I feel like I agree with all that except for 30 to 60 for some reason. Why? I don't know. I feel like it should be like 30 to 50. No, and then no, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

It also depends on what you've done.

SPEAKER_02 19:30

Well, sometimes the third act is the best part of the movie. I think so. Usually I feel like in the in a good movie, right? Because your second act is setting you up for the third act, and the first act is just exposition.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

No, first act sets you up for the for the second act. So I, by 30, knew I'm a comedian. I I was already, I I was I left my other job, I'm fully commit comedian and making a living in comedy and looking for an apartment. Remember when I was turned 30, I began looking to buy an apartment. So I I I was yeah, and then 9-11 happened. I said, let's wait. And I said, maybe the prices will go down, and they did not. They did not. So I I went back and looked, and God found me the right place. And um, but that was your 30s. You set up what's going on for act two. Some people find their spouses, some people begin to have their family and children.

SPEAKER_02 20:29

But for me, it was I think some people try to do too much in act one and it affects their acts two and three. Amen. No? Yes. You get married too early, you do the wrong career.

SPEAKER_01 20:41

Well, that's when you that's when your act one is involved giving.

SPEAKER_02 20:44

But then thankfully, since it is act one, you have time to course correct.

SPEAKER_01 20:47

Are you cold?

SPEAKER_02 20:49

A little bit.

SPEAKER_01 20:49

Okay. Um we're in a studio right now, a new studio, and we've and this one really has good air conditioning. Thank God, because the other one really didn't have complaining. Sweating my other one didn't have crazy conditions. But hold on about it. So let's go back to this. So a lot of people, act one, are trying to please other people, which messes up. I that was never my problem. Me neither. Yeah. Me neither. Me ne my father. Oh, one thing my father's telling me is is is an expression in Hebrew which cannot be translated. Al Tasim Zahn al-Afihad. Literally means don't put a dick on anybody. That's what it means. Al Tasim Zahn al-Afihad. Don't give a it's really don't give a damn what anybody else thinks. Okay. So I never really cared.

SPEAKER_02 21:35

It was very your father.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

It was very my father.

SPEAKER_02 21:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

So people ruin uh their act ones by trying to please people, having kids when they don't want to have kids, uh, getting married to people just because it's the right thing for somebody else and looks good on paper, um taking jobs that just destroy them, you know. And so I think my act one was great.

Leo’s Wild Act One Resume

SPEAKER_01 22:00

If I have to talk about your act one. Oh, let's get it. I'm scared where this is gonna go. Your act one was so packed.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

We covered a lot of ground.

SPEAKER_01 22:11

Holy, wholly, if you think about your act one. Wait, make make me think about it because I feel like I've blocked it off. Oh, you blocked it off completely. Whatever meds they put you on, you've completely forgot about act one. You did in your act one what a regular gay person would do in seven acts. You okay, you found your you found your Bachert. You found your your I got that out of the way, everybody. No need to be on apps and looking and dating and sitting there. And what are your goals? Let's go for a walk. None of that. So you found your you found your one. You had seven jobs in every industry that every gay always has a job in. You were for two minutes in real estate. Two whole minutes. I rented like I rented six apartments on the Upper East Side. Right. And but but I was like, I don't care. A highlight of that, and that was something that I was blown away by you. Oh, always during your Act One, there were things that you did that always blew me away. I always blow you away. What are you talking about? Right. Surprises. So there's this book to get your real estate license, you have to get a book. There's a classes. Right. That all the kids get. All the kids with the yarmulkas, the Syrian kids have to get this so they can use their father's real estate, whatever, da da da. And they all fail it. And you had it on the table on our on our dining room table for like 12 hours. Forever. And you didn't look at it. Oh yeah. And then I'm like, this test is is is in two days, right? You're like, yeah, it's tomorrow. I'm like, and did you look at the book yet? And you're like, no. And I go, so but you're gonna pass? And he goes, and you didn't even answer me. And you read the book the night before, you went in and got a hundred. And you and you finished before all the other kids finished. There were all the he goes, he got you and it was some shady way you got in there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:01

You had to go Okay, so for fictional purposes, this is a joke. It's not, who cares? I don't want to get anyone in trouble. I don't know. Well, you're not gonna mention the guy's name. So I was working at a at a at a real estate company, and I was actually interning in the marketing department, and I really liked it. And I was having fun and I was getting to do like social media and writing email blasts and all the stuff that I'm good at. And I really also liked the company. I thought it was interesting, and I had another job offer somewhere else, and I used it as leverage because I wanted to stay at this real estate company. So I said, hey, look, I have a job. This is like a temp position here, and I want to be a full-time situation. Like, what can you do for me? And and they were, they told me, Well, we don't have anything available in the marketing department, but if you get your real estate license, we'll assign you to like an to an agent to a broker's team. So I was like, okay, what do I need to do to do that? So you're supposed to go to a certain amount of hours of in-person learning, either either online or in-person learning. Back then it was more in-person. So you have to go to this classroom, log in your hours, do the tests, and then study this book, and then go take the test for the thing. But when I spoke to a broker who was like, Yeah, I'll bring you on, he's like, slides me this name on a like a post-it across the table.

SPEAKER_01 25:24

They match up with some shady Russian broker who found someplace for you in the middle of some shady.

SPEAKER_02 25:30

He sent me somewhere in Brooklyn where I was like, I'm gonna get murdered. And then he goes, Tell them you I sent you. I go, Okay, so I go upstairs to this like called me from the location.

SPEAKER_01 25:39

He goes, I don't know where I am, but I need you to know my location. It was like your first time venturing outside without me in the city in some shady place in Brooklyn. You're like, I'm on the corner of this and that, and just I want you to know where my body is right now. I'm like, okay.

SPEAKER_02 25:55

So I go upstairs and I slide the little, he goes, What's your name? And I didn't even say anything. I just slid the little piece of paper across the table. And the guy looks at me and he looks at the paper and he looks at me and he goes, One minute. And he turns around, he comes back with a stack of attendance papers. He goes, sign all of these saying that you've been here for the last three weeks. So I forged all my attendance sheets saying that I completed this in-person course. He gave me a stamp on something and he goes, Okay, you can go take the test. So I'm so proud of myself. I was like, okay, I did it. And I go back and I call the broker who set me up with this whole shady situation. And I go, Okay, yeah, I'm ready to take the test. And he goes, Okay, yeah, great. Um, so we scheduled it for tomorrow for you. And I was like, What? Yeah. So then I went home and I was like, Well, now I have to learn all this. So I just opened the book and I just read the whole thing.

SPEAKER_01 26:46

And the book was massive with a million things and laws and it's honestly easy.

SPEAKER_02 26:50

It's not that hard.

SPEAKER_01 26:51

All those kids fail. It's not that hard. All my friends, all my friends' kids who I did get a hundred. All my friends' kids who take that test always failed the first time.

SPEAKER_02 26:59

So that was my first uh part of my act one in New York.

SPEAKER_01 27:02

And you had a job in publication, not public I did pub PR.

SPEAKER_02 27:07

PR PR for a PR company. Yeah, I was doing internal PR for a PR, a global PR company. So it was very, it was a very meta inside baseball. And it was you you were there not as a temp, but as an intern or I was at an I was um it was kind of like it was a temp thing that had a deadline, but always it was expressed to me that most people stay on afterwards. Right. And they offered you to stay on. No, that was when my boss at the time, who I really bonded with and was like my mentor and supervisor and my my my boss, one day she just didn't show up to work. And I was like, what's going on? And someone told me that she had uh she was on the list to adopt a baby, and they called her the day before, and they were like, We have a baby for you. So she was on maternity leave. So she went from like not being pregnant, not even on my radar, that she might have a baby sometime soon, to like the next day she was on maternity leave because she adopted a baby, which good for her, what a beautiful thing. But I was like, Oh, now I'm alone in this department, no one knows who I am, like, no one knows what I've been doing.

SPEAKER_01 28:08

And then after that, that's when I went to No, but you forget that they offered you a job because they were they were interviewing people and they realized nobody knew how to write. Yeah, you had to take a writer. Nobody knew how to write. These these millennials don't know how to write, okay, unless it's in a text. So they gave you that job, and but you said no, and then you went and you worked in a photography studio, and then opened up.

SPEAKER_02 28:33

That was one of my favorite jobs, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:34

Right, and then you opened your own for from 2017 to 2020, and it into COVID, and you kept it alive during COVID, and then you sold it. Yep. You sold you so you were able to sell it during COVID, everything like of course, all with the help of God. Do not think anything that was yours, and everything was guided by Hajgaha Pratas and God's divine intervention 100%. Now that you you can say that now that you look back at it. Okay, but this was all in your act one. Do you understand that? And then after 20 Most gays are like, I've been working in real estate for 20 years, I can't do it anymore. I have to change it. You like, I got that out of the way, I got the the PR company out of the way, I got the photography out of the way, every single real estate wasn't for me.

SPEAKER_02 29:18

The PR company I enjoyed, but it just seemed like the internal structure was too shaky for me. And then the the photography studio I loved also, and then that's what made me start my own business from 2017 to 2020. And somewhere in between the 2017 to 2020 is when I actually started managing you because there was a time where I was doing both.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

If in your act one, then you took a business that was already running me and blew it up.

SPEAKER_02 29:45

Yeah, but that really started around 2021, 2022. Okay, which when I full-time went to but there was a time where I was you were still in your 20s.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

Yeah. So you weren't in act three yet. I wasn't in act three. So your act three, your act one set you up for your act again, just like I began doing comedy full-time and was making a living in comedy, and then you now became a manager or the the head of this company that we have together. And that so that's what I that's why I say 30 is your my cutoff is your is your is was is I'm I'm in I'm in the beginning twilight stages of act two. Beginning of act two. It's like they came back from intermission, the curtain open, enter Leo. Hi.

SPEAKER_02 30:26

Hi, you thought you saw the last of that bitch.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

Yes, you saw and you revamp the face.

SPEAKER_02 30:32

Yeah, and we've lasered a bunch of things off.

SPEAKER_01 30:34

Lasered and removed and re this yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:39

Part of your act one is you need to get a new face. If you don't like it, you need to do it earlier.

SPEAKER_01 30:43

And remove and if and if you're fat, take care of that. Yeah, part of your act one should get your act together with actually what wherever you are, get your little bit more. Yeah, and and move if you have to rearrange your hair follicles. Oh yeah. Rearrange your hair follicles, rearrange your uh We're very for gender-affirming care for everyone.

SPEAKER_02 31:05

Yeah, yeah. Um what do you but what do you think it means for my act two and three if so I cram so much lifetime into act one? Plan.

SPEAKER_01 31:14

Sit with a journal and plan your act two. Just like you see me sitting writing down all the things that I write, plan your I'm in, I'm in I'm not yet, but soon to be in act three. How does that make you feel? According to Jim Norton, it goes, you're delusional. I think you're gonna have an act four, is the thing. I uh no, I'm gonna have a very long, perfect act three that uh with a good ending, and and it's just what it is. It's like it's but it's act three, and I'm I'm about to get in there. I'm not in there yet. Not in there yet. I'm closing out this act two and um in a good place, in a happy place, figuring out where I like to vacation, figuring out where I like to work, how I like to work. Uh open, very open to all types of new things that I haven't done, film-wise, television-wise, uh book-wise, all these different things. Um, so I'm really looking forward to my act three, which is in a few years, and you're uh and you're just beginning your act two. But I think there's some kind of like uh uh uh a formula if one partner's in an act so you're an act three and a half, and maybe you're an act two and a half. It brings you back a few weeks. Yeah. Yeah. We'll hold by that. I think that's a good, I think it's a good uh what else did you write down over there? What else did I write down there? Um the the rabbi thing, what was this? Uh what else did I write?

Songs That Won’t Leave Your Head

SPEAKER_01 32:49

Songs that get stuck in your head. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 32:53

What do you have stuck in your head, honey?

SPEAKER_01 32:55

I cannot tell you. When a song gets stuck in your head and you can't get it out.

SPEAKER_02 33:00

So tell me, what's stuck in your head? Is it any of the new Charlie XCX songs? None of those. Gaga got stuck in my head the other day.

SPEAKER_01 33:07

Oh, I'm so proud of you. Gaga got stuck, but the problem is I don't know any of the words. I know you don't. So that's the big problem, is that I don't know any of the words. So I was literally, and the problem is.

SPEAKER_02 33:20

So you're pretty good at making up words.

SPEAKER_01 33:21

I'm I can make up all the words, and in any language. And it sounds real. And it sounds 100% real. So I was, and again, especially if you're not in the gym, I'm on the treadmill screaming in full voice. And I was gonna get a I gotta go hum. I don't know any of the words, even though I've heard that time a million times. I went to her concerts. I don't know, any other, but it's just like ta da. It sounds so Jewish when I sing it. Hold on. Uh, sponsored by Peter Kahn of Compass. Oh, yeah, Peter bought me a toy. Peter bought us a toy on on Instagram. On TikTok shop.

SPEAKER_02 34:15

On TikTok shop. Play it. No, do one of the hold it to the microphone. There's a clapping one somewhere on the side. Yeah, there's a clapping one. Yeah, I don't know what it is. Um my friends and I are we're all in our act twos, as you just mentioned. And we love buying each other toys meant for toddlers. I don't know what it is.

SPEAKER_01 34:39

Peter, by the way, with his candy, is in act one. Yeah, yeah. Peter loves it. He's like a toddler. He just loves candy.

SPEAKER_02 34:46

No, he's gotten better though. He just instill indulges in the candy.

SPEAKER_01 34:49

We have a friend who is a sugar addict, and he'll admit it. Wait, let's not talk about that. But I'm just like, but like he he like he's he talked about. He's a new gummy bears. He's so excited about little gummy bears, but he bought us this toy, and I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 35:06

This is that's enough. It's enough. Speaking of uh what I was gonna talk about something friend related. Oh. But let's finish the songs that get stuck in your head.

SPEAKER_01 35:16

What songs gets nothing gets stuck in your head that you can't get it out?

SPEAKER_02 35:20

No. Well, no, yeah, there's the ones that I scream around the house where um um what what am I always singing? You're still the one that's that one a lot for some reason. And then if it makes you happy, like that one you always sing, I don't know. It can't be that. I have a whole playlist called Songs to Blast at Home. And sometimes when you're at home, I blast them. Oh, good. Yeah, and those are the kind of songs that are on there, but they're not stuck in my head per se. And also I know the words.

SPEAKER_01 36:01

Songs that I don't even know, but sometimes if I hear a part of it, it I can't get out. So I go, and of course, in songs that I you don't even uh what's that song from? One singular sensation. I don't know the words. Yeah, ta da da da da ta ta. I just it just these are the songs, and then there's a whole bunch of Jewish songs. And recently one got stuck in my head and it was there for three days straight.

SPEAKER_02 36:29

Do you ever just like put your headphones in and listen to the whole song front to back to the sound of your head? Because that's usually what will do it for the song.

SPEAKER_01 36:36

So on the flight, on the flight that I had, so I listened to the song 18 times. It's Cantor uh Moshe Stern singing, Aha Tay. Oh, he was on my Spotify rapped.

SPEAKER_02 36:50

What? He was on my Spotify rapped, like most songs listen to.

SPEAKER_01 36:56

I don't think he's on Spotify. Yeah, I'm lying to you, of course not. DJ Rabbi Moshe Stern. Moshe Stern, who passed away, was one of the best cantors, especially for Nusap for the actual motif of the prayers. Okay. May he rest in peace. Okay. Blessed memory. What did you want to talk about? Your friend? I don't know if that's a good topic, but go ahead.

Friend Breakups And Changing Expectations

SPEAKER_02 37:19

The topic of friend breakups. I I I'm kind of breakup in pauses. I'm in oh yeah. So I guess there's friend breakups and then there's friend hiatuses. Yeah. But sometimes the hiatuses turn into breakups. And I'm kind of in the midst of a friend hiatus right now without naming names. But have you ever gone through a friend breakup? So as someone who's in act three. How dare you? Two and a half? 2.75? 2.75?

SPEAKER_01 37:53

I'm two point I'm 2.85. 2. Even 90. I'll even say 2.90. Okay, so as someone who's in the 2000s, I have I have four years left of of act of act two. Okay. I will tell you that friendships change. Yeah, that's right. And you're and the best thing to do is to just change your expectations of the friends.

SPEAKER_02 38:18

Yeah, but to me, if you change your expectations enough and lower your expectations enough, then that's not long, there's no that's no longer a friendship, it's an association.

SPEAKER_01 38:28

There is energy that you feel you have your friends. If you have your friends that are a constant in your life, you don't speak to and you don't it's hard to explain. Try. We're on a podcast. We've got a mic, we've got lights. You have your day-to-day friends. Someone you you check in with every day. This was a day-to-day friends. Now I used to be like that with Donnie Moss. I if I didn't speak to Donnie Moss during the during the day, this is before texting.

SPEAKER_02 38:56

Full disclosure, you saw him yesterday, you're still friends. We're still friends.

SPEAKER_01 38:59

He's one of my closest friends. I love him. I love his husband, who's one of the bravest people in the world I know. And and we keep in touch, but now it's more every few couple of weeks. Hey, how are you? Literally just checking in, are you alive? Yeah, all good. My friend's coming to see you in in Baltimore. And then we catch up a few minutes, a few dates, what he's doing. Just you know, and then if I'm by the house, I'll swing by. But he and I used to every day check in. If I didn't hear from him, I go, Oh, he's lying dead somewhere. And but the friendship changes. Doesn't mean my it's just the expectations you have from people, you know, like if someone's uh it's not expectations, but like the your your your your friendship with them changes and you have to be okay with that. You have to be, you know, uh amenable uh is it is that the word for this thing? Kind of, kind of amenable to two, and then when you move, when friends move somewhere, that's different, but it's still a friendship that's changing. But still a friend.

SPEAKER_02 40:08

I went through one bad friend breakup that was pretty traumatic, and it was a it was not a hiatus, it was a full-on falling out friend breakup. And it's I feel like people don't talk about it enough because I I think it's just as traumatic, if not sometimes more traumatic, than an actual breakup.

SPEAKER_01 40:28

Well, you have to realize also that there's a spiritual aspect to it. Anybody that comes in your life is there for a reason. It's somebody that you need to do something with, to to finish something with or to start something with. So you you learn from them and or or you learn not to do whatever, or to not meet someone like that again. If if you're smart.

SPEAKER_02 40:49

I guess I'm trying to since I have gone through it before and now I feel like it's happening again, I'm trying to do the it's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me. Like, is it me? Am I the problem? No, no. Am I the common denominator in all of this?

SPEAKER_01 41:05

No, no, no, no, common denominator. It's two people you've if you had if you have there are people who have gone and fought with everybody and are in lawsuits, and those those are those are you, and you know what I'm talking about. Yeah you know exactly what I'm talking about. Those you had two people that was Yeah, but I was very, very, very, very close with them. Yeah, no, I I rem you know you're you're very good at spotting at spotting crazy, so you're you're able to avoid people. Yeah, that's true. Right. So but I'm just saying, there's there's people that you have different, um like Jake Cohen, he's a friend, he's a friend friend. I could call it We're going to Fire Island with him this week. Literally, stay tuned for the hollow content. We are going to spend a week with him in Fire Island, yeah, and I love him. And I he's the sweetest. And to be around him, you grow and he grows, and it's just that in amazing. But there's times where we're weeks we don't see him.

SPEAKER_02 41:59

But that's just New York.

SPEAKER_01 42:01

And also don't forget this whole thing with Instagram, too. You feel like you're in everyone's life when you're not. Like Bill and Joe, our friends Bill and Joe, even though we don't see them that often, I just know, oh, he's here, he's dancing there, they're going there. I feel like, and they know we love them. And so it's Instagram makes things a little bit, but and and I know I could call him Tomara. There's good and bad to what Instagram is. Yeah, and then there's also this thing like all of a sudden you see him uh at the after party at Radio City to see Jim and Joe there, but years. Caleb and all that, uh Caleb and and um and and Jason are friends to who've seen me perform in toilets. All of a sudden they're seeing me at at uh Radio City. It's it's just uh the friendships just those are long-term friendships that there's natural like peaks and valleys, and then you have the ones that you're currently with 24, they're in your constant, you know, and you guys are are with the you're you're on the group chats, so you're like, hey, this and that funny. Uh and you send each other uh reels and you comment on the reels, and so okay, so you have that to keep your friendship going. Yeah. Whereas I need to get on a phone for two minutes and speak to somebody, yeah. You know, and it but that so it changes. You are good about that.

SPEAKER_02 43:17

You are good about calling people on the phone to check in. Yeah. I'm not good at that. So many stars have to align for me to call someone on the phone just like casually.

SPEAKER_01 43:26

Oh no, no, yeah. If yeah, your your age people, if they're if there's if the phone call's ringing, something's off. Something's crazy off.

SPEAKER_02 43:35

Except I call you all the time and you never answer. I don't know why it is. My thing is the phone is always off.

SPEAKER_01 43:40

When I discovered that do not disturb button, that doesn't come off. It doesn't it doesn't come off? I'm at the gym, I don't want anybody coming in, and also it stops the emails and stuff from coming in, the dinging me. So while I'm singing, I don't want to be interrupted. Yeah. While I'm on the treadmill singing, no one should be dinging me. On the singing, which by the way, I Everyone hears you. I don't care. By the way, I don't care. I just don't care. They're all wearing earphones and only you hear me. I'm wearing earphones too, and I still hear you, honey. Oh honey. Uh what else was there? Um that's that was that was my thing too. I just um being called rabbi. That was fun. And act one, two, and three, I think that was a very important thing to discuss. Well, what else did

How Comedy Taste And Craft Evolve

SPEAKER_01 44:31

you have for us?

SPEAKER_02 44:31

I had just some like questions written down, and kind of one of them relates to the act one, two, three topic that we've been discussing. Go for it. Because one of them just says um, how do you think your sense of humor has changed over the last 10 to 20 years?

SPEAKER_01 44:49

My sense of humor has changed to or your comedy. Oh well, that's a two different things. How okay, so your comedy. My comedy has changed to much more to I'm screaming on stage. I'm still screaming. Yeah, you're still screaming. And people like that. And by the way, I'm not the only one screaming. There's many other comics that are doing very well. Bill Burr screaming, and he's doing very well. So anybody telling me not to scream, uh kiss and toch us. Big fat kiss and tuchis to anybody that's giving me comedy advice after 32 years. You shouldn't be only to scream.

SPEAKER_02 45:23

Comedy advice, if you could give comedy advice to your 25-year-old self, what would you say?

SPEAKER_01 45:30

Keep at it. You're doing a good job. That's it. Keep at it. Just keep at it. And obviously build a team quicker, build a team quicker, and focus on organizing your audience and um focus on organizing your audience and um and build a team that is good and uh and believes in you. That's what I would tell my 25. But my sense of humor has changed. I mean, you know, I I love watching comedians that have nothing to do with comedy that I do.

SPEAKER_02 46:02

Yeah, totally different genres. Pat Williams, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:05

Pat Williams' gold specials I could watch and just sit there on the sofa. And you're dying laughing. And I'm dying laughing. There's this new comedian that came out of the whole, out of the whole Tony. The the whole Kill Tony thing. There's a uh Pat O'Connell, this kid who looks I just watch his clips and I'm pissing in my pants. And not only like is the joke so funny, and then you see uh Tony cracking up red. He's red, he's laughing so hard. He's really being he's killing Tony.

SPEAKER_02 46:44

He's literally I personally don't like kill Tony, but I respect the apparatus he's built that's given so many people careers at this point.

SPEAKER_01 46:52

By the way, so I spoke with we were at the table speaking with Nikki Glazer about it, and and uh I you gotta respect the business that he built. No, for sure. The business that he built for he goes, hey, everybody has an attention span of one minute. Yeah, let me do a comedy show when everybody's doing one minute. Yeah, and some comics blew up out of there. Yeah, and and that you can't say, yes or no. Which is, I mean, comics that were not doing comedy.

SPEAKER_02 47:18

No, there's that some of them, it's like I've done open mics and now I'm in front of Right.

SPEAKER_01 47:22

And now there is when I see I see them with a touring date, that means someone's booking them, advancing them. That means the wait staff at the comedy club is working that night. That means people are tipping them, that means people are showing up, people are parking in the parking garage. It isn't it it's all from from being able to be funny for one minute on a show. Yeah. Um roast wise, Tony is just uh I mean a powerhouse. That last special of his is not something that I usually uh am uh a huge fan of, but but that that's I just love watching comedy. It's not mine, that's not like my type of humor. Jim Norton. But you do avoid Jim Norton is not comedy. I do. He's sitting there. I'm a salesman, I want to sell these jokes. I'm gonna I want to hear the laugh. Jim Norton, I was watching last night. Do you know what it's like? He's so funny. Oh, but his cadence, I realize his cadence. You know, when you play the piano, you learn how to play the piano, there's that thing that goes t-click-t-k-what's that called whatever it's called.

SPEAKER_02 48:32

A metronome, not a metronome.

SPEAKER_01 48:34

Metronome?

SPEAKER_02 48:35

We're being told it's a metronome.

SPEAKER_01 48:36

We're being told it's a metronome. It's a metronome. It goes like t-tic t-tac t-tik-t-tac, and he fits in his words in the right place.

SPEAKER_02 48:44

It's almost like iambic pentameter, yes, like Shakespearean. Almost. Like da-da-da-da-da-de-da-da-da-do-de-do-do.

SPEAKER_01 48:52

And and with this ease, and it's there's no, and it you can tell that he doesn't care if you're gonna laugh at this because he's just in a flow state. He's in a flow state, and it's so good. To watch Jim Norton is such, and it's something I can never do. I can't do that. Yeah, I can't do that. Um uh, so that's my comedy that I love to watch is stuff that I don't do.

SPEAKER_02 49:17

Well, speaking of things you love to watch, would you like to talk about things you love, like our sponsors?

Sponsors Then Tickets And Merch

SPEAKER_01 49:24

God, do I love our sponsors? We want to thank AH Provisions, who are slaying it. They are in Trader Joe's mazzletov, mazzletov, mazletov. Um glot kosher. I know what they are. Glot kosher food that is so delicious and so amazing and so prepared beautifully, and comes from a factory that's so clean and gorgeous that Seth, the owner, would love to give you a tour of it if you want. And they have great merch as well. Uh koshadogs.net, because their hot dogs are the best hot dogs there is in the world.

SPEAKER_02 50:00

Yeah, if you're gonna eat a hot dog, eat a good hot dog.

SPEAKER_01 50:03

If you're gonna fresh a hot dog, that's the hot dog you fresh. That's the no, I mean, you have to when you get to a point, I'm gonna eat a hot dog, we're barbecuing it summer, showing Godavin, boom. That's the hot dog you eat. Promo code Modi for 30% off of your first order, and the fans that keep sending us pictures of their product, isn't this your sponsor? Keep doing that. We love it. And then Whites in Luxembourg, the law firm that not only does well, they do good, super, super philanthropic, and they are collaborators and sponsors and push it just friends of the podcast. Arthur, uh, who's uh my like an older brother to me, and then Randy, who's wife, who listens to the podcast to tell him what we talk about. And Sixth Street Synagogue is I don't know if there's there's they're not a sponsor, they don't give they're a spiritual sponsor. They're a spiritual sponsor. Six Street Synagogue, first of all, there's nothing that makes me happier when people tell me I heard about it on the podcast, and that's why I'm here. Come, Sixth Street Synagogue, Google it, schmoogle it, whatever you have to do. It's on six between first and second, and it is it's uh it's a place you can be a proud Jew and be you, all in one place. Rabbi Galbelino and his family and me, and it's it's it's a vibe, and you can dress however you want. Just come. There's always a kiddish, there's always something to eat, and the great people, and and just that's that's that's what we want to thank. That's what we want to thank. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:38

Well, we have a few minutes left. Do you want to dates? Um well, we can do the dates in a second.

SPEAKER_01 51:45

This is my this I have new scrap, I have scrap paper till the end of my act three. I we had these posters made thinking we're gonna sell them at Radio City Music Hall. We have 5,000 of these. We and not not one was sold. Not one true.

SPEAKER_02 52:03

No, no, they sold a few. Yes. Oh. Oh good. Being negative.

SPEAKER_01 52:08

I'm not being negative. I'm like God gave me an amazing uh God gave me amazing scrap paper. Um no. So do you want to wait what where are you gonna go? I'm I was gonna do the dates. Unless you have it.

SPEAKER_02 52:20

I was gonna do the dates in a separate clipped video.

SPEAKER_01 52:22

Okay. But if as we s as we head out, um there are shows everywhere, and some of them are on sale, and some of them you have to get on a wait list.

SPEAKER_02 52:31

Uh not a wait list, a uh it's not a we haven't put them on sale yet, but we're collecting emails if you live in that area, so that when they do go on sale, you're the f you get a special little head start on the tickets. Yes. If that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 52:45

That's in Long Island, and that's in uh all uh in New Jersey, and those are gonna be amazing shows, and they're gonna sell out very, very fast. Thank God. Um, everything is on ModiLive.com. And um say hi. Let us know what you think.

SPEAKER_02 53:02

We have merch available on ModiLive.com, or you can go to Moshiach Energy.com. That either way, or you can go through the website, it'll link you to the what to the merch website. And you can also book a cameo from you.

SPEAKER_01 53:14

Cameos. We can still keep doing cameos, trickle in birthdays, and uh and simchas or or or grievance or people, whatever, just a chizuk, a little a little energy for somebody who's going through something. I I pick the camera and I always make it very I don't just do it, I do it with a full heart. Um, and uh so we do the cameos. Um, people always show it to us when we do the meet and greets, and that's it. But ModiLive.com. And when you get tickets, don't just get for yourself, get for friends. Don't just buy one or two tickets, buy a few. By the time the date comes, you're gonna have someone to bring with you and somebody who might need that laugh. So be the friend that brings the friends to the comedy show because that creates machiach energy. Modi live.com. See you all at a live show. Bye. Bye.